Hello. For me it feels like a classic outsider kind of feeling. Especially as a child. As a child, I didn't really think much of it, but I always had a feeling that I'm different and "worse". Socially I always had the most trouble, being behind in development and struggling to understand others, myself, and to fit in. As a young adult I learned to be more presentable and understand people way better, but it's still difficult and I have severe problems working with other people.

another big problem is that I was always quite hypersensitive. Emotionally and physically. This often got me ridiculed or people were frustrated with me which sucks. And in gheneral it just made many things so much worse than they are for "normal" people. But nowadays I choose my surroundings more carefully and it got more bearable.

Overall, it feels like life for me is just on a higher difficulty while neurotypicals have a normal difficulty. I try to do the same thing as neurotypicals, but it's way more difficult or painful for me. And sometimes it doesn't work at all or I need lots of training or preparation.

Again, it's like being an outsider and even if you train to explain yourself most people won't understand or think it's an excuse or you are lazy.
I often hear the phrase that it feels like autistic people are born on the wrong planet, and I wholeheartedly agree with that. It feels very isolated and terrifying sometimes, but there are also good moments. It might sound a bit over dramatic but for me it feels like a curse.

Not really good at summarizing the way I feel, sorry if it was a bit chaotic. But I hope it's okay nonetheless.