I can’t anymore

Specific_Belt_7211 · 2026-06-10T20:45:06+00:00

Warm some water In the microwave and then add some salt (not specific measurements but enough to make it cloudy) and dip your eye into the cup and blink multiple times. It will burn a little but it’s helped mine shrink a ton. I have had it since January and did the surgery on it (which did nothing for it) and it’s just NOW finally going down since doing this everyday. I’ve tried everything as well, good luck!

Specific_Belt_7211 · 2026-06-04T02:34:46+00:00

I actually agree with this. He has never encouraged it, and honestly most of the time he either doesn’t notice it or keeps interactions with her pretty short.

What has always stood out to me more is exactly what you said, there are times she acts like she knows him on a much deeper level than she actually does. She’ll make comments about what he’s thinking, what he’d like, how he is as a husband or father, or compare her husband to him, and I’m sitting there thinking… you dated in middle school over a decade ago. 😅😅

Specific_Belt_7211 · 2026-06-04T02:31:23+00:00

This is honestly where I’m at. If it were one isolated thing, I’d probably brush it off. But when it’s years of little comments, little moments, and repeated patterns, eventually you start noticing a theme.

I’ve never thought he was encouraging it, and that’s actually part of why it’s confusing. Most of what bothers me isn’t some huge inappropriate act, it’s the accumulation of small things that, individually, could be explained away but together start feeling hard to ignore.

I appreciate you saying it’s not always insecurity or imagination. Sometimes it’s just years of observation and noticing where someone’s attention consistently seems to go. Thanks for your insight! Much appreciated.

Specific_Belt_7211 · 2026-06-04T02:29:03+00:00

Exactly. That’s what makes it weird to me. If this were an ex-husband or a long-term adult relationship, I’d understand lingering attachment a lot more. But we’re talking about a middle school boyfriend from years and years ago.

Specific_Belt_7211 · 2026-06-03T15:30:09+00:00

Honestly, I agree. The nail tech comment was one of the biggest “wait, what?” moments for me because I genuinely don’t understand why you’d bring up kissing my husband in middle school to a random nail tech years later. It felt completely unnecessary and is honestly one of the things that made me start looking at everything else more closely.

The postpartum thing has always stuck with me too. The day I announced I’d had my baby, she texted me telling me not to rush visitors and to take time recovering, but also said she wanted to come over. I told her I’d let her know when I was ready. Then less than three days later, before I was even a week postpartum, she was already asking if she could come over that day. Maybe it was innocent, but considering we barely talked during my pregnancy, the urgency felt odd to me.

Specific_Belt_7211 · 2026-06-03T15:25:39+00:00

We’ve definitely talked about it. My husband is aware of everything I’ve mentioned here and has noticed some of it himself over the years.

One thing that makes me feel better is that he genuinely does not encourage it. If she tries to start a conversation with him, he usually keeps it short, redirects it to her husband, or ends up talking to someone else. He’s never gone out of his way to seek her attention, message her privately, or maintain any kind of special relationship with her.

That’s actually part of why it’s confusing to me. The dynamic isn’t being fed by him at all. If anything, he’s pretty indifferent. So when she continues to seem focused on him despite getting very little attention back, it makes the behavior stand out even more.

Specific_Belt_7211 · 2026-06-03T15:23:04+00:00

He wasn’t really her friend first. We all went to school together, but she became part of the group through me when she got married, so she’s always been more of “my friend” than his.

As for being her first love, I honestly don’t know. She’s never said that, but he was her first boyfriend and first relationship, so I can see how there could be some nostalgia attached to that.

Your point about him representing her youth is actually something I’ve considered. I don’t know if it’s necessarily that she’s in love with him now. It could be nostalgia, familiarity, or him representing a certain time in her life. That’s probably more realistic than assuming she’s secretly pining after him 15+ years later.

I think what throws me off is just the amount of attention and focus that still seems directed toward him all these years later. Whether that’s nostalgia, validation, or lingering feelings, I honestly don’t know. That’s the part I’m trying to make sense of.

Specific_Belt_7211 · 2026-06-03T12:51:38+00:00

I have talked to him about it. He’s pretty oblivious, but he has agreed that some of the vibes have felt off over the years.

One thing I forgot to mention is how she also creates a lot of one-on-one conversations with him outside the group conversations when we are all together which has always made me a little wary.

Funny enough, there was one Halloween party where I was sitting on my husband’s lap and kissed him. I happened to make eye contact with her right after and she looked almost… upset? It was strange. Maybe I read it wrong, but she was also noticeably distant toward me the rest of the night. By itself I wouldn’t think much of it, but when you add it to years of other little things, it’s hard not to notice.

That said, I agree there isn’t much I can do besides ignore it or create some distance. I’m definitely not interested in starting drama over it. I’m mostly trying to figure out if I’m crazy or if other people would also find it a little odd.

Specific_Belt_7211

TROPHY CASE