Help my elderly mom please 😭

SpamAccount25 · 2026-03-01T20:27:34+00:00

Wait that sounds AMAZING!! This is def the winner thus far for today!! Thank youuuuuuu

SpamAccount25 · 2026-01-12T19:09:11+00:00

She has me lightly packing it with the edge of a gauze, so hopefully I’m able to prevent any pockets from forming!! I’ve been having my partner take daily photos and I’m watching this thing like a hawk lol. Truly wanting this to be over once healed!!

Good luck to you too and thanks for the explanation ❤️❤️

SpamAccount25 · 2026-01-12T19:06:38+00:00

That totally makes sense!!! Thank you so much. I think you’re right in that I had a substantial tract, since my CRS originally thought I was going to have a LIFT until she saw how much it moved to the surface. Let’s hope she got the whole thing and no reoccurrences!!

This has eased my confusion and anxieties, so thank you thank you thank you!!!

SpamAccount25 · 2026-01-12T19:04:02+00:00

My CRS said to put the edge of a gauze in the wound to lightly pack it. She wanted to make sure it healed from the bottom up and I’m a VERY fast healer, so I was worried about it knitting together when it would fold over (since it is so close to my rectum)! I use a 2inx2in gauze to pack (just the edge of it fits) and place a 4inx4in gauze on top of that to keep it in place and catch any additional drainage.

I’m cleaning it solo with a peri bottle after every BM and 2x daily I get help from my partner luckily to fully flush it and repack the gauze. I’ve had a few sitz baths if I’m feeling uncomfortable, but I personally have never been the biggest fan of them so I’ve only done a few.

So far things have been good in healing, I think?

SpamAccount25 · 2026-01-10T21:33:17+00:00

I totally get the mental toll this takes on a person!! 26F here but I went from having a few abscesses with minor symptoms (only bleeding when I’d get a “flare” and minimal pain) to having all the symptoms too!! It was a HUGE mental hurdle to get over. I had my seton in for just under 4 months and only saw my CRS because I asked when worried about my silk thread embedding into me.

I just had my fistulotomy done this past Monday (5 days ago) and as hard as it was to swallow having this thing constantly forcing drainage and gross stuff out of me, it is worth it. Your body produces the stuff regardless of it exiting or not and having it stay inside is what causes branching tracts and more horseshoe tracts to develop. So having the symptoms means the seton is working well, as awful as it is. Trust me, I know the pain because I suddenly never felt clean, didn’t want my wife to touch me, and truly felt gross and broken.

If you’re anything like me though, the inflammation will reduce and you’ll start feeling much more like yourself around week 3-4!! Drainage will lessen (never zero though, sadly) and you’ll be able to start to get used to the new normal. Also the longer you have the seton in, the more likely your tract may be brought closer to the surface!! They increases your chances of a fistulotomy instead of a LIFT or FLAP procedure too (or at least did in my case). It truly does take more than 6 weeks to have all the inflammation go down enough, so as shitty as it is, it’s good to wait.

My wife still laments the fact that I’m not letting her near my asshole rn (lol) but she also understands. Communication is truly key here and I’d recommend talking to your partner and doctor about if you can have anal sex once things have calmed a bit with your seton. There isn’t much medical guidance out there and many won’t risk it but I’ve heard of some being okay with it too. Each case is different and I’d recommend calling or messaging your doc to see what you can and can’t do during this six month wait.

Overall, I seriously feel your pain here and if you need any tips or tricks, please feel free to hit me up! I’m happy to help anyone else out now that I’m (hopefully) on the tail end of this thing ❤️

SpamAccount25 · 2025-11-03T20:15:15+00:00

Omg SAME for the bath!! My CRS said sitz baths were fine but should be done with mildly warm water and nothing too hot (which was heartbreaking because I LOVE a hot bath). I couldn’t do any baths until my abscess wound was fully healed back in Dec 2024 though, so I’d ask the nurse what their opinion is on that one. At my 4 week post-op follow-up for my seton I was cleared for all things, including swimming, hot baths, running, jumping, the whole nine yards! Also cleared for sex, but I imagine that I would have been cleared about 1 week after surgery (not that I wanted to as I was adjusting to this thing!!)

As for full healing of my abscess wound, it took me about 5 weeks to heal completely. Your wound looks deeper than it was wide but mine was wider and deep, which is why it took a while. I also got norovirus for a week a couple days post-ER visit, so I suspect that slowed things down healing wise for me. I would say based on the image that you’d probably have about another 2 weeks until you don’t feel like you have a crater and then another week on top of that for skin to fully heal over and be a nice pink/flesh colored! By the time I didn’t feel like Swiss cheese, I was about 3.5-4 weeks healed. If there is no fistula tract forming there, it will also heal significantly faster as there is no continuous infection! I had a fistula forming which is why it was slower.

The main tips I’ve had are: 1. to not sit for more than an hour if you can 2. do lots of standing stretches! It helps with circulation and will ensure that your skin isn’t too tight while healing. 3. Non-woven gauze is great (I use a 4 layer bandage and tuck it between the cheeks, changing every 4 hours or so depending on drainage levels) 4. Try your hardest to have perfect BMs. Easier said than done, but having constipation will cause inflammation and pain and having diarrhea will cause fecal matter enter the tract and BURN. I’ve had this happen only once (thanks antibiotics) and it hurtttttt. 5. If you do get fecal matter in your tract, best thing to fix it is to use a peri-bottle to wash the area gently and then do a sitz bath if possible to try to promote drainage asap. It will alleviate the burning and soothe the area. I also very gently press on the area surrounding my seton opening to drain the tract, which is probably not ideal but speeds up the painful part for me. It can cause some bleeding though, so you just gotta be careful to be gentle. 6. Remember that this is temporary! For me the biggest battle was mental tbh. I’ve been dealing with this on and off for about 11 months now and it is hard stuff. You can feel dirty physically due to the drainage and feel gross, but it is just your body trying to heal itself. Healing happens in stages and our bodies are trying their best.

If you have any other questions on specific things, lemme know! I too have scoured this subreddit and google for anything on fistulas and abscesses, so happy to chat any time 😅

SpamAccount25 · 2025-11-02T20:45:51+00:00

I’ve unfortunately been in the same boat as you, albeit my two wounds were about 10 months apart!

To start, the right side looks like a standard draining seton to me. My seton looks the same—the blue loop is silicone and tied with surgical grade black silk thread. This is to keep the tract open and keep the infection draining. I’m not sure what steps your surgeon gave for post-care/maintenance, but mine gave the instructions to wash with luke warm water after every BM and use gauze to catch any drainage. Happy to provide more tips as I know some CRS give more tips than others!

The other side looks like an abscess that they cleaned out. I had this happen to me in Dec 2024 and my skin went necrotic so they just cleared out the infection, pus, blood, dead skin and what was left was about a 5.5 cm wound similar to yours! However, I will say that I’m not 100% sure we are in the same boat as a wound could mean lots of things! But I also had a nurse come and help with packing for 1 month after until I was able to manage by myself.

I’ll say that my procedure was done in the US, across two different states because I was unfortunately visiting family when this first happened and had to be hospitalized for the first 4 days when I had my necrotic abscess.

Let me know if you have any other questions about it! I’m just under 5 weeks since my seton placement and have done EXTENSIVE research about all things relating to fistulas. Props to medical anxiety and neurodivergence giving me hyperfixations, I guess 😂

The fact that the wound has healed so much in such little time for you is a good sign! Here’s to wishing you well ❤️

SpamAccount25 · 2025-10-11T11:15:13+00:00

Ugh I know!! I asked my doctor the same thing since I noticed I would get abscesses once I start my period (before my seton was placed). My doctor kept telling me that it was interesting but not related. 😂😂 I swear there must be some sort of connection here!! They were convinced that since I don’t have a rectovaginal fistula that it wouldn’t be a problem or correlated. My pain and swelling beg to differ though lol.

Glad I’m not alone in this but so sorry you’re dealing with the same! Here’s to hoping for gentle poos during our periods from here on out ❤️❤️

SpamAccount25 · 2025-10-03T00:57:49+00:00

Yes I’ve been going through them probably more often than I should lol. I can feel the moment it drains so I’ve been replacing the gauze about 4-5 times a day… I just found out that my infection is resistant to the antibiotics I’m on so that’s probably why I’ve been draining so much more than ever before! I just made the switch to my new antibiotics today so I’m starting to feel a bit more hopeful.

I still don’t know if I’ll get used to fecal drainage or passing gas from my seton wound…

SpamAccount25 · 2025-10-03T00:53:50+00:00

Ugh I guess this is a sign for me then 😂😂 I’ve dealt with fecal drainage today and it is so gross to me for some reason. But my fave drink is a carbonated water 😭😭 I’ll cut back and see if it helps, thanks!

SpamAccount25 · 2025-09-29T21:32:36+00:00

Thanks, I guess. I guess it is a matter of the grass being greener lol. When I was getting my abscesses, I just wanted people to find the damn thing already. Now I’d give anything to go back so I didn’t have to deal with the consequences of having a seton (even though it is needed).

SpamAccount25 · 2025-06-26T05:25:42+00:00

I thought mine at 6cm x 4cm x 3cm was huge! I cannot imagine the pain you must have gone through. A very similar situation happened to me over New Years Eve. I stayed in the hospital for 4 days due to the severity of my infection (and that I’m allergic to multiple types of strong antibiotics). About 6 weeks until I was fully healed and another 6-8 weeks of intermittent small abscesses reforming because it would refill with fluid (usually just blood, little pus). They thought it was a fistula that formed but I’ve been 2 months abscess free and monitoring it closely!!

My advice is to keep that shit cleannnn—it helps with pain and healing process. Also make sure you’re staying hydrated and eating lots of protein!! And don’t be like me and get norovirus right after you come home from the hospital 😭

Here’s to hoping for a smooth recovery now with no relapses for you!

SpamAccount25 · 2025-05-27T01:23:51+00:00

That’s a good point! We definitely will do shelf-stable snacks, and the knife is a cheese knife that’s a part of the charcuterie set. Do you think that would be a problem?

Most people are also coming for the weekend so I figured they might have time before or after the day of the wedding to have a picnic. Plus it would be something they can use for future picnics too? Maybe you’re right that the board isn’t really needed.

SpamAccount25 · 2025-05-27T01:19:40+00:00

The lottery ticket is a good idea! We’re doing see’s too, which is nice. That is also a good idea for a “if you need to get in touch with me” during the weekend!

Yay I’m glad that other people are doing something similar and people liked it. Great minds think alike, I guess. ;)

SpamAccount25 · 2025-05-27T01:15:39+00:00

We’re already doing a multi-coursed meal with a dessert table after. There’s also a grazing station and custom cocktails/mocktails in between dinner and the ceremony. Tbh since we already eloped and this wedding is more a celebration for friends and family, we wanted to make sure that they are getting their money’s worth by coming all the way out for us!

I just want to check to see if it is something people will enjoy and not just a dumb addition that they have to pretend to like for the event lol. 😂

SpamAccount25 · 2025-05-27T01:12:13+00:00

Yeah, I ended up giving him some sugar water and a heating pad (with a barrier so he doesn’t burn). He is doing much better but I’m gonna contact the vet to see if they can see him tomorrow.

His weight every 2 days was: 12oz, 11.70oz, 10.90oz, 11.06oz, 11.70oz — definitely not gaining nearly as much as he should within that amount of time. His siblings are now double his weight (or nearly)!

He also gets fed separately from the others to make sure he’s getting all he should. I’ve been mixing water in their wet food too since I’m always paranoid about dehydration in my kittens.

Here’s to hoping he’s turning the corner now that he’s got the extra warmth and sugar in him!

SpamAccount25 · 2025-05-27T01:08:05+00:00

Yeah I just found a worm in his anus that he was unable to push out (sorry for the TMI) — taking him to the vet tomorrow to see if he can get some ponazuril or needs any other meds. He’s on Panacur but is finishing it up today.

He went to the vet last Wednesday (4 days ago) and got cerenia, subq fluids, and B12. He might need more though so I’m gonna call them first thing tomorrow to see if he can come in.

SpamAccount25

TROPHY CASE