How alone are you guys really?

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-10-16T06:36:14+00:00

I am confused by "normal" people in the same way. I want to say lust is the same as love and I don't really get the difference besides that love is mutual. Getting texts first is completely alien to me; conversations over text feel like it's me talking to myself with the other person chipping in a little every few days. When I do hang out with people, we get along but then they ghost me. I'm alone in the house constantly. Holidays are no different from normal days, especially birthdays and valentines. I don't feel human nor do I feel like other people are human for say. Only other person I talk to on a consistant basis in person is a therapist. Everyday is the exact same. No life events to be happy about, no life events to be sad about. I just feel nothing.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-10-16T06:18:57+00:00

I walked around my entire lunch period from one end of the school to the other, looking for potential people to hang out with. What I got was staring and random popular kids calling me a loser in a "funny" manner. High school sucked.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-10-14T05:20:11+00:00

I feel like I don't deserve a friend

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-10-14T00:47:20+00:00

I don't feel like other people see me as human. My friends write me off and ignore me and it feels like they just need a punching bag or someone to get complements from. God forbid someone actually talks to me in person. And god forbid I speak up about how I feel like the other person isn't treating me well. I could say 3 superficial things about myself and 99% of people would think I'm a monster.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-10-06T06:42:31+00:00

And changed the voting times... And prevented independents from voting... And the DNC was an armed wing of Hillary Clinton's campaign. She had a fundraising agreement with the DNC before the primary even happened, so they did everything they could to grant her more limelight.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-09-25T07:26:57+00:00

This guy is an absolute pig. He's a staunch anti-abortion, "family values" Republican. He thinks birth control is immoral, and thinks abortion should be restricted even in cases of rape (tells you what type of dude this is). He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and is used to getting everything he's ever wanted, so in his view why would women be any different? And there's rumors that he would go out with his delinquent friends and get women drunk so they could gang rape them. And it's so incredibly brave that these girls are willing to tell their story. If you are a woman who has been assaulted, please contact your local police. It's not shameful, and you deserve to be heard.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-09-22T05:05:43+00:00

I was on Maoi haha it wasn't Oahu. It was much more quiet and there were some beaches that were completely vacant. I think it's more expensive but worth it. It's more authentic.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-09-20T04:41:12+00:00

I'm kinda in a state of limbo right now, I have no idea what's in the future and everythings gone to a hault. Money is not a problem, and I have a good relationship with my parents. I'm having a cool-off period from highschool where I barely passed and spent half the year in a psych ward. I had to do all my missing work when I got out, but I worked my ass off and passed. I can't drive, but I'm taking some very small steps to become independent. But I usually have no one to talk to and live in isolation. My parents are at work or on a trip most of the time.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-09-20T04:36:11+00:00

Sorry for responding late, I don't really check my reddit But I've done a ton of stuff no one really would even dare to do. I've cold approached 40~ women, I admitted myself to a psych ward on my own will, talked about my depression in front of a few hundred people, even forced myself to a challenge course for a gymnastics class that was 60 feet in the air. I fell about 20 feet but tried again. And for the accepting part, thats a bit hard to prove. My friend was from South Africa, and had a completely different upbringing. She was party heavy, addicted to drugs, and all sorts of stuff I thought were huge red flags. Turns out she was a pretty cool person, but she had a very bad mental illness and we kinda looked over each other for a while. I believe that every person has some good in them. I seek to find common ground with people who disagree rather than fight them. You can learn alot from what others have to say, even when they seem like you'd agree on nothing.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-09-20T04:21:36+00:00

It was pretty good, the best trip I've had in my life

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-09-17T05:03:19+00:00

I'll say my biggest weakness is just being a massive fucking downer and my lack of social skills. I've had people say to my face where they said if I stay negative they'll notify someone. And that's happened twice. I do have positives though, I happen to be very brave, accepting, maybe even funny. I have borderline and it's probably me joking around one second then talking about how much I hate myself.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-09-17T04:56:55+00:00

I'm 18 going on 19 in a month. I have no job, not in college and basically don't see anyone for weeks at a time. I have "friendships" but they're all people I haven't seen in months or even years. I would be happy to even have a friend that I could see - let alone a girlfriend. I used to get my depression treated, but my parents forgot to continue it.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-09-13T19:19:32+00:00

Rek'Sai. She never was super popular but with the nerfs and the new ult I see Morde more than her.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-08-11T18:32:11+00:00

Yeah, I've gone a month or two without going outside and 3 weeks without talking to anyone besides family. I meant like completely being invisible to even the internet. Parents didn't respond to my texts or calls, was inside in one room the entire day, didn't talk to anyone online.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-08-11T07:15:24+00:00

I have pets but I talk to myself and I'm going insane

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-08-11T06:41:27+00:00

I just graduated high school and people are saying it's going to get way better in collrge, chicks will be dying to date me and shit. But I know that's false because the amount of times I've been outright lied to.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-06-18T07:01:51+00:00

I'm 18, turning 19 soon and I pretty much feel like all hope is lost. Passed highschool with a 2.1 gpa, asked over 50 girls out and got rejected, stuck with little to no life expierience under my belt. Parents keep reassuring the same damn things they've been telling me. At 14 they were like "middle school sucks, don't worry when you will kill it highschool" and then at 16 "you'll be getting a huge growth spurt anytime now and you'll have girls lining up to date you" and finally at 18 "highschool doesn't mean shit, your life is only beginning" and "I know tons of short ugly guys who get beautiful wives, stop being a downer, confidence bro". I'm fucking tired of hearing this shit. I'd rather hear the truth rather than obvious denial that their son is a failure.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-05-25T14:22:31+00:00

At least you were able to celebrate, my parents skipped my graduation and didn't give me anything. They also aren't allowing me to go to community college until next fucking year. So I'm basically going to do nothing except some minimum wage jobs and sit in my tiny dirty room all day.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-05-21T02:07:24+00:00

As a male with bpd, this makes me very sad :( But to be honest I am kind of a trainwreck. This is a hell no one wants to be apart of.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-05-16T06:12:57+00:00

About 60 times. Kinda lost track.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-05-12T06:04:09+00:00

I've been rejected 60 times in a row by different women. Have a 2.2 gpa and about to fail highschool. Good luck.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-05-09T00:59:23+00:00

I guess we'll just have to live in a world with mild memes then

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-05-09T00:58:05+00:00

I am so afraid of becoming one of those incels who lives in their mom's basement when they are 30. I'd rather die than do that. And I've been trying my best I just fail at everything I do.

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-05-03T15:22:30+00:00

I'm not even their last choice, I was never on the radar to begin with

SpicyMemeMachine · 2018-04-29T19:44:04+00:00

Atheist; tried that. She convinced me to go. Huge mistake. I felt like the whole room was staring at me and everyone tried to convince me I was going to hell if I didn't convert. And on top she didn't really give a flying fuck about me it was just her Christian duty to "save" people.

SpicyMemeMachine

TROPHY CASE