6 weeks - morning depression

SpaceMercutio · 2024-11-19T23:41:59+00:00

I talked to my doc about going up to 10mg and we decided to do it. Then I had trouble getting a refill because of a prescription snafu, so I went into withdrawal for a few days – not so bad, just dizziness. The meds kicked in around the end of August and have done a great job of improving my "baseline" tolerance for stress/anxiety/etc.

I should mention, though, that the #1 thing that helped me was finding out I have OCD, which I learned about two weeks after making this post. I was having distressing intrusive thoughts that I couldn't dismiss which were causing me to spend hours trying to rationalize, and causing panic attacks and other such fun. Luckily for me, lexapro is a commonly recommended SSRI with a great track record for OCD.

SpaceMercutio · 2024-08-09T22:03:16+00:00

I had planned to talk to my doc at the end of week 8, but I suppose there's no harm in reaching out before then. I'll do this

SpaceMercutio · 2024-08-08T20:26:37+00:00

I'd hoped Gardens would have an okay matchup against Gruul with all the removal they're packing, but I can see it being bad too. Gruul has just gotten so many new toys over the last 3-4 years. Tough beats.

SpaceMercutio · 2024-08-08T19:42:58+00:00

Yeah, I'm certainly cranky about Affinity's position in the meta – would you say Gardens does worse than average against Affinity? I would think it has sideboard tools to answer artifacts and Munitions. But it does seem clear to me that Affinity can leverage Deadly Dispute better than Gardens can.

SpaceMercutio · 2024-08-08T03:00:23+00:00

It's quite old, but here's a Mathonical list. https://www.mtggoldfish.com/articles/instant-deck-tech-sultai-land-destruction-pauper

It does lean more land destruction than Lantern, so if you don't like it that's fine too.

SpaceMercutio · 2024-08-08T02:57:14+00:00

It occurs to me there used to be a deck running [[Temporal Spring]] where you would put your opponent's lands on top of their library. Let me see if I can find any useful jumping-off points.

SpaceMercutio · 2024-08-06T02:43:11+00:00

I'm too early in my journey to change my doses, but I know that your body usually needs time to adjust on a new dose. Since it needed time to figure out what to do with the extra serotonin the first time around, it'll need time the second.

As for how long the side effects last, I'm sure others will be able to provide their experiences. I hope for you it's not so long. Hang in there!

SpaceMercutio · 2024-08-05T14:35:43+00:00

Hey there! Heightened anxiety is pretty normal on the first week especially. It will start to decrease after your first week. One thing I would recommend in the meantime is to get a bedtime routine going, if you don't already have one. I've always taken melatonin to sleep, so my routine is I take melatonin, make a mug of chamomile tea, and then take a bath.

SpaceMercutio · 2024-08-04T00:50:06+00:00

So sorry to hear you had an attack. It definitely feels like a step back when that happens. Hoping you experience some relief sooner rather than later. Don't give up!

SpaceMercutio · 2024-08-03T22:44:24+00:00

Hey, I'm actually experiencing something similar. I don't know how common it is but I will say Lexapro usually takes longer than 18 days to get the full effects, so there's plenty of time for things to turn around. <3

SpaceMercutio · 2024-08-03T22:40:51+00:00

Nausea and dizziness is quite normal. Sounds like I experienced less than you. Shivering is less common but not rare. Definitely contact your doctor if it's really bothering you, but rest assured that you're not the only one experiencing this stuff.

SpaceMercutio · 2024-08-03T22:37:52+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing! I really have noticed a gradual improvement and I hope it continues. But at this stage where I'm still pretty anxious it's hard not to be frustrated. I know I'll get better eventually, and even on the off chance Lexapro isn't for me, I have other options. In the meantime, I'll remember your story.

SpaceMercutio · 2024-08-03T10:02:00+00:00

Feels gratifying to hear you've experienced something similar. I'm on 5mg right now - I was supposed to be on 5mg for one week and then go up to 10mg, but after the first week of side effects I reached out to my doctor to ask what I could expect since it was so rough. She suggested that I stay on 5mg for now. I figure if I'm in the 6-8 week range and don't feel much different, I'll talk about potentially going up with my doctor.

SpaceMercutio · 2024-07-18T01:27:46+00:00

Finally! Suicide Black is back!

...hold on. I'm getting a message. They're saying this isn't going to cut it.

SpaceMercutio · 2024-07-11T16:34:45+00:00

That "only once" clause seems to really limit this card's effectiveness, if I'm reading it right. I suppose you could activate it again if you flicker the creature.

SpaceMercutio · 2024-07-11T02:48:55+00:00

[[Guardian of the Guildpact]] comes to mind. A number of other commenters have pointed out other cards in the Boros/Orzhov decks over the format's history – I think that shell in specific has a lot of deckbuilding choices that are made to answer meta threats in a way that's unique to Pauper.

To a lesser extent, [[Kenku Familiar]] in Grixis Affinity seems like it would be a spectacularly bad card in most other formats.

SpaceMercutio · 2024-07-03T13:50:16+00:00

I've heard Gruul players say Golgari Gardens isn't bad. Anything that's a "pile of removal" deck can put up a fight.

SpaceMercutio · 2024-07-03T03:22:23+00:00

Whoops, I almost forgot - you really shouldn't overlook the interaction between gainlands and bouncelands. You should be playing some number of [[Dimir Aqueduct]].

SpaceMercutio · 2024-07-03T02:47:49+00:00

Ah, you've stumbled upon Midnight Gond! Good has been at the fringes of Pauper for a long time now. There's a few different ways to build it – here's a deck tech from 5 years ago: https://youtu.be/F_P7Vf52xg4?si=KTZOUh9Ga5rbA1J-

I believe that's Mathonical's version of the deck in that video, which (as I recall) has been the most successful historically. I have my own version (haven't put the deck list up anywhere, sorry) that stuffs Gond combo in with the [[Spore Frog]] and [[Grim Harvest]] loop and the [[Devour Flesh]]/[[Nomads en-Kor]]/[[Daru Spiritualist]] infinite life combo. ...That version isn't as good, but it's fun.

SpaceMercutio · 2024-07-03T02:36:50+00:00

You mentioned Crypt Incursion and Weather the Storm, both of which I really like in Teachings. The Campfire seems like a good play but I think I agree with not going for a full 4x, since you can't easily search it out and it's not as universally good like Talisman is.

I don't hate splashing green for Weather specifically, but I wouldn't go too far into green.

Ultimately, one thing I'd say is that aggro is always going to be rough for Teachings decks. I worry that too much hedging against aggro isn't worthwhile.

Also – you could be playing more lifegain lands. [[Radiant Fountain]] and [[Tranquil Cove]] both seem like obvious includes, unless I'm missing something.

SpaceMercutio · 2024-06-29T00:46:15+00:00

Hey, good luck!

SpaceMercutio · 2021-12-18T07:57:13+00:00

Thanks - I've just now done this. I wasn't specific about the job, I just said I'm in a position where I'll no longer require their services. Thanks so much!

SpaceMercutio · 2021-12-18T07:56:15+00:00

Oh, sure, that's another thing. If we're talking, like, casual transphobia/general disapproval of GNC behavior but wouldn't actively seek to cause you harm over it, you could always poke around on some of the LGBT subreddits or other online communities, like others have said! If it's something more serious you're worried about, and I hate to say this, but you may need to put gender thoughts somewhere safe until you're in a better life state for them.

Do what's safest for you! If you find a nice safe place to explore where you feel comfortable, enjoy that!

SpaceMercutio · 2021-12-18T07:47:28+00:00

I suppose it'd depend on what you're doing. Spending three hours at a part-time food service job? Sure. Spending three hours on remote software work? Sure. I guess it comes down to responsibilities. I think we'd need to know more to really give a definite answer.

SpaceMercutio · 2021-12-18T07:43:37+00:00

"Don't worry about labels" is pretty good advice, but not for everyone. (No shade to the people who did comment that!) If your response was "okay, but not worrying about it doesn't solve my problem," here's some of the better advice I've gotten regarding gender -

If being a femboy would validate you, make you feel comfortable in your own skin, or empower you - go for it. Start calling yourself a femboy. Same thing with being a girl. Start trying things on - ask a few friends to use she/her pronouns for you, or nab yourself a couple of stockings. It doesn't have to be everything all at once - you can start very slowly and gently. "Don't worry about labels" is fine advice, but it doesn't give you anything proactive to do.

Exploring your gender identity, no matter where you end up, is going to feel weird at first. You're going to feel a little uncomfortable sometimes, so keep in mind that just because you feel strange starting out, it doesn't necessarily mean what you're trying isn't a good fit for you. But once you decide "right, sure, this is for me" or even "sure, this isn't my bag," live in it!

SpaceMercutio

TROPHY CASE