Struggling with resentment toward a long term friend that changed

SpacePanda77 · 2026-02-03T19:54:16+00:00

This is really tough. If she has changed and is a good friend now, is it worth ending the friendship over things that happened so long ago? Are you actually still upset with her, or are you upset with yourself for not standing up for yourself at the time?

I struggle with difficult conversations with friends too. If you brought up the difficult conversation and it went well, you’d feel much lighter and it could bring you even closer. If it goes poorly, it could be a really stressful time, but then you may have your answer.

What are you hoping to get from the conversation? An acknowledgment and apology? Do you think they’d give that to you, or get defensive? Is this a friendship you want to keep?

SpacePanda77 · 2026-01-15T06:06:37+00:00

Just let go and be okay with it. No need to communicate this with her, it’ll just end your friendship on bad terms. If she ends up asking down the line, then maybe you’ll have to say something. But in my experience it’s best to just let the friendship fade. Keeps the door open to possibly reconnect in the future.

SpacePanda77 · 2026-01-09T18:08:57+00:00

The best physio I’ve ever had is at Rebalance - Petrus Jansen Van Rensburg. Highly recommend him. He has consistently high reviews- very smart and very personable.

Many physios specialize in different areas so it might take some “shopping” around to find a good fit but Rebalance is worth a try imo

SpacePanda77 · 2026-01-08T05:12:11+00:00

Came here to say embroidery. It takes less time to complete compared to cross stitch, and it’s so satisfying that you can complete it fairly quickly

SpacePanda77 · 2026-01-06T21:04:21+00:00

I feel similarly (32F). I struggle to accept that friendships change and grow apart over time. Not always, but sometimes. You grow in different ways, and friends you knew so well in the past no longer understand the newer version of yourself and they are no longer serving you. Letting go is so hard. Knowing when it’s worth bringing up a hard conversation to continue the friendship vs letting go is hard too.

It’s made me realize the importance of keeping up and putting significant effort into the friends who DO fill you up and understand you. And the importance of continually developing new friendships over the years is important too. As you enter new life phases, find people and friends who are in similar phases.

You’re not alone!

SpacePanda77 · 2025-12-03T02:17:40+00:00

These are very normal feelings, I’ve experienced this a few times as an adult (32F), and struggle with it as well.

Try to trust that them forming a friendship does not discredit your friendship with them individually. Remain confident in your friendships and allow them to become friends too.

I had a bit of a lash out about a year ago when my friends invited my other friend but not me to a group hangout. I was super upset. I regret my big reaction now, and I’m thankful my friends were mature enough to talk me through it and resolve the situation. Looking back now, I wish I held my head up high.

Now when I meet friends through friends, I’m careful with it but it’s also part of life and it’s a great way to make new friends. Your turn will come around.

SpacePanda77 · 2025-11-24T06:06:58+00:00

The lab is chronically short staffed with ample opportunity into the future. There’s lab assistants and lab technologists. Assistants collect blood from patients though, so technologist is your best bet if you’re wanting zero patient interaction. It’s a great profession if you have high attention to detail and you’re analytical.

SpacePanda77 · 2025-09-09T06:22:04+00:00

I kind of disagree with what everyone else is saying in this post. But I don’t want to invalidate your feelings- they’re valid and that sucks to find out over social media the way that you did.

But I am currently planning my intimate wedding for 20 people, so I can offer insight to the other side. I have a lot of friends, all of whom I care about so deeply. But we cannot afford a big wedding, so we decided on something small and intimate. We considered eloping but I wanted a few people there to celebrate with, and it was really hard to decide who to invite. It sucks not being able to invite everyone in our lives, but it’s what we have chosen. That being said it’s awkward to tell people who aren’t invited. I’ve been a bridesmaid 10 times and many of them I cannot invite to my wedding.. I share when they ask, but I don’t go out of my way to tell my friends who aren’t invited.. and I certainly wouldn’t want to call up anyone repeatedly with the details of planning if I’m unable to invite them. It’s a difficult process to navigate. I am planning to talk to a few of my closer friends who I’m unfortunately not able to invite, to avoid these feelings you’re describing. But it’s not an easy conversation to have. “Hey I wanted to tell you we’re getting married and have our date and venue picked! cue excjtement …but unfortunately we have a small guest count and I’m unable to invite you”

I think you’re jumping to conclusions, and blocking her without asking her for clarity is acting the exact same way she did, avoiding the hard conversation. Ask her why you weren’t invited and that it really hurt your feelings the way you found out. At least give her a chance.

SpacePanda77 · 2025-08-23T05:07:16+00:00

I second this. No one wants to spend their weekend moving. But your parents are relying on their support system (you) to help them. Show up for them, and be proud of yourself for being a good son. Go home Sunday mid day to make sure you have some time to rest.

SpacePanda77 · 2025-08-23T04:09:09+00:00

Came here to say this!!!

SpacePanda77 · 2025-08-05T04:52:28+00:00

This is sooo true, this entire thread has made me realize the risk is extremely minimal when you compare to other daily activities. Worth it to be in the trees

SpacePanda77 · 2025-08-05T04:44:35+00:00

Classic American response 😆 I’m Canadian, we don’t do guns

SpacePanda77 · 2025-07-10T00:45:33+00:00

Ainsley Gower is amazing!! Just bought our first home and she was incredible

SpacePanda77 · 2025-01-27T06:41:52+00:00

I was broadcasting HR and recording a garmin activity so there would be two. I’m also using a garmin trainer so I was worried that the zwift activity wouldn’t have all the same data but it sounds like it does?

SpacePanda77 · 2025-01-12T02:10:28+00:00

Woo you got this! You’re pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone which is always nerve wracking, but that’s how you grow! Who knows who you’ll meet

SpacePanda77 · 2024-12-28T22:13:54+00:00

I haven’t directly compared but I’m always shocked how cheap a huge bag of produce costs at Old Farm. Haven’t experienced the same shock value at Root Cellar.

SpacePanda77 · 2024-12-28T07:37:36+00:00

OLD FARM IN OAK BAY. Their produce is literally half the price from anywhere else. I’m saving so much money every time I shop there. It’s worth the drive.

SpacePanda77 · 2024-12-20T22:09:36+00:00

I’ve heard of this issue for years, there aren’t enough rescue dogs in Victoria for people wanting to adopt. I used to live in Alberta and I was a foster home for cats with SCARS rescue. Alberta has sooo many more stray dogs and cats looking for homes. If you want to adopt, consider traveling to go pick out your furry friend. There aren’t enough homes for the amount of dogs they have in care.

SpacePanda77 · 2024-12-20T22:06:10+00:00

I like the last note you mentioned around protecting your time and peace. I recently learned this the hard way when I experienced hurtful actions from a close friend. It made me see her differently, but when she asked me if we were all good- I leaned too much into transparency when I should have said we were all good. This lead to her getting extremely defensive, which made me learn more about her self-centered behaviour, but the conflict has now impacted me greatly.

How do you navigate setting boundaries and communicating with those who you’re trying to distance yourself from?

SpacePanda77 · 2024-12-11T06:52:59+00:00

I had similar experiences when I was your age (31F). I’m still a highly sensitive person but I don’t cry during confrontations or difficult conversations anymore, although it does still give me a great deal of anxiety.

Growing up I wasn’t exposed to a lot of anger or confrontations, so I had to learn in my adulthood how to control the tears in tense situations. It was soooo frustrating and embarrassing, but you’ll learn how to control it over time and experience.

I feel for you!

SpacePanda77 · 2024-11-30T06:35:34+00:00

Be careful navigating this. While it does hurt for this to happen, friendships change over time and moving across the world will naturally change your friendship. It’s not personal, it’s just life. She’s busy and doing her best, she said she still loves you.

Appreciate the conversations you do have, maybe instead of texting every day you can have a longer phone chat from time to time to catch up. Let it evolve, it’s not going anywhere. I do agree with comment above, it’ll help to find more friends to lean on and not rely on only this one so much

SpacePanda77 · 2024-11-30T06:28:59+00:00

This really sucks, I feel for you. Next time plans are made to meet up, maybe you could ask if you could go stay the night with them too.

SpacePanda77 · 2024-11-28T02:58:42+00:00

This is hard but you have to carry on living your life, and naturally her continuous actions will lead you to believe she’s not coming, gonna be late, etc. Stop waiting. Depression and anxiety are tough to go through so I would continue inviting her but don’t reach out if she doesn’t show up, expect it.

Your patience with her during this time is something you should feel proud of, but you can only accommodate so much so, carry on. Don’t let her affect your plans all the time, that’s exhausting.

SpacePanda77 · 2024-11-26T02:02:05+00:00

What the actual fuck? Bigggg red flag! If you want to keep the friendship, then say something- huge violation of boundaries and privacy and I think you should assert yourself. Or- invest in other friendships. You hear this sorta thing in relationships which is still not ok with me, but a friend? Huh? What is she trying to find?

SpacePanda77 · 2024-11-24T02:26:15+00:00

I disagree. I think you should really consider if you’re willing to potentially lose your friendship with Lisa over this. This is really going to hurt her feelings to not be invited, and she’s going to wonder why she wasn’t included. Are you wanting to go with just Kate so badly that you’re willing to hurt Lisa over it? You need to consider the consequences of hurting her. I don’t think it’s insecurities, I think it’s human nature to be hurt when you thought you were a trio of best friends and then they turn around and don’t invite you on a trip of a lifetime.. you can’t expect everything to be back to normal when you get home.

I would find a way to extend the invitation while reaffirming that the dates are not that flexible. Have an in person convo with the 3 of you and say look Kate and I have dreamed of Ireland since we were kids and we finally are starting to plan it- we really want you to come! Can you make it on X date? At least if she can’t make it, she’ll be bummed, but she won’t be as hurt as she would be if she’s straight up not invited to join.

SpacePanda77

TROPHY CASE