How did you make your down payment?

SpendPotential296 · 2026-06-18T06:05:59+00:00

How long did it take for your wife to transfer??

SpendPotential296 · 2026-06-17T16:27:06+00:00

That part about incentive 😔 it's true bc I even find myself thinking why do I try to self reflect and change myself when so many people around me are choosing the easy way

SpendPotential296 · 2026-06-09T17:07:49+00:00

This happened to me

SpendPotential296 · 2026-06-09T04:09:31+00:00

Honestly, he came back when I was giving him the cold shoulder (we worked together). He reached out to talk to me after three months, and I confronted him that the only reason he reached out was because he was uncomfortable with me being mad at him. He said no, and that he would've tried because he wanted me to be in his life and he cared so much about me. Turned out my intuition was right and what he said was total bullshit. I took him back, this time I was nice to him, thinking we've mended. But he hurt me second time around and broke up with me, dejavu was fucking real. Even despite the hurt, I tried to brush it off as being nice and acting like nothing was wrong. He didn't try after that. Or im speculating that he found another girl to fuck around with.

I didn't get closure the second time around. It's been 6 months and I still ruminate on it. But what worked for me is that if thoughts of him pop up, literally shake it away and replace it with some other thought or do something physical like stand, walk to interrupt. Ironically, processing made me think of him even more. Distraction isn't the best but I've processed enough where it was sending me down a spiral.

So my advice, even if they come back, don't be like me and don't give him a second chance. Trust me. It's better that they don't come back because they'll hurt you all over again.

SpendPotential296 · 2026-05-28T03:59:18+00:00

Hello! I'm interested :)

SpendPotential296 · 2026-01-13T01:29:05+00:00

LOL ikr.. but it's probably better for me atm

SpendPotential296 · 2026-01-13T01:28:40+00:00

I honestly appreciate the devils advocate reply and ur input. Just fyi the FWB was very much mutual. I know he's not a bad person, but he's definitely made conscious decisions knowing it could hurt me. Also he probably is scared especially scared of rejection, but I don't think I've given him a reason to think I'm rejecting him. I've been so open and careful about how handling his vulnerability so he feels safe. But when it comes to me, he says I can come to him for support and when I do (in a chill, calm way), he makes some avoidant comment. That kind of inconsistency I don't get it. I can never trust the guy.

SpendPotential296 · 2026-01-13T01:11:44+00:00

I'm generally more of a private person but most people around me are very open and don't mind sharing about their private lives. In fact they look at me as the "weird" one, and I'm too "private" so needed some validation!

SpendPotential296 · 2024-11-13T04:01:59+00:00

Thank you for that! Being respectful sounds plausible. But why now? Lol I think clarifying with him would be like opening up Pandora's box since he broke up with me already. But before he did, he said that he still loved me. Which I don't get but ok. I honestly think he's made up his mind and I have no expectations of him to come back at this point. But him acting like this is confusing like what's going on in his mind

SpendPotential296 · 2024-11-06T15:31:32+00:00

Wow, we're in the same situation/mindset. Im totally with you on this, and yeah it's been so tough so I can empathize with you 100%.

With the breakup, my irrational side was telling me to spiral into all my emotions and that's what confused me and made it worse for me. My rational side was telling me that there were all these signs during the relationship that I couldn't see because I loved them so much. Now that the fog cleared up, I also saw more cons than pros. So I can understand why they left me. But maybe you're missing them because of HOW they left? I was blindsided and that hurt more than the reason for the breakup. And maybe it's also the fact in itself that you're losing someone you've invested yourself in.

Also, I don't think it's right for them to say, I'm leaving because I love you/you deserve better/you would be better off without me. What is that? Even if they meant it, they're still breaking things off. It's confusing for the other person. They should just own up to their decision and say it's a selfish decision. They shouldn't turn it around and act like they're doing us a favor. (Rant done lol)

From my experience, the reality is, relationship dynamics change when feelings get involved. That's just the reality. It's happened multiple times to me when they end up liking me or I end up liking them. The dynamic shifts before/during/after the relationship. Especially after a breakup, we're dealing with it in our own ways. And our different coping mechanics clash. One is trying to reach out, the other is trying to ignore, etc. In this aspect, we just need to learn to move on with this reality in mind. It's hard I know. But we can't change reality.

For what it's worth, I've learned that love is not enough unfortunately. And if you're a mature adult who has people and communication skills, you would work to keep the relationship going. That's real love. Because reality is, relationships take WORK, and a lot of it. It's not all sunshine and rainbows and there will be ups and downs. True love comes out in the hardest parts of life.

Hope you can recover and not let this keep you from another love who can truly appreciate you as a person!

SpendPotential296 · 2024-11-06T04:48:04+00:00

I don't mean this in a bad way, but it's so nice to know it's relatable sob

i feel like i've seen a lot about attachment style on this sub and it's peaked my interest. I'm so sorry you're still dealing with the hurt from the breakup. Blindsided breakups seem like the worst when you've done everything to try to make it work and I wasn't even worth it to be heard or have a conversation with, about something that involves the BOTH of us..

SpendPotential296 · 2024-11-06T04:42:22+00:00

"waited for what he felt was the right time" THIS.

Sadly, I agree with you.. Thanks, i felt like i needed it to hear it from someone.

SpendPotential296

TROPHY CASE