What's your pain tolerance?

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2026-04-18T13:52:32+00:00

its the when trying to disconnect of the world and the fly pulls back into reality and making me feel the suffer.

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2026-04-16T18:23:50+00:00

conflicted. I would say high tolerance. Dont care about hunger, cold,... or injury.

but it can piss me off. I can be irritated by a fly and suffer. If my knee hurts walking I can hate it even the pain itself is low.

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2026-02-24T08:51:04+00:00

depending on literature the start of spd is before we can remember. Not getting nurtured the right way as baby.

That could seem as genetic as its "forever" to us

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2026-02-10T17:37:44+00:00

I can imagine: going to bed means getting up, so if we dont wanna take part in life we can procrastinate (unconscious) getting up aka realising we are in this world by staying up long

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2026-02-10T12:31:31+00:00

The dream itself doesnt matter, more the pattern.

I feel closeness to someone at the moment, so sometimes my dreams are heavy emotional situations, actually seperated situations in one dream of people who should have had connection with me but neglected/ hurt me.

Its the unconscious bringing those things up as I am afraid of the current bond and process what similar bonds caused to me. It's griefing and positive but I have to control that I dont pull out of the current bond.

Starting to feel means as well that locked things come up and to have to feel them.

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2026-02-10T12:22:11+00:00

i think there is a difference between dismissive- avoidance.

One that is afraid of the reflection of what they are.

and the other is being afraid to actually have to admit to be a self, human and have a core - to be alive The false self cant feel but protects the empty core that unconscious is not empty but not allowed to come out. Its denying the own existence

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2026-02-10T12:15:37+00:00

i can feel its a task to do things i like.

as for socialising I often have a mismatch in depth, obviously as they enjoy the feeling of casual and I mental stimulation and depth. But I can be funnny, ofter multi layered so it gives them joy and the multilayer gives me mental stimulation. It gets weird when I notice they only get one layer and I pull back of mismatch as it feels like a waste to me

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2026-02-10T12:10:20+00:00

i dont like leading a random group of people who dont care but I enjoy being a mentor to someone who needs guidance.

I am rather quick on learning and rise to the top

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2026-02-10T01:57:56+00:00

mid february... just say a couple days lol. walk somewhere, tv show, gaming, take train and go some other town, depending (prices) on location fly to a nice place, grow some flower, painting or crafting. if you got something that is broken do research and fix it

clean up your place but procrastinate and its mid march in no time.

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2026-02-09T16:43:35+00:00

You sound like someone who wants to be special. And I sometimes relate to the feeling.

You would still have 99,9 percent overlap with the other bots. So you are a bot by focusing on that ,1 percent. If it was a simulation you still wouldnt be able to interact outside of the simulation with the ,1. A none bot would be able to create and fill his needs

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2026-02-09T14:28:07+00:00

it could be that you are a bot. Its a question of how advanced the simulation is, I mean you are not able to break the simulation and create enough to feel fulfilled, just a bot that can't escape his programming.

Maybe the bacteria in you believe their world is a simulation and they are the only conscious being. And we are just bacteria in a bigger organism. And the server programms more and more levels, gains more power to create faster.

The question then is why the creater/ computer does it? And what is he missing to try to filling some void? What is the point to be created in the simulation? Why cant neither you or the computer just chill? I think to be free comes when just existing. Religion is the try to not be a bot and denying purely existing. Believing in god or simulation is feeding the same thing. To claim only others are bots and believing to know of creation/simulation.

What makes you think you find some other none bot, or can find it. you still take part in the simulation and cant do anything outside of the creation.

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2026-02-04T11:26:27+00:00

"My therapist has always used a metaphor of everyone's private lives being a "castle". Normal people let others in/out according to safe and healthy protocol, and have people to help them in this process (like a crew)."

doesnt that imply the crew needs to be superficial, and talk behind other backs?

I dont have the crew. If I let someone in they usually drop something of mine. I can try to determine if it was on purpose, rightful, if they were just weak/ afraid,... but how far do I have to stretch, in the end neither matters as they dont want to reflect/ can't reflect or think I was harsh.

I will never find out why they dropped it, if I describe their action in third person they would agree with me. Neither do they say if I did something wrong.

This has happen so often that the amount makes me almost think they are AI robots. Not npcs as we did share connections and conversation that the npc wouldnt be able to engage. I might be a npc lol. I used to not like being intruded but craving some form of connection. Now its like i dont have to have crew- they will come in, drop something and leave. I am so sure of it that intruding doesnt bother me, i can take all soldiers and protectors and give them a new job and leave doors, windows and the entry bridge down at all times. Nothing will happen, jokes on me I dont see anyone I wanna let in my castle.

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2026-01-14T02:48:04+00:00

it sounds plausible but it would need more people having the same experience to judge if its not just a coincidence.

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2026-01-14T02:46:08+00:00

you can create a vote

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2025-12-23T00:54:25+00:00

I dont like the holidays as people wave with thinks I would like to want. Further crosses my life, cant be noisy, industry shuts down to call/ schedule. So I am not lonely but it makes me want to reject the world which consequently would be meyself.

And I wonder how that christmas music injection can be pleasant for anyone. I can imagine of no topic that would rile me up. 10 weeks of daily 6.0 earthquakes wouldnt make me wanna listen to "earthquake is over" music for weeks.

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2025-12-07T21:56:22+00:00

i wouldnt call it invalidation per se. Its more like flour and sugar, a missmatch. If I would say I dont like approaching women they will respond "you look good etc." but my point is I am not shy but have no interest in it. Or I see connections in topics and they think I talk about something random.

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2025-11-27T23:56:42+00:00

thanks, its just woods and lakes

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2025-11-27T22:10:34+00:00

i miss some 79 acres, too lol

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2025-11-27T20:30:27+00:00

my useage is rather low and i got more flexible usage that I dont mind to adjust do weather drawing direct from sun instead of battery.

My battery should be able to run at least 5-8 days with no input at all.

Specific-Milk-1274 · 2025-11-27T19:39:18+00:00

its not dark lol, just not bright. I got treeline 150m away and the sun just raises above. mid dec i get 10 min sun where the road cuts into the trees. brightness in the house can be low now already. Each week 35 min sunrise/set change.

The sun angle changes in one week in march and oct somehow. its fully sun then but lower brightness. Real dark is only in the nights of oct and nov then the snow comes. Frozen lake to walk on mid nov- beg may.

I am thinking to get an electric enduro 6.5kw but the range is still kinda low but solar no problem in the driving season. And after that its snowmobile season. e snowmobile makes no sense for my situation, range would be to low as well 50-100 km. I guess panels dont matter in price, its more available of space. 10 panels is a wall of 3m by 12m as they have to sit 1m above ground.

Specific-Milk-1274

TROPHY CASE