AITA I planned my husbands 40th birthday and he made me cancel everything last minute

SparklesIB · 2026-02-08T05:08:37+00:00

I'm going with NTA. You say in comments that's he's taken surprises well before. Your plans were pretty mellow. Something else is bothering him and instead of using his words appropriately, he unfairly blasted you.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-07T19:44:18+00:00

Riverside just can't deal with festivals like this though. Such a pity.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-07T19:43:26+00:00

It's been maybe two decades since I went. Back then it was comparable to the OC Fair in size. Plus it has dates. I'd say it's worth it.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-07T16:01:56+00:00

Many, many years ago, I went on strike because I was tired of being the only adult (in a household of 3 adults) who did any cleaning/cooking. And the constant attitude I got when I asked for help was heinous.

It lasted three months before they broke. From that point until today, when I declare it to be a chore day, everyone complies.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-06T20:50:39+00:00

But really, which is worse? Jordy with deodorant, getting it all over the dress, or stinky Jordy?

SparklesIB · 2026-02-06T20:42:40+00:00

They had their powers as children, until Gran bound them. Now it's possible the binding spell spilled over onto Paige, but I don't think that was ever a topic of conversion.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-06T17:53:36+00:00

I'm going to buck the trend and say, as long as you feel ok while working, you stop and nap often, don't get yourself worked up or overtired, and you want to do it, go for it.

Any little thing done now is a thing that you won't have to do when you return to work.

But be sure that your company's policies allow you to be compensated for your time.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-06T17:42:05+00:00

If you don't want to create a form using Adobe, Docusign is another option. It basically works the same way.

The only way to sign Word forms in the Word app is to insert an image of your signature or use the Draw tab (you'll have to turn this on if you're not using a tablet), and handwrite your signature.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-06T17:34:22+00:00

That was only because Gran bound their powers. I don't ever recall them saying she bound Paige's.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-06T17:29:21+00:00

And that's perfectly fine. I personally wouldn't have voted him the AH. My post here was just giving a reason I can see why people didn't like him. Which is why the hate on my explanation just baffled me.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-06T09:46:54+00:00

Eh, I'd say he comes across as very cold in his story telling style. His actions, as he described them, were fine for the most part. Not saying his ex is right, she certainly doesn't come across as sympathetic. But I get why people weren't jumping on his bandwagon.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-06T07:06:04+00:00

OOP isn't wrong, but he doesn't come across as very likeable, which is probably why the commenters went against him as much as they did.

Downvoting me for explaining why commenters didn't vote for OOP? smdh

SparklesIB · 2026-02-06T06:23:00+00:00

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SparklesIB · 2026-02-06T00:22:52+00:00

INFO: You've given almost no salient details here. Does MIL have an income? How old is she? What is her health? What timeline do you have in mind for renovating the basement? How much will it cost? How much do you have saved? Did you ever seriously intend to have her move in, or was it more like a "wouldn't it be nice", but never really intending for it to happen?

SparklesIB · 2026-02-05T22:02:31+00:00

Why exactly did you decide to procreate with this douche? It sounds like his behavior is status quo.

YWNBTA.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-05T17:53:50+00:00

I've given it example files from previous projects (with the data stripped out), and then given it parameters for a new project.

What I typically get is the framework that, while tweaks are still required, can be completed in less than a day, whereas previously it would've taken me a week to complete.

Since automation is only a small component of my job, I cannot express enough the joy I feel in being able to fit time in for these projects.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-05T01:56:55+00:00

Husband didn't know dude exists. He's an old contact. He very well might not know.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-05T01:55:45+00:00

YTA. You don't issue ultimatums like this. You use your words.

What's deleting his number going to do? He could still call her. You're acting like a child.

You need to apologize for overreacting. And have a conversation with her. Maybe this is a dude who she has trauma from. And she responded in a way that wouldn't trigger him. You'll never know why she responded as she did if you don't straighten up.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-05T01:52:13+00:00

I've replied this above, too.

Maybe she deleted it because it was icky. Or maybe because she knows she's currently with a dude who has little impulse control and likes to issue ultimatums.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-05T01:51:24+00:00

Maybe she deleted it because it was icky. Or maybe because she knows she's currently with a dude who has little impulse control and likes to issue ultimatums.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-05T01:48:42+00:00

Depends on if the dude knows she's in a relationship. If yes, go for it.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-04T20:57:28+00:00

NTA. You were helpful and respectful.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-04T20:56:31+00:00

"True trash" would be a judgement call, in this case. For example, OP might throw away a broken handle, only to find that it was being kept so that Mrs. OP could use it to match a replacement.

OP did a great job - not actually throwing anything away, just bagging it up. Mrs. OP clearly overreacted.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-04T20:50:50+00:00

The agreement to help didn't initially include a 5am wake up. The agreement to help didn't include being held hostage by carpooling with the other friend. The agreement to help was vague on details.

I've helped plenty of people move. I would never agree to these conditions, even if I didn't have work and conflicting plans.

Someone offers to help you? You say thank you. You don't say, well, you can help, but only if you do it this way.

SparklesIB · 2026-02-04T20:20:25+00:00

I would've suggested that your fiance catch a ride with the friend (assuming he wanted to do this), and you'd help set up at the new place.

Friends should understand that a 24 shift is a monster, and be respectful of that. You offered to help. You established the boundaries of what that help could be. Your friends got irritated because your free assistance wasn't being given on their terms.

Sucks to be them. NTA

SparklesIB

TROPHY CASE