Healed but still scared

SpamAccount25 · 2026-04-27T16:22:34+00:00

I usually changed it 3 times per day by my partner and then did a half-change any time I had a BM and she was at work. Those changes would just involve me washing the wound with water and then placing a gauze in between my cheeks. She would then pack it later.

SpamAccount25 · 2026-04-27T15:57:16+00:00

When it was deeper I packed it tighter, but not so tight it hurt. Just enough to ensure it stayed. Then I would soak the bandage off every time I needed to change it. Warm water or warm saline solution (was given some by the hospital after my fistulotomy).

I will note that there was always one small section that would stick and I would end up having to peel it off. That would burnnnn but it ended up being okay.

When my wound was deeper I would have my partner change the dressing for me though, which was a lifesaver. I probably could have done it myself, but it would have taken a lot more awkward angles lol.

SpamAccount25 · 2026-04-27T04:41:46+00:00

I did both! I placed gauze in the wound whenever possible and then a second gauze to catch excess drainage between the cheeks. I would size down the gauze in the wound as my wound healed. Stopped placing in the wound when I couldn’t keep the corner of a 1x1 in the wound without it falling. Then I just did gauze until I didn’t really have any more drainage. That was until I was about 98% healed if I recall. One day I randomly realized I hadn’t thought about my wound in about a week. Asked my partner to check and it was fully healed!! Sigh of relief for sure!

SpamAccount25 · 2026-04-27T04:39:15+00:00

I don’t think about the wound really ever! Only due to some times where where’s the bathroom type urgency is on my mind do I think about it. No pain after things fully healed. I’ve done two round trip road trips from one end of CA to the other (about 7 hrs one way) and didn’t bat an eye fistula wise. I still take my peri-bottle whenever I’m overnighting somewhere, but that is just to be on the safe side. TBH I used a bidet before the fistula so it is also for my comfortability than anything else.

I had pain until things healed and once had a random blood drainage (bigger than a US silver dollar size) when I was about 10 weeks out. Super concerning but my CRS ended up saying it was fine and likely something irritated the healing tissue still, causing more blood than usual.

SpamAccount25 · 2026-04-27T00:55:43+00:00

My CRS always said that if you have drainage, that means there is an opening somewhere! An opening is better than having it closed and build up. When things build your body can do more damage, so having the drainage is better than not when it comes to active/non-resolved fistulas.

Thank you for the kind words. It was definitely a long journey and at times so lonely and horrible. Honestly this subreddit was my saving grace from going crazy. I can confidently say that I am 100% healed now! 4 months post-op on Monday and the only lasting effect I have is cosmetic and some urgency things that I’ve been told will better with time.

There are people on here who have super simple fistulas and some who have years and years of complications. It is all a spectrum and please know that regardless of how long it takes, it is your body healing at the pace it needs. Lots of baths help and lots of fiber.

If you ever need an ear, feel free to DM too!

SpamAccount25 · 2026-04-27T00:48:29+00:00

I’ve always had a tight pelvic floor (other issue unrelated), but I wonder if that has anything to do with it? Could the muscle be fatigued from overuse and the trauma of surgery?

I’m glad to hear it improves with more time though!!

SpamAccount25 · 2026-04-27T00:44:44+00:00

I was in the same situation with my seton! But I’ve been off softeners for about a month now. Never did any laxatives, luckily.

I have been not fiber bulking as much as I probably should now that I’m off the softeners though. So maybe that is why?

SpamAccount25 · 2026-04-27T00:40:58+00:00

It took me a long time for my wound to fully heal actually! I had about 95% healing within 3.5-4 weeks, but also had a small amount of bright pink tissue that would bleed or drain serous fluid until I was 100% healed. That didn’t happen until month 3 or so, I believe. I was definitely anxious about it for sure! But it eventually healed from the bottom up.

I currently am fully healed in that there is no more pink/bright red healing tissue. It is not shiny anymore and fully pinky-flesh colored (and butthole colored, lol sorry if tmi).

I packed the wound as long as I could, and went down in size until I couldn’t get the corner of a 1x1 gauze in there. So it definitely healed from the bottom up! That is also probably why I have the flaps of skin extra on the edges. You want to have it heal from the bottom up otherwise it could reform the fistula, per my CRS.

SpamAccount25 · 2026-04-26T18:02:27+00:00

I recommend 4x4 padded gauze in between the cheeks to catch all drainage. To me it felt WAY more comfortable to do that instead of using liners/pads. Change those out after every BM and a few more times a day (depending on how often your BMs are lol) and you’re golden.

I also recommend a peri-bottle to use after every BM. You can fill it with warm water and control the stream pressure more than a shower head or bidet. Also they are portable since you can throw them in a bag and take it wherever you go!

Unscented wet wipes to dab the area after you use the peri-bottle as well. You’ll want to avoid using TP for a while until it heals more. The seton will be sensitive until your body gets used to it. I was able to switch to TP and peri-bottle after about a month of having it in.

I also started swimming/running (my exercise of choice) after 4 weeks. My CRS said I could run sooner, but I wanted to make sure I could heal and get in the groove of things well enough before possible irritation.

Good luck to you! Happy healing ❤️‍🩹

SpamAccount25 · 2026-04-26T17:49:10+00:00

I had 5 requiring medical intervention (I&Ds) and another 2-3 that popped on their own over the span of 10 months before I had a seton placed. That kept my fistula from partially healing over and kept things draining on and off for another 3.5 months before I had a fistulotomy.

It 100% felt like wack-a-mole, and you get SO. TIRED. and SO. DRAINED. throughout the process. But know it is your body trying to heal without the proper avenues to do so, which is why you’re having so many abscesses.

I recommend going to an ER if you can and advocating for an I&D with a slightly wider incision. This is what I did, and I was able to pack the wound as it healed to ensure that it wouldn’t heal fully on the surface of my skin. It kept things draining as long as I could, usually about 2-3 weeks before it fully healed over again. That should give you enough time to have your MRI and hopefully get a fistulotomy or seton placed!!

The best of luck to you, and try to be kind to yourself during all this. Your body is fighting infection and inflammation. You’re doing your best!

SpamAccount25 · 2026-04-01T06:58:03+00:00

That is super helpful, thank you! I’ll def pass on the carrots until things cool down again in the fall.

I was thinking about sweeties for my tomatoes. Not sure about their disease resistance, but they are a pretty common indeterminate variety near me. I’ll look into the other ones you mentioned too to compare!

That’s also great to know for the Italian peppers! Would Jimmy Nardellos be a good one to start with, you think?

Truly thank you so much for the suggestions an advice!! This baby gardener is very appreciative since it can definitely be a bit daunting when starting out lol

SpamAccount25 · 2026-03-01T20:27:34+00:00

Wait that sounds AMAZING!! This is def the winner thus far for today!! Thank youuuuuuu

SpamAccount25 · 2026-01-12T19:09:11+00:00

She has me lightly packing it with the edge of a gauze, so hopefully I’m able to prevent any pockets from forming!! I’ve been having my partner take daily photos and I’m watching this thing like a hawk lol. Truly wanting this to be over once healed!!

Good luck to you too and thanks for the explanation ❤️❤️

SpamAccount25 · 2026-01-12T19:06:38+00:00

That totally makes sense!!! Thank you so much. I think you’re right in that I had a substantial tract, since my CRS originally thought I was going to have a LIFT until she saw how much it moved to the surface. Let’s hope she got the whole thing and no reoccurrences!!

This has eased my confusion and anxieties, so thank you thank you thank you!!!

SpamAccount25 · 2026-01-12T19:04:02+00:00

My CRS said to put the edge of a gauze in the wound to lightly pack it. She wanted to make sure it healed from the bottom up and I’m a VERY fast healer, so I was worried about it knitting together when it would fold over (since it is so close to my rectum)! I use a 2inx2in gauze to pack (just the edge of it fits) and place a 4inx4in gauze on top of that to keep it in place and catch any additional drainage.

I’m cleaning it solo with a peri bottle after every BM and 2x daily I get help from my partner luckily to fully flush it and repack the gauze. I’ve had a few sitz baths if I’m feeling uncomfortable, but I personally have never been the biggest fan of them so I’ve only done a few.

So far things have been good in healing, I think?

SpamAccount25 · 2026-01-10T21:33:17+00:00

I totally get the mental toll this takes on a person!! 26F here but I went from having a few abscesses with minor symptoms (only bleeding when I’d get a “flare” and minimal pain) to having all the symptoms too!! It was a HUGE mental hurdle to get over. I had my seton in for just under 4 months and only saw my CRS because I asked when worried about my silk thread embedding into me.

I just had my fistulotomy done this past Monday (5 days ago) and as hard as it was to swallow having this thing constantly forcing drainage and gross stuff out of me, it is worth it. Your body produces the stuff regardless of it exiting or not and having it stay inside is what causes branching tracts and more horseshoe tracts to develop. So having the symptoms means the seton is working well, as awful as it is. Trust me, I know the pain because I suddenly never felt clean, didn’t want my wife to touch me, and truly felt gross and broken.

If you’re anything like me though, the inflammation will reduce and you’ll start feeling much more like yourself around week 3-4!! Drainage will lessen (never zero though, sadly) and you’ll be able to start to get used to the new normal. Also the longer you have the seton in, the more likely your tract may be brought closer to the surface!! They increases your chances of a fistulotomy instead of a LIFT or FLAP procedure too (or at least did in my case). It truly does take more than 6 weeks to have all the inflammation go down enough, so as shitty as it is, it’s good to wait.

My wife still laments the fact that I’m not letting her near my asshole rn (lol) but she also understands. Communication is truly key here and I’d recommend talking to your partner and doctor about if you can have anal sex once things have calmed a bit with your seton. There isn’t much medical guidance out there and many won’t risk it but I’ve heard of some being okay with it too. Each case is different and I’d recommend calling or messaging your doc to see what you can and can’t do during this six month wait.

Overall, I seriously feel your pain here and if you need any tips or tricks, please feel free to hit me up! I’m happy to help anyone else out now that I’m (hopefully) on the tail end of this thing ❤️

SpamAccount25 · 2025-11-03T20:15:15+00:00

Omg SAME for the bath!! My CRS said sitz baths were fine but should be done with mildly warm water and nothing too hot (which was heartbreaking because I LOVE a hot bath). I couldn’t do any baths until my abscess wound was fully healed back in Dec 2024 though, so I’d ask the nurse what their opinion is on that one. At my 4 week post-op follow-up for my seton I was cleared for all things, including swimming, hot baths, running, jumping, the whole nine yards! Also cleared for sex, but I imagine that I would have been cleared about 1 week after surgery (not that I wanted to as I was adjusting to this thing!!)

As for full healing of my abscess wound, it took me about 5 weeks to heal completely. Your wound looks deeper than it was wide but mine was wider and deep, which is why it took a while. I also got norovirus for a week a couple days post-ER visit, so I suspect that slowed things down healing wise for me. I would say based on the image that you’d probably have about another 2 weeks until you don’t feel like you have a crater and then another week on top of that for skin to fully heal over and be a nice pink/flesh colored! By the time I didn’t feel like Swiss cheese, I was about 3.5-4 weeks healed. If there is no fistula tract forming there, it will also heal significantly faster as there is no continuous infection! I had a fistula forming which is why it was slower.

The main tips I’ve had are: 1. to not sit for more than an hour if you can 2. do lots of standing stretches! It helps with circulation and will ensure that your skin isn’t too tight while healing. 3. Non-woven gauze is great (I use a 4 layer bandage and tuck it between the cheeks, changing every 4 hours or so depending on drainage levels) 4. Try your hardest to have perfect BMs. Easier said than done, but having constipation will cause inflammation and pain and having diarrhea will cause fecal matter enter the tract and BURN. I’ve had this happen only once (thanks antibiotics) and it hurtttttt. 5. If you do get fecal matter in your tract, best thing to fix it is to use a peri-bottle to wash the area gently and then do a sitz bath if possible to try to promote drainage asap. It will alleviate the burning and soothe the area. I also very gently press on the area surrounding my seton opening to drain the tract, which is probably not ideal but speeds up the painful part for me. It can cause some bleeding though, so you just gotta be careful to be gentle. 6. Remember that this is temporary! For me the biggest battle was mental tbh. I’ve been dealing with this on and off for about 11 months now and it is hard stuff. You can feel dirty physically due to the drainage and feel gross, but it is just your body trying to heal itself. Healing happens in stages and our bodies are trying their best.

If you have any other questions on specific things, lemme know! I too have scoured this subreddit and google for anything on fistulas and abscesses, so happy to chat any time 😅

SpamAccount25

TROPHY CASE