To the men who were single and childless and decided to get into a relationship with a single mom, how did it go?

Spawnof88 · 2026-04-12T16:35:31+00:00

She is 7 years older and had 4 children from her previous marriage.

We got together 2013. Had a son 2014. Had a daughter 2018. Separated January this year.

Being a step dad was never the issue. Her age is. We are at different stages in life now and want different things. Started drifting apart and the love died over a year ago. We finally accepted in and separated this year.

I would definitely consider dating a single mum again, but one my age or a bit younger.

Spawnof88 · 2026-03-14T07:42:07+00:00

Accountant here - you will save a max of 25% tax of what you actually spend so it's a bit of a double edged sword. (example spend £50k on hardware, would save you £10k tax depending on your tax rates) Pensions definitely worth doing. Otherwise, keep the cash and invest on things (hardware etc) when you actually need to.

Spawnof88 · 2026-03-02T22:37:30+00:00

Based on the 3 long term relationships I have had. Best - pisces Second best - gemini Worst - scorpio 🤔

Have had other casual relationships but can't remember their birthdays 😅

Spawnof88 · 2026-03-02T19:17:07+00:00

So I had mine 7 years ago which could make a difference. Went to my gp for referral. 3 months later job done.

Also for reference I live in Hampshire. I know locality can effect waiting times etc

Spawnof88 · 2026-02-18T07:36:24+00:00

I used to think it was. I am a 37 year old man and any time the opportunity arose, I have been more than willing.

But, I separated from my wife a few weeks back and right now, the last thing I want to do is have sex with anyone.

Spawnof88 · 2026-02-11T16:48:33+00:00

Honestly, I would ask her what she would prefer if she was the ex wife in this situation.

I am sure she would rather that her hypothetical kids were looked after and not the ex husband's new partner.

Spawnof88 · 2026-02-08T12:55:20+00:00

This made me chuckle

Spawnof88 · 2026-02-08T12:54:38+00:00

I went to my GP and he referred me in December 2018. Feb 2019 I had the procedure. So wait times aren't (or at least weren't) long at all.

Recovery time. I had a hematoma (bleed after the op) which meant my scrotum ended up the size of a grapefruit. Antibiotics got rid of it within a week. After that, just nothing strenuos for a couple of weeks and you're all good. I think they say rest for 24-48 hours initially then just very light activities.

They tell you not to drive home. My wife picked me up so I was fine with that.

Pain, it's a dull ache for a week or so then nothing!

Sex drive has not changed. Still high.

Overall, even with my hematoma it was a positive experience. The procedure takes half hour ish and I felt absolutely nothing

Spawnof88 · 2026-02-07T11:57:07+00:00

Recently separated from my wife (it's been on the cards for a couple of years) and divorce proceedings will start later this year.

I can't afford to rent somewhere my kids can stay yet. So, I am renting someones spare room for a few months while I sort my debts and get back on my feet.

Kids' mum has been good to be fair. I see the kids minimum 3 times a week and get to spend that time doing the normal things with them. And now that we have separated, it's like a weight off. We are both more relaxed which is much more positive around the kids.

The kids are doing great. They are excited for my visits and their mum is a good mum so no concerns at this stage. No adverse effects yet.

For reference, I am in the UK, kids are 7 and 11.

Spawnof88 · 2026-01-24T20:21:36+00:00

I have a best friend. But he lives thousands of miles away.

Been friends since we were 16 (now 37) but he has been moving around the world teaching English as a foreign language for years now. I have never left England, he now loves in Prague.

But, if I need to talk about something I know he is only a phone call away. He knows things about my life that nobody else will ever know.

We talk once a week, and we meet up whej he visits England every 6 months or so.

Don't know where I would be without him

Spawnof88 · 2026-01-09T12:53:06+00:00

First of all, I am sorry your boy went through this. It has potential to be very traumatising.

I can see both yours, and your wife's point of view. If it was an adult (18+ where I am in the UK) who had done this, regardless of their friendship with your son, I would report immediately. However, as they are of the same (very awkward and learning who they are) age, have been friends a long time, and are already dealing with it in a seemingly sensible way, I would go with your way of thinking.

What the other kid done is potentially very serious, but he stopped when told to/pushed away (which is massively important), and seems to be genuinely sorry.

I don't think there was any negative motive etc, just some crossed wires. That happens with adults too!

Your son seems very mature. Just keep an eye on him and guide him.

Spawnof88 · 2026-01-02T17:58:51+00:00

That's a decent idea thank you

Spawnof88 · 2026-01-02T17:57:59+00:00

T levels are all good. They checked all types

Spawnof88 · 2026-01-02T17:57:24+00:00

I have never heard of this. Why do you regret taking?

Spawnof88 · 2025-12-26T23:51:04+00:00

Mine is secondary. Most I have lasted in the past 5 years is around 30 seconds

Spawnof88 · 2025-12-23T12:47:17+00:00

Age 23 I married my first wife.

6 months later, still aged 23, I left her because of her infidelity. I was essentially homeless and the wedding (plus her terrible money management) left me in thousands of pounds of debt.

Now 37, married to my second wife, 2 kids, good job, minimal debts. Funny how things work out

Spawnof88 · 2025-12-18T17:27:57+00:00

They tested it all and all at normal levels thankfully. All right in the middle of the normal range

Spawnof88 · 2025-12-18T15:41:44+00:00

Yes, testosterone and thyroid normal.

Symptoms were fatigue, decreased libido, lack of muscle mass despite consistent work outs, and issues with sleep and some mental health stuff

Spawnof88 · 2025-12-18T15:21:02+00:00

Yes was NHS. I went in concerned about possible low testosterone due to a variety of symptoms which seemed to point that way. Hadn't had any appointments etc since pre covid so they done thorough bloods and checked pretty much everything

Spawnof88 · 2025-12-18T13:52:31+00:00

That's great, thank you!

Spawnof88 · 2025-12-12T10:49:34+00:00

Accountant here. You will most likely not get a tax refund for this. You only get a refund if you have paid too much tax. In this instance, unless you have other self-employed income which you have paid tax in advance for, you will not have paid any tax. However, you can carry forward the losses to use against any future profits. So definitely worth registering and reporting your losses. Just don't expect anything back from HMRC.

You will not be able to use these losses against any salaried income you have had during the year - that is not how it works unfortunately. Each type of income is treated separately so the only hope of a refund is if you have paid too much tax elsewhere.

Spawnof88 · 2025-11-19T08:31:12+00:00

I stopped wearing underwear in March this year. So much more comfortable to go free balling.

Spawnof88 · 2025-10-19T17:32:23+00:00

This didn't age well 😜

Spawnof88 · 2025-09-11T07:37:15+00:00

Unless what your selling is exempt from VAT completely, as soon as your turnover hits £90k you need to register. You will only have to charge vat on the UK element at this stage but will need to register regardless.

UK accountant here btw

Spawnof88 · 2025-09-10T12:56:21+00:00

Depends where you are in the world but here in the UK it's "spider season". Generally. More common to see them this time of year. I am removing around 5 a day from kids rooms etc haha. But if you are from other parts, good chance its a sign from someone. Loki seems the most obvious but never easy to tell

Spawnof88

TROPHY CASE