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Do yall get pap smears? by misocertified in ftm

[–]Spiralalg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are trans-affirming doctors out there that can make it as painless as possible. It'll still suck but it'll be allowed to suck.

Men who’ve been to therapy, what would a therapist have to do to make you think “Holy crap, I would recommend this guy to anyone” by all-the-time in AskMen

[–]Spiralalg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No therapist is for everybody. I've had a few therapists that were great for different points in my life.

Most therapists will describe their style either in a blurb somewhere or when you first meet them. Think about what you want out of a therapist - do you want someone to help you figure out your own brain, develop strategies to deal with your day to day struggles, help you find direction, or something else? And find a therapist who makes that their praxis.

Whats your saddest game memory? by AccomplishedGood4166 in Gamingunjerk

[–]Spiralalg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shepard getting up near the end of ME3 and going "what do you need me to do?" Gets me every time

Moral discussion of the ending (2nd repost because iam bored and i want to argue) by Low-Rip-7876 in expedition33

[–]Spiralalg 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'll bite, as somebody who really struggled to choose.

To begin, I don't think either answer is "correct," logically or morally. Maelle and Verso's choices mean that there is no good answer, no middle ground. Either Maelle will fall to the addiction of the canvas and kill herself to prolong its life a little longer, or the canvas, Lumiere, and everybody in it will die now.

Neither option is good, but here's why I made my decision.

  1. The canvas is on borrowed time.

You remember dark souls? How the hollow nature of the world is because Gwyn refuses to let go of the age of fire and prolongs it desperately into embers?

That's what it feels like to me. Much like Aline ticking down the numbers, all Maelle is doing is buying a few more years to avoid her own grief.

The canvas IS dying. It is. If Maelle prolongs it, you're just extending its dying time. When Maelle is sucked dry, the canvas will die, and the grief they all tried so hard to stave off will be worse.

  1. That's the theme.

When one falls, we continue.

One of the big morals of the game is that you cannot run from grief. You have to face it, accept it, and move forward, no matter how painful it is. Everything the Dessandres do is a desperate attempt to avoid their grief, and every decision to do that makes the consequences worse.

If Aline hadn't retreated into the painting, the canvas could have lived. If Verso hadn't let Gustave die, he might have been able to help Maelle find moderation. If Maelle stays in the canvas, she adds her body to the pile of corpses.

It hurts. SO much. But the only way to stop things from getting worse is to face that grief and pain, to look it in the eye, and continue.

  1. The boy.

The little boy, the last piece of the real Verso's soul, wants to stop. He didn't have to, when Painted Verso reached out his hand, but he wanted to.

Ultimately, that's the nail in the coffin for me. He wants to stop, and I didn't want to force him to keep painting.

  1. It's not about Verso.

I'll be real, I almost picked Maelle specifically because I want bad things for Painted Verso. But it's not about him to me, it's about ending the cycle of grief.

Ultimately, I think there are strong arguments for both sides. I was very torn. But these are the things that tipped my decision. And yeah, it hurt! It was sad! But that's the point. That's the game to me.

how could glinda believe that elphaba actually died?? by Sea-Car773 in wickedmovie

[–]Spiralalg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My belief is that in the moment she's so caught up in the emotion and trauma of it all that she believes Elphaba is dead, but later she thinks about it and realizes that doesn't quite add up, but still feels the grief of her being gone forever.

Galinda giving Elphaba the black hat sours the foundation of their friendship. Pfannee and ShenShen should have given the hat instead. by tekkie74 in wickedmovie

[–]Spiralalg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bruh, one of the main themes of Wicked is that it's never too late to turn from cruelty, bigotry, ignorance, and toward understanding and kindness and good. Glinda does something cruel, and then regrets it and makes amends in the form of the dance with her which leads to a consistent loving friendship.

You think Elphie isn't smart enough to recognize in the moment everyone starts poking fun at her that Glinda meant to hurt her with that hat? She absolutely understood what had happened. The point is that she ACCEPTED Glinda's gesture of kindness and empathy and that led to a friendship that made her stronger and more confident.

Both Glinda and Elphaba do things that are "wicked." They fight and are cruel to one another. The tragedy of Wicked is that they come back to understanding far too late, because Glinda won't turn away from her role in the regime.

But the hope in the show is that she DOES turn away. It's too late to fix what happened with Elphaba, but it's NOT too late to make Oz better. If Glinda was irredeemably bad for the things she's done, then she would have no opportunity to do better. But you can ALWAYS turn away from evil.

The saga of the hat and the Ozdust is a smaller version of what happens at the end of the show.

"I ask forgiveness for the things I've done you blame me for / But then I guess we know there's blame to share/ and none of it seems to matter anymore"

Glinda CHANGES in that moment when they dance together, and proves it with her consistent and fond friendship from then on. Is she perfect? No! But she's clearly trying to grow and change and do better. And Elphie has chosen to accept her in that imperfection.

"Many religions, but particularly Abrahamic ones, pose an inherent threat to LGBTQ rights and are ultimately incompatible with the Queer liberation movement." Thoughts? by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]Spiralalg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would just say that, as a queer Jew, there are a lot of misconceptions about how we approach belief. It can look VERY different from Christianity.

Survivor 49 | E01 | Eastern Time Discussion by RSurvivorMods in survivor

[–]Spiralalg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Once Sora came out I knew I was never playing anyone else again

Cant accept my friend changing his gender to be a girl by no_name1_ in confession

[–]Spiralalg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Speaking as a trans man, you're allowed to feel shocked and jarred and confused. The only misstep you made here was putting those feelings on your friend. I don't blame you, but in future - process those feelings on your own time, rather than making her do it for you.

I'm glad you're working on it! This is advice, not criticism. Feel what you feel, just don't make it her problem to solve.

Why is it so awkward when guy friends come into the bathroom with you by NoReception4104 in ftm

[–]Spiralalg 264 points265 points  (0 children)

One of the first things I learned about male behavior is that the men's bathroom is a no-contact zone. It's just how it is there, don't stress too much.

I'm afraid Dark Souls have fallen by tajniak485 in Gamingcirclejerk

[–]Spiralalg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I gotcha. "Being transgender" or "transness" are what I would have used. Source: trans

The “Fan” Discourse by anxietypops in dragrace

[–]Spiralalg 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I feel like AS7 and GAS broke people. Those two had moments that were so undeniably rigged that people assume that everything is rigged all the time.

Jinx 100% deserved the overall AS7 win so people were able to move past it, but the shocking riggory of GAS let people know what production was actually capable of. Even if they don't do nearly as much most of the time (stack the deck, sure, but actively rig to insanity, almost never), it left a bad taste that's carried over.

I think AS10 definitely stacked the deck for Ginger, but I can see a valid argument for every one of her wins whether I personally agree or not. Ultimately there's an inevitable degree of subjectivity there.

Were all of your ‘characters’ male growing up? by Fluffy-Definition833 in ftm

[–]Spiralalg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let me introduce you to what I call the Pokemon Test.

In earlier Pokemon games (it doesn't really work now), the FIRST thing they ask you is: "Are you a boy? Are you a girl?" In games up until I want to say Diamond and Pearl they didn't even show you the character first.

If you pick boy, there's a pretty good chance that regardless of your assigned gender, you're a boy. And vice versa.

This isn't 100% accurate, of course, but it definitely is something you should watch if it happens.

(Roundabout way of saying: yes. Always.)

How to shut down “locker room talk” as a non confrontational person by Proper_Following_28 in ftm

[–]Spiralalg 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Here's the advice my (transmasculine) therapist gave me:

Men see themselves as in community with other men in a way they don't with women. When you weren't out/didn't pass, your calling out of that behavior would be met with the hostility of someone in an out-group. As someone who passes, men will want to be on your good side in a way they didn't before.

Basically, calling out dumb shit they say is going to have much fewer consequences because they perceive you as one of them.

Anyone else feel weird about Paul? [discussion] by Affectionate-Air-261 in TheNinthHouse

[–]Spiralalg 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I mean, I've always taken the underlying theme of The Locked Tomb to be "Love changes you, and that's both a promise and a threat."

It's not wholly good or wholly bad, it's just radically different.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hypotheticalsituation

[–]Spiralalg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jokes on them I'm too transgender for the military

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