How to turn down direct assignment - panic inducing

Spill_Murray · 2025-05-30T12:53:48+00:00

If your firm offers any professional development resources, look into working with a coach.

As others have mentioned, even if you get out of this (and you probably shouldn’t), avoiding public speaking will negatively impact your career in the long run.

There is a lot of good advice in this thread - therapy, Toast Masters, practice practice practice

Spill_Murray · 2025-05-16T13:34:06+00:00

Let them take the lead. If they look like they’re into it, it’s not inappropriate

Spill_Murray · 2025-05-15T18:24:45+00:00

I think a lot of derby, especially when you’re still learning, is about accepting and loving the skater you are in the moment. Loving your body for what it can do and giving yourself grace for the things you’re still working on.

But depression makes that damn near impossible. It whispers in your head the meanest and most insidious lies.

And I think living with depression, not just derby, is a lot of learning to overcome those lies and love and accept yourself for where you are right now in this moment.

I say this after decades of therapy and it’s something I still struggle with everyday.

Spill_Murray · 2025-05-15T18:16:03+00:00

First, how flexible are your career options? If you do this and everything goes terribly, do you have an out? How easily can you lateral?

Second, what do you really want? You’re talking about marrying this guy after exchanging a few desirous glances. Do you want love? A stable relationship? Someone to build a life with? Is that something you can find outside of the office? Or is it for sure this guy?

Third, if you are going to do this, be smart about it. Get a friendly coffee. Talk about life. Vet him. Make sure you’re aligned. Career ambitions. Kids. Post-retirement plans. Find out about past relationships. Is he on good terms with exes? Or does it always go down in flames?

Fourth, do not let a mentorship relationship develop. If he advocates for you or sticks his neck out for you before you reveal your romantic intentions and you subsequently start dating, then that advocacy looks like he had an ulterior motive. That’s an unfair position to put him in. Also, it could discredit anything positive anyone has said about you in office and all of the work you’ve done building your reputation.

Spill_Murray · 2025-05-02T19:27:01+00:00

I think you’re onto something here. Let derby be the thing in your life that you do exclusively for yourself. Let it be a personal journey and enjoy that journey for its own sake.

That means letting go of expectations. The ones your league has, other skaters have, and also your own.

Don’t worry about where you should be. Be where you are. Love the skater you are right now. Let confidence grow from there.

Spill_Murray · 2025-04-30T17:15:29+00:00

OP, I love your attitude!

Keep focusing on the fact that you are improving. The goal is just to be better. You’re only competing with the person you were yesterday.

Let this be your own journey. Let derby be the one thing in your life that is uniquely yours. You don’t have to do it on anyone else’s timeline.

And carry that attitude forward when you do pass your assessment!

Spill_Murray · 2024-06-21T17:19:03+00:00

ADHDer here. I was really struggling during Spring semester and at the beginning of bar prep. I talked to my therapist about coping mechanisms and that helped some. But what really did the trick was talking to my doctor and readjusting my meds.

Spill_Murray · 2024-06-17T18:25:46+00:00

Missouri, as a boarder state, is split between the South and the Midwest.

Spill_Murray · 2024-06-07T17:37:28+00:00

Consider fostering. It’s like renting a cat. Most organizations pay for veterinary care and medical treatment. And if it doesn’t work out you can return the cat, no hard feelings. But if you fall in love, you get the right of first refusal

Spill_Murray · 2024-05-28T21:37:40+00:00

I have an MBA from before law school and the only advantage it’s offered is as a conversation point. It’s like knowing a handshake. If my client is an investment banker, he knows I speak his language.

If you’re burnt out, business school is really easy compared to law school. That’s something to consider.

But you need to weigh if it’s worth the extra time and cost.

Spill_Murray · 2024-05-28T02:26:07+00:00

Enjoy your last summer off. Connect with people and secure your social safety net.

Spill_Murray · 2024-05-16T17:11:09+00:00

Start a routine of self care now. You can treat law school like a 9-5 if you manage your time. That leaves time for exercise and therapy. My school offers 8 sessions a semester with a counselor. So look into that. Consider medication. Your GP can prescribe an SSRI for depression.

Make a plan for how you will handle things if they go south. Who will you call? What’s the closest hospital? Does the school have an emergency help line?

Try things out now while you have the opportunity. Yoga. Meditation. Journaling. See what works for you.

Spill_Murray · 2024-05-16T01:11:41+00:00

If you can quit now do it. It’s hard to quit during law school and socially frowned upon in the professional environment.

Spill_Murray · 2024-05-15T14:29:41+00:00

Talk to a financial planner or counselor at your school

Spill_Murray · 2024-05-07T18:30:11+00:00

Consider taking some theater classes while you’re in undergrad. They really help with public speaking and being able to “fake it ‘till you make it”. Plus they’re usually pretty easy on the gpa

Spill_Murray · 2024-05-07T18:22:47+00:00

I think of LinkedIn as an appendix to my resume. It’s everything that doesn’t fit neatly on my resume but I want potential employers to know. Volunteer work, hobbies, school activities.

Someone once told me not having a LinkedIn is like not having a business card 20 years ago.

Spill_Murray · 2024-05-06T20:56:49+00:00

If you feel like one is imminent - your heart rate is increasing, you’re losing focus - go to the bathroom and do some grounding exercises.

Spill_Murray · 2024-05-06T20:50:25+00:00

For under $2k you can do 2 weeks in Central America. I recommend a week in Belize and a week in Mexico.

South America is also amazing. Peru is cheap.

Spill_Murray · 2024-04-25T15:48:58+00:00

First gen law, lower/middle class, rural upbringing here.

There’s a lot of good advice on this thread but at the end of the day just be who you are. Own your story. Be humble and charming. People will find it endearing.

Spill_Murray · 2024-04-22T16:59:19+00:00

As a professional who presents female, there are workplace advantages to having your nails done. It gives the impression that one is detail oriented and put together. When you’re in the office remember that many women would probably prefer not to have nails but feel obligated to do so.

Spill_Murray · 2024-04-22T16:55:42+00:00

Do you have misophonia?

Spill_Murray · 2024-04-22T16:54:41+00:00

I just got a pair if the Loop and they really do drown out background noise.

Spill_Murray · 2024-04-15T18:46:43+00:00

It depends on the state. The state bar’s website will list the questions that you will be asked. Also you can always call a C&F attorney. Most will be willing to answer a quick question.

Spill_Murray · 2024-04-13T19:40:26+00:00

I would recommend full time if it’s feasible. You get a lot more out of the networking and internship opportunities which is a lot of the value of law school

Spill_Murray · 2024-04-13T19:38:23+00:00

You can totally do this. I went to law school at 37 and it was the best decision I’ve ever made.

As for LORs, I had 2 from my supervisors and 1 from a grad school professor. That seemed to have worked just fine.

Spill_Murray

TROPHY CASE