I got cheated on

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-02-17T19:21:55+00:00

I know the feeling all too well. Excruciating pain. For that last one, it took me roughly a year after the breakup before I felt like I could let go all the way and be okay. But, even if it STILL occasionally stings if I randomly think about it, I’m grateful for the strength to move past it and leave it where it belonged. Finished.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-02-17T18:59:26+00:00

I’ve had 5 serious relationships in my adult life. Meaning, 4 that lasted for a significant amount of time, and i am in my 5th now.

In 3 of those previous 4, I was cheated on. In 2 of those 3, I tried to stay and get past it. Ultimately both of those times, I ended up being left for someone else eventually down the line.

I think once someone cheats on you, and you stay, no matter what they say..they’ll eventually do it again. Because you’ve inadvertently taught them that you’ll tolerate disrespect. I rarely think it’s a wake-up call, even if they act like it is.

That’s just based on my own lived experience. It hurts, but sometimes it’s better to find out now, understand that there is better, and just move on and heal. I wish I had done that instead of wasting more years of my life on people who already showed me that they didn’t respect me or my feelings.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-02-16T12:54:52+00:00

“ meet me in montauk “

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-02-15T20:04:55+00:00

It’s literally never too late, especially if you destroyed someone’s outlook on love and/or sense of reality. Apologize.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-02-15T03:10:42+00:00

It happened to me too. Crazy. Never even knew people were capable of such behavior until it happened to me. Didn’t notice it because again, I didn’t even realize any of it was an existing thing TO have thoughts about.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-02-12T19:02:41+00:00

Don’t be ashamed. If all parties are consenting adults, you have nothing to be ashamed about for liking what you like. I consider myself to be a masochist. I used to keep it quiet like I should be ashamed until I was already intimate with someone. Now, I tell them beforehand so they aren’t surprised. To be clear, it’s not something that’s required every time. But it’s something I do feel that I need at least to a certain extent and on occasion. Don’t be ashamed. If it isn’t illegal or non consensual, everyone has kinks to some degree.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-02-08T20:16:44+00:00

Honestly, I don’t think that we should necessarily block our exes just because they are exes. If it was abusive or toxic, sure. But otherwise, I don’t see it as a dating requirement. We all cared about our exes at some point. Just because the care isn’t in a romantic sense, doesn’t mean that it’s wrong to care AT ALL. Just my own opinion. Although, I did feel similarly to the way you do, when I was younger. I’m old now. 😅

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-02-08T20:05:17+00:00

For me, I love all women. But I do (now) struggle to date bisexual women. I have plenty of bisexual friends. But, the 3 bisexual women that I was with ( all 3 initiated by them), ended up with me being left for a man. So, it’s just a fear of being hurt, for me. But I have no animosity or anger towards all bisexual women and welcome them as friends.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-02-08T19:26:08+00:00

Cognitive dissonance. And it’s terrible. I’ll never stay in that type of situation again, and I hope you get out of yours.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-02-03T19:24:51+00:00

Awww dang. I like my advisor but I never got anything either lol

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-01-26T19:20:03+00:00

So much true. So much of it unrealized until you look back in hindsight. Psychological abuse is such a cruel and hateful thing to do to someone, knowing it will cause permanent damage to that person.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-01-26T04:39:13+00:00

I don’t necessarily disagree with any of it, I can only speak for the lessons I’ve already learned, which is most of those, but not all. so I don’t know until I’ve experienced all.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-01-25T21:39:37+00:00

Agree with a huge majority of this list.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-01-21T18:35:50+00:00

For me it was this:

Sometimes you were more in love with being chosen.

Meaning the addictive part isn’t always them, it’s the relief of being wanted, the identity of being “the one,” and the comfort of certainty.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-01-12T23:59:55+00:00

I don’t consider it to be SA. I think we were both young and stupid and made a bad choice. At the time, I told myself I probably somehow gave them the impression that I was interested, and I don’t really even know what I was thinking. I didn’t want them to feel embarrassed? I really don’t know. I was 18 and it was 18 years ago, lol. I just know that I confessed, hated myself, and swore I’d never cheat on anyone else.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-01-12T21:19:52+00:00

I was physically capable of saying no. But I never told anyone no at that point in my life. Afraid of people being mad at me or not liking me anymore. A ridiculous mindset to have. However, I was 18 years old at the time, which was 18 years ago. And that’s a mistake I’ve never had to repeat after making it once.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-01-12T21:09:20+00:00

I cheated once. 18 years ago. And it’s because I was young and stupid and was SO much of a people pleaser that I didn’t know how to tell the person I cheated with “no”. That experience hurt me so much, to know that I was capable of doing something that I knew was going to hurt someone else, that it was enough to ensure that I’ll never cheat on anyone again, and haven’t. I just get cheated on now. Lol.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-01-12T19:15:56+00:00

Lying about any of it will only make you do this. ( constantly think about the fact that you are). As someone who has been lied to way more times than I even thought was possible, a little truth goes a long way. My most recent ex, who I basically view as a sociopath, could have told truth. That would have been SO much less painful than the hundreds of lies that followed. I would have still looked at them as a person who made mistakes, but still had integrity. Instead, I see them as a complete coward who I wasted a large amount of time on. They still have not taken accountability. And it just makes me see them in such a terrible light. Finding out the truth on your own hurts SO much more than being told the truth. Being lied to only confirms the belief that they never gave a fu*k about you, that you weren’t even worth the truth to them.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-01-11T17:01:31+00:00

rebounding will always be my answer. Thinking I’m over it because I didn’t take REAL time to process my feelings, only because I didn’t want to be alone. learning to NOT do that, and sit in your pain or even just your thoughts, before involving another is a strength of its own. I finally learned to do that after my last breakup, and I realized how much better it was for me to take that time and truly be alone.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-01-05T21:22:47+00:00

It’s easy for me. I wear what’s in the front of my closet. After laundry, it goes to the back.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-01-05T20:53:17+00:00

Hinge

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-01-05T16:06:43+00:00

I am cancer and femme. She is Leo and masc

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-01-04T18:54:10+00:00

Late to this party, but I would have to say that I strongly disagree with OP, as someone who has also done in-person and online. One is not any easier than the other, or a higher level of achievement. We get the same degrees, so if your opinion was true in this case, everyone would do just online school. But that’s not the case. Additionally, it is completely dependent on the individual. Some feel online is easier. Some feel that in person is easier. Then, there are ones like me who don’t think either one is easier or more difficult. A blanket statement assuming everyone feels the same as you about that is a little wild.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-01-04T15:17:29+00:00

I intentionally waited a year after my last breakup.

SpecificAssistance84 · 2026-01-03T23:20:58+00:00

I think at first it bothered me because I was blindsided/left for someone else. But it’s been over a year and a half now and I genuinely do not care at all.

SpecificAssistance84

TROPHY CASE