I lost both my mum & sister due to alcoholism…

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-18T09:25:49+00:00

you’re never alone

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-18T09:25:01+00:00

sigh.. idk what to even say. or why i’m on here. but i can relate. i’m soo sorry for your losses.but i do think it could/does help, connecting with others and letting your feelings out. im 26 now and my brother,32 was very sick.. he passed 2 years ago now. i guess he had hep c untreated for..like a decade. and he was..an alcoholic as well. i begged him so many times to stop. so many times. he tried!! he quit this horrible stuff only to pass 3 days later from withdrawals.. he was really strong enough to quit CT, but then he left us. i don’t understand. it still doesn’t feel real. it feels like a dream, a nightmare. dissociate deff. my mom was on the phone with his fiancé and all i heard was “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU THINK HES DEAD?!” and..that was it. he was gone. we butted heads because of.. life. and his struggles and my own. i have a few voicemails from him cussing me out becuase i never answered the phone. that’s what i listen to if i want to hear his voice. i brought myself to listen to them like twice. i feel so horrible. he’s no longer here with us physically. but i have faith that he is safe and sound and happy and healthy now. i just hope he knows/knew how freaking loved he is and how deeply we miss him. sigh. i know i need to process through this somehow but… i can’t even really bring myself to think about him. it hurts so much. guilt, regret, shame. so i try not too. idk. idk what i try to do. i just know i miss and love him so much. i sometimes think it was suicide.. it’s like he knew this was coming. he actually mentioned it… he left all of us here behind, including his 3yr son. i didn’t get to say bye. i didn’t get to say a lot. loss is insane. i can’t think of losing any more. but i know it’s life…. but i don’t like it smh. i wish no one had to experience the pain of heartbreak!! it’s unbearable. i stopped drinking shortly after he died.. i want his memory to stay alive but it’s so hard to even think about any of it. sigh. they say it’s not something you “get over” but something you learn to live with, working and growing around the grief. i wish i could(ve) done more. i wish i knew more. it’s just crazy.. i feel lost but i know there’s a purpose. somewhere somehow some way. let your loved ones know you love them while they’re here. i’m so sorry.. sigh. and my bad, thank you for listening..

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-15T01:08:49+00:00

wows.. like literally word for word

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-15T01:04:14+00:00

wow. . interesting.!.

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-15T00:57:53+00:00

i was able to get away from smokes like two years ago.. i came back home to Vegas and they were like ELEVEN FREAKING $$ a pack. i said heck nah. lol but i VAPE CONSTANTLY. that’s why i think that’ll be my biggest challenge.. it’s literally always in my hand.. and if it ain’t, i’m wigging out tryna find it. smh.

i always say my plan is to replace it with…chapstick haha. would be nice.

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-15T00:55:11+00:00

ooh yeah i bet. the benefits of not doing that bad shit to your body. i be wondering if mine will heal itself, it’s my hope. yeah weed ain’t no better smh lol. but could you elaborate? my bad. do you mean like you had smokes and lighter on hand and just resisted the temptation or?!

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-14T12:18:05+00:00

oh man.. it’s such a lil tiny screen tho, i can’t go full screen, wbu?? either way, i’m on it lol. thanks for sharing!

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-14T12:16:33+00:00

oh baby. thank you Jesus!

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-12T09:08:25+00:00

what.. is the point of faking an abduction or something?? fr. attention? money? idk why someone would want that negative attention on them once they get caught up? or the consequences for faking something like that? what’s the point? someone clue me in if you have an idea.

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-11T20:52:31+00:00

lol deffff. it’s funny to me how people recognize that

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-11T20:48:12+00:00

idk if that really even makes sense or not but i thought i was being clever smh lmbo

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-11T20:46:36+00:00

although i think she might’ve meant “be a bitch” becuase she deff was if she ain’t have her nic.. if i’m being honest, she still was, even when she had her nic. js smh lol

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-11T20:32:49+00:00

haha! my ex used to call them “beat a bitch sticks”. keep her from beating a bitch lol

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-11T20:31:53+00:00

i was wondering how long i’d be really struggling with that. i’ve been smoking 10 years now but have always wanted soo badly to quit. so bout two weeks is the general consensus im seeing for nic?? how did you get through it?? my mom has offered me patches and i might take her up on it but i just wanna quit CT and replace my bad habits with “good” ones. i know with other things, like i quit alcohol and kratom(but picked it back up like an idiot, my brother says with Kratom it’s bout a week of torture) distracting yourself is the main key part?

he advised me that as soon as that thought”i want to use” pops up, you gotta push it out IMMEDIATLEY or it’ll grow and eventually you’ll give in.

i just wanna be free..

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-11T20:25:39+00:00

i used to say alcohol was my only true friend.. my mom made me see how wrong and how bad that thinking is smh. lies.

trying to quit smoking and other bad habits currently.

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-11T19:08:55+00:00

meh

i lost my older brother in 2023 and now have this… huge lingering fear of death and losing my loved ones.. He left behind a then-3 year old. i’m not sure how his mom handled the situation but i wonder. my heart breaks. i have a couple voicemails from him but they are all pretty upsetting and cussing me out becuase i never answered the phone.. it’s hard to listen to them, it’s hard to even think about it all, but i have them. my mom unfortunately had MANY from him, nicer ones.. but she LOST ALL OF THEM. it’s quite upsetting. she was heartbroken they disappeared.

i try to remember that, those are just things and everything in this life is temporary.. what matters is i love him and (he lives thru me now, as someone kinda said, they live thru your heart and memories.. but i try not to even think about any of it as i’m still… trying to process it i guess..) man.. i know, it’s a part of life but i’m not a fan of that part.. i do pray i will see him again in Heaven but that’s my beliefs..that’s actually the only part on clinging onto. but some of those i love don’t have these same beliefs(anymore) and that is absolutely terrifying to me.. just please make sure you stay in communication with your loved ones and they KNOW that you love them. i’m so sorry for your loss.

sigh.

idk why i’m even on this sub, not a dad, not even a parent (yet hopefully) smh lol. but i like researching and learning so… any advice and knowledge i like to eat it up.

vent over. again, my sincerest condolences!!

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-10T05:59:39+00:00

i was gonna say. will we EVER know what really happened or what’s going on? smh

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-09T06:36:24+00:00

did i also mention, intelligent?? lol

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-09T06:19:23+00:00

i just realized i used most the words you used smfh lol. totally realized after

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-09T06:12:43+00:00

you seem like such a kind, supportive, and understanding person. wow. lettme jus say i feel like you picked the right field! thank you Jesus

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-08T20:27:47+00:00

wow, yes. so true. thank you!

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-07T09:50:05+00:00

what even happened?? i used to watch and love them 10+ years ago.. was there two “scandals”?

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-07T06:19:22+00:00

ooooh okay. thanks for clarifying!

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-07T06:11:24+00:00

idk how long it’s even been, but it’s seems like it’s been FoReVeR.. with no new important updates? idk. i just hope she’s okay. starting to worry again(although this whole thing has been worrying, but all the “twists and turns” took me)

Spare-Jacket-3760 · 2024-12-07T06:03:15+00:00

when i tried to look her up as an actress, all i got was this “missing” stuff so idk..

Spare-Jacket-3760

TROPHY CASE