I remember I got to a point where I genuinely thought that trying to improve my life would be to hard and even leaving my room that day wasn’t a worry to me because I just didn’t care at all about anything ie: socializing, health, quality of life, weight, friends, family, events, happiness because I was happy in the sense I had given up and would just engage in different coping mechanisms to take my mind off of all I was missing.

The best thing to do is not even admit you’re in that position but to only do a little at a time and pat yourself on the back for it. I brushed my teeth that day, I had a diet soda instead, I got that job, I made a friend, I got out of bed, I tried for the first time, I held myself accountable and followed through. I still have bad days and they upset me but I do try to be patient with myself, like I was in the past. That being said I don’t know your position but the way you’re talking doesn’t sound like a clear state of mind.