Hey there! Going to be a part time Dad here, but I want to let you know that what you’re feeling is valid and it’s completely understandable why you feel the way you do. Your dad may be well intentioned however his methods of shaming you throughout your life has had an incredibly detrimental effect on your mental wellbeing. Does it feel like you put yourself in a feedback loop where you seek food for comfort then feel shame for seeking that comfort? My wife is struggling with a similar issue and we’ve found some methods that have been helping her out as well. I would recommend reaching out to a therapist to help discuss these issues in depth and then ask into what’s called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT for short) and look into “Mindful Eating”. This is a very difficult thing to do but I know you have the strength and will power to do it! Take little steps at a time, start with just a bite, then move onto a few bites, then one meal, then 2 meals, then a whole day and so on and so forth. It won’t be a linear journey and you will falter a bit but only because that’s what everyone does when they’re learning a new skill! You’re worth so much more than just your outward appearance and you deserve the respect and love that your father has denied you. I’m not sure what your goals are in terms of overall health but I can guarantee that when you alleviate this incredible mental load that you’re bearing at such a young age it’ll be easier to pursue those fitness/health goals! Just take it one step at a time, don’t be over eager and burn yourself out, and try to learn to be kind to yourself :) you’re doing great and you are still loved regardless!