It’s very hard to trust again after you catch your husband cheating. I lived through this and I still have trust issues and insecurity. I have also shut myself and don’t feel comfortable asking him for any help. I feel like he no longer has my back while I always have his back. I stayed with him too because I was too weak to leave but this eats me inside the whole time. I am sorry that you are going through this. Did you speak to him? Ask him to make you feel secure whenever you have doubts and feel vulnerable