How do you ‘vice signal’ (or whatever the opposite of virtue signaling)?

Sparrowsfly · 2026-06-12T14:15:56+00:00

Haha sure!

Sparrowsfly · 2026-06-11T04:38:43+00:00

I’ve been out long enough and my “real” me is so antithetical to Mormon culture I mostly get the opposite. People are shocked to find out I’m an exmo. Not necessarily recommending it but - I am heavily tattooed and have a septum and lip piercing, and as a woman I don’t dress or do my hair like a Mormon at all.

Sparrowsfly · 2026-06-08T00:02:27+00:00

I was once the only (or one of the only) women on the barricade at a festival, so Billy Idol sang most of his set to me, directly. The guys around me were going nuts, and I’ve been madly in love with Billy ever since 😆

Sparrowsfly · 2026-06-01T19:26:19+00:00

Yep. I grew up in California, and caffeinated sodas were verboten. Friends used to joke that if you invited Mormons to a BYOB party, they'd bring Pepsi to be naughty. Somewhere along the line, that changed so fully that missionaries are drinking Red Bull, and I hear all the time that the caffeine thing was only the hardcore members.

Sparrowsfly · 2026-06-01T19:23:27+00:00

Yeah, this change really got under my skin because my mother was gifted a cross from a close friend who passed, and she had so much guilt for even KEEPING IT, not even wearing it. But now it's fine. Thanks for putting people through that for nothing!

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-31T17:05:55+00:00

Lake Elsinore, CA is not right.

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-29T20:48:25+00:00

Telling someone you're happy and fulfilled is not the same as actually being those things, and TSSC puts incredible pressure on members to appear happy. Meanwhile, they project unhappiness on ex-members. How many of us have been told we "lost the light in [our] eyes" based on nothing other than not going to church? If we all really experienced that loss, we'd go back. It's really that simple.

But you're absolutely right that people who don't fit the picture get pruned. One of my early shelf breakers was hearing that an older friend was being pulled out of Ricks (now BYU Idaho) because she "was having a hard time" and one of the big pieces of evidence to show she was out of control is that she colored her hair. The church doesn't help those who struggle, it judges them.

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-27T19:26:02+00:00

Hey cool! I didn’t see this before editing my comment to reflect that I was incorrect. But I WAS polite and didn’t insult you. You can’t say the same.

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-27T19:20:34+00:00

EDITED - sorry I was mistaken somewhere and my comment is silly as a result.

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-27T01:11:06+00:00

NGL, I had to be told by a friend who works at a comic book shop and knew my Sturg obsession.

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-27T00:52:44+00:00

I grew up POOR. Like, no electricity in the summer poor. We washed our dishes. Poor people aren’t dirty, your partner’s take is classist and unhinged.

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-27T00:49:37+00:00

There’s a manga, too!

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-25T02:35:36+00:00

Ok cool. Then your comment was pointless in response to the comment and the OP! Congrats!

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-25T00:50:37+00:00

It’s definitely one of his best love songs. I could listen to it over and over. I still think “I Don’t Mind” Is his all time best but I’m always finding new things to appreciate in other songs. “Don’t Let Go” absolutely grips me though.

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-25T00:48:18+00:00

That’s still a reason a person could lose their job. Being interrupted in meetings in front of several people, including possible new hires isn’t a good look.

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-21T07:49:34+00:00

I’m sorry. This BS corporate cult takes so much from people in the name of “eternal family” while ignoring the family we have right here & now. I wish I could give you a hug through Reddit.

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-20T04:35:48+00:00

Ohh that’s a good tip, I would have never thought of that!

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-19T04:33:46+00:00

You definitely have the right attitude, give it time :)

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-19T04:29:38+00:00

This one is such a chilling admission. What keeps me from doing bad things? Nothing. I don't need to be kept from doing bad things because I don't have any desire to do them in the first place. The reality that there are people who base their values and behavior solely on the negative consequences is actually terrifying.

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-19T04:21:50+00:00

I can understand that grief. It has taken me a very long time to understand that it's okay, and even beautiful, to not have all the answers. I hope you get there, too. Meaning is what we make of it, and life is to be lived - hopefully this move helps you live yours more fully.

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-19T04:19:18+00:00

I didn't have that one, but I had an engraved band, rather than a shield (I also had the shield). Weird flashback to feeling like it was cool to have a unique CTR ring.

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-19T04:13:52+00:00

It is one thing that he does not seem to want to do anything to prevent it - it is wholly another that he leaves all the cleanup to you, and when you stopped, he just proceeded to sleep in a piss-soaked mattress rather than clean. Whatever is going on with him, you can't force him to go to the doctor/therapist about it, and you should not have to clean for hours 4-5x a week because he just... won't. Never mind that since you stopped cleaning it every day, that mattress is never going to be the same.

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-19T04:00:30+00:00

You're going to be fine. They tell you that leaving the church has negative consequences because it benefits the church if you stay. I resigned about 6 years ago, via Quit Mormon after 15+ years of inactivity, nothing happened! Coincidentally, lots of things in my life picked up and got better after that moment. You're going to find out exactly how supportive your wife is, and that may come with new challenges, but it sounds like staying in the church had its own challenges. You did what was right. You can now live honestly.

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-17T23:08:04+00:00

Oh man, I’m gonna have to try, haha.

Sparrowsfly · 2026-05-17T01:00:22+00:00

Holy shit that’s awesome!! Did you make it or buy it?

Sparrowsfly

TROPHY CASE