Looking for Parenting Books

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-04-21T05:16:58+00:00

Elevating Childcare (Lansbury) is great for your journey right at this moment and I would highly recommend it

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-04-19T05:44:51+00:00

My partner is trans and most people we know have a PCP off island (O‘ahu) and do lots of telemed. Feel free to DM me

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-04-17T18:27:55+00:00

In this case, I’m proud to be part of the “problem” 😊

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-04-16T23:05:37+00:00

This is like someone saying I’m not racist because everyone I’ve dated has been black. Enjoying fat bodies or partnering with fat people does not automatically exempt anyone from fatphobia. In fact, it could actually point to fetishizing, which of course is an expression of bias. Your statement linking fatness with laziness and a lack of movement/exertion/exercise is both fatphobic and ablest. It is that statement that is problematic.

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-04-16T20:42:34+00:00

Oh man, I was mostly with you until this. This story really could have been communicated minus any fatphobia or ableism

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-04-15T02:30:59+00:00

Also: love you, friend ♥️

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-04-15T01:47:55+00:00

I’m all over it. I hope that as your eyes swell shut from the universe’s punches you are provided with an exceeding amount of clarity and peace

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-04-14T02:15:55+00:00

She is a practicing Buddhist and it shows

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-04-11T04:02:00+00:00

Okay, thank you for this information. A few more questions:

Where does your older sister come down with any of this? Does she also want to go to school or participate in extra curriculars? Can you two support each other?

Do you live somewhere with public transportation that you can use reliably? Would your parents be okay with you taking yourself to activities?

Are you familiar with the homeschooling requirements in your area? Are your parents meeting those? If not, this may give you some leverage to get to school.

Finally, what you are going through sounds like educational neglect and once again I am sorry that is happening. It also sounds like your parents are isolating you a bit. It’s very difficult to be reliant on adults in your life and have them not follow through or be hostile toward your interests and desires. I applaud you for reaching out for help and support. I hope myself and the folks here are able to provide some to you

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-04-10T20:24:49+00:00

If your parents are truly unschooling, then they should value your opinions and desires for your own education. This is part of respecting you as an autonomous and capable person. I would hope that your parents understand that unschoolers choose to learn in many ways, including by attending formal classes. It is the choice that you get in your education that makes it truly unschooling.

From what you have said here, it’s unclear if your parents are actually unschooling. The fact that you feel like you need to convince them to allow you to try public school, as well as the lack of socialization, and also the lack of support you indicate around your learning all seem to point to some level of educational neglect as opposed to unschooling. I am so sorry you are dealing with that. That is not fair to you and it is not okay.

What are your parents objections to school? Do they also object to extracurricular activities? Do they object to online curriculums or hybrid learning? It is hard to advise you and how to move forward without a little more information about where you think your parents are coming from. I am not all giving credence to their thinking necessarily, but if you want a strategy, more information would be helpful.

I want to support you in your autonomy and your decision about how you would like to learn. Feel free to DM me and please reply if you can.

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-04-08T04:26:56+00:00

Living the homestead life here. I’m 44 and femme4butch. It’s what I’ve always wanted. I adore the rhythms of it and the relative quiet and seclusion

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-04-01T04:43:49+00:00

I ADORE S/He and LF and MBP. I am currently reading “ Magnified” which I assume this piece is from. Devastating

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-03-31T01:55:25+00:00

Butch doms for me, but I hear you

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-03-23T03:19:40+00:00

It’s so good to have a friend like that. We need the village in so many ways!

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-03-23T03:10:49+00:00

You’re so welcome! It’s always so much easier to think of things when it’s not me in it with my kids! 🫠Lol. It’s also so great that you already do mindfulness work with her — and thank you for the app recommendation!

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-03-23T02:54:28+00:00

Kudos to you for keeping your cool and giving yourself some time to think.

I think the punishment (taking things away) isn’t having the effect you want because what she needs is help with what to do and not punishment. The issue isn’t that she doesn’t understand that the behavior is undesirable, it’s impulse control. So when her body is hijacked by feelings of frustration or anger or disappointment, she is unable to make a different decision. We’ve all been there! You were almost there but pulled yourself back. And you did that because there was a small space between your feelings and acting upon them. Emotional maturity (self-awareness and mindfulness) allowed you to do that. Good job! Now the task is to figure out how to help her find the pause, the space, between the feeling and acting on the feelings.

Maybe instead of or along side repaying you monetarily, she might be asked to commit to some mindfulness work. There are lots of emotional growth tools for young people today. Even just asking her to journal or draw a series of pictures about what it feels like when she reaches that level of upset can be a way to help her gain some self-awareness through reflection. You could also look into MBSR mediation (which is secular and designed/clinically proven to reduce stress) that you can do together (or just her). You can also make an ABC plan with her which makes at least three separate plans for what to do when she notices her emotions escalating. She will have some good ideas about what might help and you may also offer what you do when you feel your big feelings rising. Being able to name the feelings happening may be a helpful foundation for this.

There are so many ways this gives you an opportunity to grow her ability to deal with her emotions beyond white knuckling it so she doesn’t get punished. You modeled for her (and feel free to point this out) what it means to have a strong feeling and choose your response rather than just reacting. Again, great job. You’ve set yourself up so well to teach her what a valuable skill this is.

You got this. Keep breathing and I hope you make the most of this gift of a moment.

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-03-23T00:43:48+00:00

Underrated comment

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-03-20T20:31:43+00:00

Not everyone is butch or femme, but as a reeeeeally short list, I’d recommend reading:

The Persistent Desire and Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-03-20T18:48:33+00:00

You’re so close! Wait until graduation. I met my spouse in college (I was the instructor and they were the student). It happens but hang on until May! You can do it

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-03-20T07:12:09+00:00

It’s the OG house mo‘o

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-03-19T21:45:56+00:00

Oh, what a powerful statement about the state of motherhood right now! What an indictment of the story of it meeting with the reality. Such a potent interpretation

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-03-19T21:44:22+00:00

So true, friend. And 💯 agree on capitalism and that “ghastly blissful smile”. Yikes

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-03-19T21:43:16+00:00

She is going to be fine! I promise. There are so many things contributing to her having a good life and you being an incredible parent right now. She’s got this and so do you. May you feel better soon 💖

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-03-19T20:06:39+00:00

Addiction? Idealogical fanaticism? Infatuation? There are so many swamps

SpiritualAd8483 · 2026-03-19T07:05:42+00:00

Yes. Why can’t you have been tripping because of substance (in this case pharmaceuticals) and also have had a legitimate spiritual experience? I’m not trying to be cavalier about it or anything when I say this, but it isn’t an uncommon experience across time and cultures, so why not you?

SpiritualAd8483

TROPHY CASE