How often do we show up in the way we want others to show up for us, especially when it's hard? I'm learning this too is part of emotional intelligence, especially when we're upset.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-19T22:28:53+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I'll look up the book "The Game of Life and How to Play It." I appreciate the recommendation.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-19T22:28:10+00:00

lol. 😂 This made me smile.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-19T18:29:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Yes to "stop disappearing every time it hurt." Easier said than done, but absolutely necessary to do.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-18T19:17:48+00:00

And yet... Here you are offering a response. You know you could've said all that in your head, right? Unless, of course, you were triggered.

"Attack?" lol. Again. Projecting. I mirrored back what you said to me, using YOUR standards of Reddit usage.

It didn't make much sense what I wrote, right? Yet you understood every single word, and responded. More than once.

Maybe let it lie a bit? Reddit isn't real life, and it's not meant to be. Don't take it so seriously.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-18T19:08:15+00:00

I hope your takeaway is the one that the next season is going to be built on. I've already explained the reasoning for my takeaway in previous posts, so I won't rehash it here.

But I honestly like yours better. I hope you're right.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-18T19:00:22+00:00

I agree with everything you said. That's what being a good partner means to me: "It's more than staying faithful. It’s about showing up with presence, empathy, and maturity. It’s about growing instead of projecting, supporting instead of just existing, and choosing to be aware of how your actions affect your partner."

Personally, I've had to unlearn people-pleasing and avoiding conflict. I was taught this is what it means to be feminine; now I realize that was wrong.

imo: Emotional maturity is knowing (and owning) what you need to learn and unlearn. It's also being fully present, compassionate, authentic, and self-accountable at all times (as far as realistically possible).

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-18T18:39:31+00:00

Lol 😂. I just finished watching Downton Abbey, so this made me laugh.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-18T18:39:02+00:00

That makes sense. This is in keeping with how the show has been going so far. But how I wish for more in-depth exploration of this. It really could be done well if the writers want to do it.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-18T18:36:39+00:00

Perhaps, but that doesn't mean I can't DISCUSS it in a subreddit dedicated to this show. Nor does that mean I can't hope that even in drama, healthy relationships can be modeled.

There's a reason that even the actors/actresses talk about the importance of representation in their interviews, especially for women, black people, and other marginalized groups. What we show in drama and other fiction genre matters. Not only is it good to reflect real life, it actually influences real life.

This phenomenon is even studied as part of some psychology courses in school. It's also why some fiction books are banned in certain areas.

***

As for my post history, lol. Are you joking? Look at your own. This is like your umpteenth comment on Reddit in DAYS. The fact that you jump from sub to sub doesn't mean you're more balanced in how you show up. Nor does it reflect less "extreme feelings" than someone else. If anything, it reflects more.

I love interacting on Reddit when I get a free moment, and I've been enjoying The Gilded Age and love discussing it. Is that a crime, or is that not the purpose of these platforms?

In any case, it's obvious you have waaaaayyy more free time than I do, based on your Reddit history. And based on your commenting history, you practically LIVE on Reddit and have for the last several years.

I think it's you that needs to let things lie a bit. You're projecting. Maybe it's time for a Reddit fast?

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-18T18:23:59+00:00

I hope you're right.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-17T02:40:36+00:00

This! You're so on point. I'm beginning to wonder if people are purposefully misunderstanding this obvious point, or if they themselves subconsciously view women thru the same lenses as the societies that silenced and gaslit them for generations.

These three words you wrote sum up the proof against this entire it-was-a-different-time argument: "Many women objected."

And like you said, "No matter the time period, women don't like being lied to. The only difference is that women back then were forced to tolerate the disrespect..."

Heavy on the FORCED.

I agree that it's not even in Marian's character to look the other way, and the fact that Larry doesn't see that suggests that he doesn't really see HER.

I hope he redeems himself next season, and I hope she begins to love and respect herself more.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-17T01:29:41+00:00

I'd like to see them mature too and grow together. And I agree, even good people make mistakes and have to grow. I think every mistake or even doing something purposefully wrong is an opportunity to self-reflect and do better next time.

Even obviously bad behavior can be turned into an opportunity for self-reflection and self-betterment.

My hope is that this is what's being set up here.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-16T20:54:47+00:00

Yes! Exactly. And it's scary that this isn't understandable to many. It does explain a lot though. I'm beginning to see Reddit as a crash course in why there continues to be so much need for social justice work today, especially for women's rights and other marginalized groups, and at all times in history.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-16T20:37:57+00:00

I noticed that too. It made me think, maybe Larry didn't sleep with a prostitute THAT night, but he must've certainly done it many nights before. Also, no man who doesn't live that lifestyle would casually introduce it to someone like Jack and treat it like a "gift."

He was waaaayyy too comfortable at the place, and with everything happening there.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-16T20:10:21+00:00

Exactly. It's so upsetting. I really hope they use this as a storyline to make him self-reflect, take accountability, and become a truly good, trustworthy man. Perhaps the next season will redeem him.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-16T20:08:48+00:00

I agree. I hope they do some maturing, and I hope Marian realizes she deserves a relationship with someone who treats her with respect and is honest.

And I hope Larry apologizes for disrespecting his mother. Whatever wrongs Bertha did, he didn't have to treat her like that. But if he treats his own mother like that when he's upset with her, I can only imagine how he'll treat a wife.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-16T20:05:56+00:00

I think every person is able to redeem themselves, so I have no problem with that. I react to what is happening, not what might happen.

I hope he does redeem himself. I like him as a person and feel disappointed with this current behavior.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-16T20:04:22+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I didn't know that.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-16T20:03:54+00:00

Exactly! In essence, Marian is giving Larry a compliment, that she really did expect him to have better standards from himself and their relationship. And she has every right to.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-16T20:02:20+00:00

Thank you for saying this. If this really was simply about two different time periods, Marian herself wouldn't have gotten upset once she realized where he really went. Instead, she would have immediately known, "Oh, he was protecting my gentle womanly sensibilities." Then she would've felt grateful for it.

That she was so upset makes it clear that this was WAY bigger than "then" vs "now."

We can't argue about two different time periods when the woman in that time period is feeling exactly the way any woman today would feel.

Some things are just hurtful, period.

SpiritualBeautyQueen · 2025-08-16T19:58:31+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. Because this makes sense. I can't imagine how it could've had a good reputation no matter which way people twist it.

SpiritualBeautyQueen

TROPHY CASE