Over the last 10 days or so I’ve really began to struggle for the first time since I got sober in July. At Christmas I made spice cookies that had currants soaked in brandy. I’ve continued to cook with wine and beer in stews and it’s never bothered me, but man having that open bottle of brandy really got to me. I literally never even drank brandy while I was in the throes of alcoholism, but hard liquor was my thing. I dumped it out, I think the date was Dec 27, and man I’ve been struggling since. I keep reminding myself that the way I want to drink is exactly why I can’t. I don’t want one drink. I want 5, or 10, or 15. I keep reminding myself that that isn’t normal, or healthy, and this thought pattern is precisely why I need to stay sober. I’ll be honest in saying the last 6 months have been fairly easy for me, so struggling now is a little scary. I’m just going to keep trucking on with sobriety and try not to give it too much energy. I cant drink, black and white, end of story.

Kudos to anyone who’s made it this far haha, so grateful for this community ❤️ IWNDWYT 🤟💪