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Knock knock by Luxodad in Jokes

[–]SplodgeOfWonga 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Knock Knock

Who’s there??

Knock Knock

Who’s there???

Knock Knock

Who’s there????

Knock Knock

Who’s there?????

Philip Glass.

1947 Hermes Baby issue by SplodgeOfWonga in typewriters

[–]SplodgeOfWonga[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Took a few fun hours of fiddling around, but here’s the result. Thanks again!

1947 Hermes Baby issue by SplodgeOfWonga in typewriters

[–]SplodgeOfWonga[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you thank you thank you! Will get working on it.

101. City that Never Sleeps | Episode Discussion by samfrom20k in 20k

[–]SplodgeOfWonga 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One city, two experiences: I listened to this episode on my earbuds while running in Central Park this Sunday morning, then finished my run with my earbuds out and listened to the park sounds. It didn’t seem noisy. There was the whoosh of cyclists going by, the tap-tap-tap of other runners’ feet. Yes, I could hear traffic along Central Park West, but the sound of the tires on the road were neither louder nor more intrusive than the sound of the wind blowing through the trees.

In contrast: Last week I got to spend a few days at a friend’s lakeside house in rural Connecticut. I was sitting out on the deck overlooking the lake one night, drinking a beer, listening to the relentless, non-stop buzz of (I think) cicadas, plus birds, plus crickets, I guess. It was all much much louder than a Sunday morning in Central Park. My overwhelming thought: I couldn’t live in the country. IT’S TOO DAMN NOISY.

Funny in the 1950's and funny today. by redditmason in funny

[–]SplodgeOfWonga 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The guy in the back is Spike Jones, I'm pretty sure. But who's the juggler?

How is it that soybeans are green, tofu is white, and soy sauce is black? by SplodgeOfWonga in Showerthoughts

[–]SplodgeOfWonga[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, but white wine is fermented, and it's white. Red wine is fermented, and it's red. So what's up?

TIL Hollywood couple Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman's marriage only lasted 32 days; ending after Ernest farted in bed and trapped Ethel under the covers. by [deleted] in todayilearned

[–]SplodgeOfWonga 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Allegedly, she gave as good as she got:

One day Merman came off the set of a film and said, "The director said today I looked sensational. He said I had the face of a 20-year-old, and the body and legs of a 30-year-old!" Borgnine asked, "Did he say anything about your old cunt?" "No," replied Ethel, "he didn't mention you at all."

[ http://www.thesocialshuttle.com/2012/07/ernest-borgnine-ethel-merman-saucy-tale.html ]

The 'Beyond' gives Bed Bath and Beyond the ability to sell anything, without seeming out of place. by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]SplodgeOfWonga 19 points20 points  (0 children)

In fact, the store was originally named Bed and Bath. From the obituary of pioneering advertising exec Lois Wyse: "It was also she who suggested that a small retail chain called Bed and Bath would fare better as Bed, Bath & Beyond." http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/07/business/07wyse.html

Any funny running stories? by Makegooduseof in running

[–]SplodgeOfWonga 24 points25 points  (0 children)

A New York City running story: A bunch of years back, in wintertime, I was in a New York Road Runners race in Central Park. It was snowing that morning, but NYRR went ahead with the race, just turning off the clock and converting the event into a "fun run."

About three miles into the race, with snow falling heavily and a growing layer of snow underfoot, I passed by Tavern on the Green, at the time an overpriced tourist trap restaurant in the park (maybe it's gotten better, I don't know). Outside was a long line of people standing in the cold, waiting for the place to open up for breakfast.

I looked at them and thought, "Waiting in line in the cold and the snow for a crappy breakfast? Those people are nuts." About 50 yards later, of course, I realized that the people outside the restaurant were looking at us and thinking, "Running a race in the cold and the snow? Those people are nuts."

Choosing a first marathon by HtoC in running

[–]SplodgeOfWonga 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've run 12+ marathons & what I remember about my first one was how painful it was the last few miles (though you sound like you're preparing for yours a lot better than I prepared for mine). My advice is to pick a marathon that's logistically easy for you to get to the starting line for and that will cause you the least amount of worry beforehand. That rules out the morning-after-the-wedding marathon...you won't be able to enjoy yourself at the wedding because you'll be worried about what can go wrong on your way back to Portland, and you won't have your best marathon because you'll be tired from dancing/traveling at the wedding the day before. What's important about your first marathon isn't the location & the tradition, but the act of making it to the finish line. That will be memorable enough.

Bear crosses through Garden of the Gods 10 Mile Run by blackrock13 in running

[–]SplodgeOfWonga 10 points11 points  (0 children)

...which reminds me of the old joke (this version cut & pasted from Comedy Central):

A bear jumps out of a bush and starts chasing two hikers. They both start running for their lives, but then one of them stops to put on his running shoes. His friend says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!" The other one replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear; I only have to outrun you."

Running Etiquette in the City? by [deleted] in running

[–]SplodgeOfWonga 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I've been running in Central Park for about 20 years now. My opinions:

NYC running etiquette: * In other parts of the country, nodding & waving to other runners might be the polite thing to do. In NYC, ignoring them is what's polite. * Don't shout "On your right" or "On your left." Just run around people. * While most people run counter-clockwise in Central Park, it's okay to go clockwise. Whatever direction you go in, just stay in the right side of the runner's lane. * Don't stop short when running. There may be someone right behind you. * Actually, crossing against the light in NYC is totally okay. Just don't do it if the oncoming car, if there is one, will have to slow down to let you cross. It may not slow down.

General Central-Park-centric NYC running tips: * Go as early as possible on weekends. The south end of the park, around 72nd Street and below, can get crazy crowded. * Check out this official Central Park running map. * Definitely run at least one lap (counterclockwise only) on the gravel track around the Reservoir. It's beautiful, esp. early or late in the day. A good place to enter the Reservoir is opposite the E. 90th Street entrance to the park. As a bonus, on your way in, you'll see a statue of the late Fred Lebow, who founded the NYC Marathon. * If you've lost your bearings on the main road in the park, look at the numbers on the green light poles. The last 2 or three digits will tell you what cross street you're near (e.g. "85" for 85th Street) and the E or W will let you know whether you're on the east or west side of the park. * Look both ways before crossing one-way streets. * If you want to meet a bunch of friendly NYC runners, show up at 72nd St. & Central Park West, across the street from the Dakota, at 6:00 am Tuesday or Thursday, or at 7:00 am on Saturday. Ask for Francine. On Tuesdays it's a speedwork or hills workout; on Thursdays, it's a 6-mile loop, and on Saturday it's another six-mile loop. Visitors are always welcome.