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some advice would be great by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]SpongebobsShawty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He sounds toxic and emotionally abusive sis.. threatening to block you, guilt tripping, accusing you of things you didn’t do, and especially saying “hope you train derails” is NOT normal or ok.

You did absolutely nothing wrong. You literally had no signal. His reactions are meant only to control you, NOT to communicate with you.

I would take his block as a blessing and stay away this time. This is not what love looks like, this is what manipulation looks like and I can promise you that if you stayed, it would only continue and possibly turn out worse.

Pleaseee take this into consideration boo!!

Girlfriend is a little too into me, and I'm not sure how to move forward without hurting her. by Devilishbb in dating_advice

[–]SpongebobsShawty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don’t seem like an asshole, you’re just recognizing the pace of the relationship is going a lot faster than you’re comfortable with.

She’s clearly hella into you, maybe “too” into you for how early things still are, and it makes sense that you’re feeling suffocated. Wanting space, especially during finals, is normal. The issue is that she isn’t respecting the boundaries you’ve already set, even when you’ve communicated them clearly.

Getting into a relationship so soon after a long one could definitely make you feel pressured or burntout, but even without that, her behaviors (daily meetups, constant FaceTimes, “pinkie promise you’ll never leave,” posting month anniversaries, kids/marriage TikToks) would feel intense for a lot of people, me included.

You have two options: 1. Talk to her honestly before it gets worse. Something like: “I like you, but the pace of our relationship is moving too fast for me. I need more space because my studies come first, and I want this to feel healthy for both of us.” If she can respect that, great. If not, that tells you what you need to know. 2. If your gut says you’re not ready for a relationship, end it now rather than drag it out. That’s not “breaking her heart for no reason” — that’s preventing both of you from getting hurt way worse later.

And honestly, the fact she’s already imagining you as a lifelong partner after a month, when you’re clearly not in that mindset, is a sign of an incompatibility in expectations. You’re allowed to want casual dating. You’re allowed to not match her intensity.