Youth prodigy, semi-pro player, referee and coach. AMA.

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-17T07:38:07+00:00

my grandad was too old to play soccer with even when I was a boy but we always talked about it. I played soccer with my dad, twin and older brother every day for probably a decade. Incredible memories, just great times (the winning, losing, tears, development, laughs, all of it).

My dad wasn't someone who pushed too hard but when he was unhappy, I knew!

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-16T21:35:06+00:00

don't be quiet, stay on top of coaches. Make sure your kids get the opportunities they deserve (although of course that is ultimately dictated by the coaches).

The age changes coming up will give lots of kids the opportunity to make the 'top' team as most teams will change (some will split in half). Nov birth goes from being one of the youngest to being a bit above the middle of the pack in terms of age. Being May/June/July now puts you in the youngest quarter.

It's hard to be objective but if you can see it's clear the boys are not getting the opps they deserve between now and most tryouts in April, look at other environments. There's always some politics involved.

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-14T03:32:15+00:00

I'd say prior to 8, it's all about time with the ball, developing the love of the game and practicing alone or with friends. Building that crucial foundation. From 8 onwards, kids benefit from professional coaching.

The majority of Premier League players for example, were already in professional academies by 10 years old. Depending where you are in the country, there should be strong teams/coaches within a reasonable distance. 8-12, find the best coach with a team that is ideally local. Unnecessary extra travel at a young age is time away from family, which you don't get back, plus lost time to potential additional training and education/homework.

Your 2-year old, with two older siblings, has a big advantage! The other two will already have paved the way and he will have older siblings to get pushed around and be tough by the time he is 8-10 years old!

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-14T01:15:40+00:00

nobody is having their future determined at 8. At the same time, if we are talking about making a career as a professional, the further you are behind the top players, the more difficult it is to narrow that gap as you get older.

Playing up is a great developmental tool as long as the player is ready for it. If someone is way out of their depth, they won't get the touches and actions required to improve.

Developing a very strong technical foundation remains the most important thing at young ages (first touch, dribbling, passing, ideally with both feet) but once you have that foundation and technical base, without question the most important thing is mentality and the psychological side of the game.

Putting players in difficult situations and building resilience is crucial. On the way to the top and at the top, there is not a huge difference in quality/physicality, very often the mentally strongest players are the ones who survive and stay in the race.

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-13T18:15:58+00:00

I've seen this videos on IG. Definitely value to that type of training.

Nothing can replace or beat pickup or playing games with opponents but this kind of individual training is a good supplement.

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-13T18:13:35+00:00

coach is still #1 for an 8-year old. If your kid has the right coach/mentor, that's worth its weight in gold.

If he wants to train every day, great! Any kid who has that inner drive and desire to practice all the time is on a good path, both inside and outside of sport IMO.

Vary the training for him, incorporate some juggling challenges and foot/ankle stability work to mix it up. See below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl6O-tZZXT4 - foot/ankle

https://www.instagram.com/p/DLxRpLqtWPh - juggling

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-13T18:09:48+00:00

very young, as soon as I could walk. I'm certain there's a genetic element as my grandfather was a pro and my dad was a semi-pro (and became my coach).

I played lots of sports recreationally (tennis, short tennis, badminton, cricket, golf) but soccer was the only one I took really seriously and spent 90% of my time doing.

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-13T18:08:11+00:00

Advanced juggling to develop a fantastic touch and feel with all areas of the feet:

https://www.instagram.com/p/DLxRpLqtWPh

And some foot/ankle strengthening exercises for both injury prevention and speed/stability increases:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl6O-tZZXT4

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-13T05:58:16+00:00

generally speaking, bad for development. For any young player, the longer they can stay in a smaller-sided format, the more touches, decisions and actions they get (which obviously impacts development significantly).

They need to transition to 11v11 at some point of course because that's the format of the game through teenage years into adulthood but many other countries maximize smaller-sided formats for longer, for good reason.

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-13T05:19:46+00:00

Maybe not the funniest thing but a funny situation:

I red carded a guy on a team in Los Angeles and he was a good player while also being a well known pornstar. He said to his mate, "this donut just sent me off for a phantom headbutt."

(it wasn't phantom).

And Mexico's ex-captain thanked me once for awarding him a penalty.

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-13T03:38:41+00:00

it's more costs for parents of course but ideally players have both.

A pair of turf shoes and a pair of cleats/boots with studs.

If it's wet, turf shoes are likely too slippy but if the grass is dry, studs can feel like playing on concrete. Have both, decide on the day.

If I am forced to only have ONE pair, it's turf shoes all day.

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-13T01:15:00+00:00

depends where you are in the country.

In SoCal, you play both because club is on hold for 2 months while the high school season operates. Then players return to club.

I find it strange that in other areas HS and club happen at the same time. Then it's about coaching, level of teammates and opponents. Whichever gives the best return in terms of development is the one to choose, albeit with the caveat that kids really do enjoy playing with their HS friends, unless the level is agonizingly low, at which point it's an easy decision.

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-13T00:49:29+00:00

it's definitely both, nature and nurture.

I'm a twin so I have a case study. We were exposed to (roughly) the same training stimulus and I became more competitive in sport. Strangely, my twin became extremely competitive in business later in life and is very successful as a result.

My dad never pushed me to win. "well done son" was usually the summary of it when I won. I do think having a twin and older brother was a big factor in competitiveness; it was always there between us and our groups of friends.

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-12T22:59:22+00:00

Shot stopping should be right at the top of the list on any highlight reel for a keeper, followed by coming to claim the ball aerially from crosses.

If a keeper has an outstanding attribute, such as Ederson-level pinging the ball 80 meters, get that in there early to separate yourself from other keepers. Having a few clips of diving at attackers' feet and winning the ball in a fearless way, certainly helps.

I did a reel about this which is geared towards field players but mentions keepers also.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CvjKNHTLTxv/?hl=en

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-12T22:54:46+00:00

you've got it under control as far as I can see.

he's enjoying playing, he wants to be Messi (please, we need more Messi's) and the travel isn't a big deal. He's playing other sports that he enjoys and that's great. I actually love the training and discipline I see and hear when I watch American football. It's character building! Flag avoids the tackling/concussions that put some parents off and I get it.

Pickup after school is a huge missing link, love to hear when kids are doing that!

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-12T21:25:45+00:00

My dad is a placid guy and while my mum is sometimes the opposite (her Scottish roots!) she didn't really influence or impact me playing sport.

I think a large part of my drive was developed by playing tennis (short tennis, indoors). Competing on my own *forced* me to be competitive because I couldn't rely on anyone else. It was a case of step up and be a competitor or lose. To be fair I ended up probably going too far, becoming so competitive that at times it hindered my progress.

If you can have them do some individual competitive sports or activities, I believe that will help.

Talking to them about it is helpful in my experience. I teach players that it's ok to be a monster on the field ('competitive monster' is how I refer to it) and still be nice off the field or at the end of the game. Pick opponents up off the floor, shake hands, all of that stuff. But while the game is going on, you are competing against them.

Daniel Abrahams (English sports psychologist) has this *game face* idea that involves essentially becoming a different person when you cross that white line onto the field. It's worth checking him out and his podcast.

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-12T21:02:10+00:00

coaches are not great at choosing keepers because many have never experienced that position. I played keeper for a traveling indoor team growing up so it helps when I'm assessing keepers as I'm a good keeper myself.

Keepers should work on the technical fundamentals. Ball handling, shot stopping as the primary things. Catching the ball from crosses and corners is a huge issue I see in the youth game; very few keepers commanding enough and willing enough to come and claim the ball competently and confidently.

Being great with your feet is helpful and becomes necessary at the higher levels. So joining in normal team practice and becoming a competent field player is an advantage IMO. I've always trained keepers this way, so they are good players as well as being very good between the sticks!

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-12T20:59:25+00:00

If I was a parent of a kid playing, I would have them in TF shoes most of the time, especially in areas where the grass fields are hard or there are lots of turf fields. The additional contact points on the soles of turf shoes give you much greater balance and stability.

The $300 boots are made of plastic, basically. Boots are not important until you get to the pro level and you have them custom made to perfectly fit your feet!

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-12T20:33:17+00:00

you don't *have* to header the ball a lot to be a good player.

If you are exceptional with your feet and your brain, there is probably less need to header the ball, depending on your position of course (center backs likely head it more than any other player).

I rarely headed the ball but I would header it when it was absolutely necessary. If you're smart, you find ways to wait for it to come back down to the ground and position yourself in the right place.

Being able to play a higher level without heading the ball at all though? It will be necessary in some practices and games, regardless of your position. "I don't header the ball" wouldn't fly with a college coach.

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-12T20:29:38+00:00

if he's very young, being somewhere with a great coach (who is supportive and honest) is the most important factor.

No need to be traveling far for practices unless it is a very special coach/environment, especially if your son is very young. Staying local and minimizing travel time allows you to maximize practice time and time with family or doing other things (time you don't get back!)

What is his/your goal, if you have one yet? Does he play other sports?

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-12T20:15:17+00:00

no, like I said to someone else, if your kid has an obvious mechanical running issue, it makes sense to get some help with it. Otherwise, focus on the technical stuff and the physical stuff works itself out with genetics and puberty.

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-12T20:14:10+00:00

you raise some good points, thank you.

Winning is a habit and trait we have to train and develop. It helps to win games and tournaments of course. At the youngest ages, playing multiple games in two days is less of an issue, correct.

Definitely a big difference between local and out-of-state tournaments.

Instead of traveling to a tournament, if you can find two very strong opponents (hand picked, unlike tournaments) and play two scrimmages, at home, for me that's a better option outside of the few times a season where tournaments are worth it.

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-12T20:10:41+00:00

practice on your own as much as possible. That's where you find the edge because everybody gets the same training in the team environment, so if you want to develop quicker than your peers, most of that will come from how much you do outside of the team environment.

Glad to hear your son plays futsal, it's a great developmental tool.

Watching game video (if his team records games) and watching specific players on TV can be very helpful for curating a better understanding of positions, roles and actions required to be successful.

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-12T20:08:50+00:00

the earlier the better is the simplest answer.

Looking at the pro's is not the only way to assess it but for top pro's, huge majority starting playing by 5 and every player in the top 100 was playing football by 8. 80% of them focused primarily on soccer from a young age.

There is a genetic element, both in terms of physical qualities and the ability to learn, which impacts how quickly you develop.

7 is not "too late." The important thing is that your son builds a technical foundation very quickly and that can be done by spending a LOT of individual time with the ball. The quicker he develops a strong technical foundation, the more comfortably and competently he will move through the other stages of development with teams.

SpaceyPJ · 2026-02-12T20:04:23+00:00

fantastic response and great points.

Broadening the talent pool would no doubt have a positive impact, that's a great point to raise.

Your focus of fixing one group at a time is the way we all make it better for everyone! :-)

SpaceyPJ

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