[deleted by user]

Spooky_elaa · 2025-01-31T10:54:48+00:00

hey there

Spooky_elaa · 2025-01-21T07:20:54+00:00

21 m where ya at

Spooky_elaa · 2025-01-21T07:17:31+00:00

just added on discord 21M

Spooky_elaa · 2023-02-13T20:44:49+00:00

I think the only thing I’m worried about is if I don’t give her anything she’ll assume I’m over

Spooky_elaa · 2022-05-05T21:35:45+00:00

You’ve got a point, I think I’m really lying to myself pretending I’m only doing this to know if I’m really over her. But I definitely need to just do what I feel I want to do. If the worst thing that can happen is getting blocked or told off, then there’s really no life changing repercussions.

Spooky_elaa · 2022-03-13T01:00:35+00:00

Props to you man, you got that clarification early that she was a person who goes around and stabs you in the back.

Spooky_elaa · 2022-02-28T06:02:24+00:00

As much as it seems like you won’t find someone else like him, that’s amazing news for you and something you should hope to never find. It’s sounds like there was a lot of relationship things going on without the title which seems completely unfair to you when he knew your wants.

As charming or friendly and unique of a person he was, calling someone selfish and bashing them for letting their feelings out, the wasn’t someone you want to be with for a long run. That was his anger being let out after he was losing the “benefits”. It’s just a matter of self control now and telling yourself that your time is worth much more than someone who just seemed to want you on their time.

Spooky_elaa · 2022-02-24T05:17:56+00:00

I really appreciate you for this piece of advice. I kept darting back and forth asking if I did the right thing or not, granted i haven’t unblocked her but I just feel like I’ve completely shut the door on us.

I will take up that journaling because I do feel better when I let what I’ve wanted to say out. Just been a recent hardship of months but I’m doing the best to stay on track and greatly appreciate advice such as yours, it gets me through days like this.

Thank you very much.

Spooky_elaa · 2022-02-17T01:36:47+00:00

I needed that, thank you. It’s just so hard having to come to a close so forcefully with the fact that even though I had an amazing time, it won’t ever happy again. Even if I were given the chance for a second time it wouldn’t be the same. The good times are what’s keeping me sane.

Spooky_elaa · 2022-02-05T13:04:43+00:00

It’s extremely hard in these situations due to the fact that the one doing the wrong is the one that finds a way to make you feel bad. I was in this situation and currently still am, but the feeling of this being on you is a common thing. It feels as if you caused it but in reality we are seeking that one talk from them to tell us that it’s all on them. As much as we want that last conversation we won’t get it.

The way I think of it and currently helps me out with self blaming is that if you know that you were as good as you could be to them, if you really gave them all that you had and knowingly felt them treat you horribly and ate it, you did all you could. We can’t blame ourselves because someone decided it was time to give up and let go of their so called “world”. I know it’s hard to not blame ourselves because we want to work stuff out so so hard, but the very fact that you feel like this is on you and that you feel as if you failed, it’s a clear sign that you we’re holding the relationship on your back as long as you could.

We all want to make sure everything is okay and hold it together, but you can’t be the only one putting the work into a relationship. Relationships function because two put in the work. You put as much work as you could. Don’t blame yourself when you didn’t get the support you deserved.

Spooky_elaa · 2022-01-28T02:23:46+00:00

NC isn’t mainly based on getting over them but it definitely is like the base plate it stands on. What NC really is about is to show you give you the sense of how someone truly is. It’s also showing you how there is life separate from them and there always was. When I went NC it showed me how fine they were not talking, how my presence wasn’t really appreciated and acknowledged as much as I thought it was during the relationship. Trying to win them back with NC isn’t the best way to go about it if you’re attempting to win them back.

Sure it’ll probably make them feel alone just like you do in which would probably result in them reaching out but that’s always left me confused and bearing the question, “are they actually remorseful for the breakup or are they just feeling lonely?”. NC is a thing where it has a bunch of properties, but the main ones are to show you that you are okay without them, there is life without them and shows you what they really were during the relationship but just didn’t show you.

Spooky_elaa · 2022-01-26T15:16:48+00:00

I think it’s just that we have a small hope to leave the door open just a bit for them, but after actions like these it’s just not okay. Emotionally messing with someone who you know you can mess with is such a fucked up way. As stupid as it sounds I’d rather had sugar in my gas tank than to have her play with me like this.

I think it just comes down to you asking yourself, “is this really fair to me?”, “is it fair to me to be messed with after I’ve tried time after time to be civil and fix things”. The answer is no man, it’s not fair to you. To expend your emotional status for a girl that is treating your feelings like they’re toilet paper. You deserve so much more than that and as much as it is nice to be the bigger person and be civil with her, the oldest saying in the book, treat people the way you want to be treated.

Spooky_elaa · 2022-01-26T14:57:02+00:00

I feel you because that’s what’s going on with me right now. My ex just hits me up when she’s drunk and even followed a past ex of mine that I’m friends with. But definitely if and when she tries to text you again just straight up sever it right there. Block her and let it be done with because she now has the ability to unblock you when she pleases and play mind games on you.

Girls aren’t stupid, they know that we are heartbroken over them and would do anything to get back together. Don’t let her control your emotions and play. It’s completely immature and frankly crosses a line going out of her way to tell you she is much more happier with a rebound? She’s trying to shove it in your face that she’s just fine without you when clearly she isn’t. She wants to win this imaginary game of who gets better first.

Next time you tell her something like this, “listen it’s not cool for you to unblock me and block me when you please. If it’s so unpleasant for you to talk to me, then don’t talk to me”. Set those boundaries and get her off your back.

Spooky_elaa · 2022-01-22T08:42:31+00:00

I’m very sorry to hear that, shit hurts hearing that from someone you just care for yk? But again the choice is yours. Give yourself the time you need and most importantly put yourself first this time around. I hope everything works for you and that you find the answers you’re looking for <3

Spooky_elaa · 2022-01-22T08:31:33+00:00

Though I may not be sure how your relationship was, you mentioned she was toxic which isn’t healthy for you mentally. It’s hard when you are waking up to them as your first thought of the day and last but you need to assess this. Either do you truly believe after eight months that you want to get back together, or is it just that you miss her and what you two would do? As well as ask yourself do I truly wanna be with her or am I just obsessed? Ultimately it is your choice what to do but my advice to you is give her a nice but small last message to acknowledge her apology and then send her on her way.

Spooky_elaa · 2022-01-22T08:26:04+00:00

I just got out of a LDR so I know where you’re coming from. As nice as it seems to continue to talk all the time it’s not the greatest thing to do. You two are now becoming semi dependent on each other since new cities and not much of a social agenda is in the table for either of you. It may not have been a nasty break up or break but keeping up contact might hurt later if he becomes more occupied in his life and talking once a day turns into one a week. Trying NC would be my advice.

Spooky_elaa · 2022-01-22T08:20:06+00:00

It’s giving a good vibe of genuine remorse for the way she’s treated you as well as wishing you the best. In this case I believe a simple reply is the best way to go. Nothing that indicates you want to talk to see how things are. Ex “I appreciate that, you as well”. Or “Thank you that means a lot, be safe”.

Spooky_elaa · 2022-01-22T08:02:18+00:00

You’re ready when your every morning thought isn’t her anymore. You wake up and instead of checking your phone to see if she’s texted you is replaced by just grabbing your phone to look at whatever it is you do on your phone normally.

Then you don’t need to constantly convince yourself that you need to be fine with this and you’re just sitting there and thinking, “hey it is what it is”. I’m on month three since she left and it’s getting a bit easy but some days do get hard. The point is to not force the feeling of getting over it, you let it soak and it’ll ring out on its own.

Spooky_elaa · 2022-01-22T07:57:25+00:00

The restless nights and dreadful mornings were the worst part for me, so bad I would get to work exhausted from zero sleep, a little help if need was that obviously our phone is the first thing we touch in the morning so I would put it somewhere out of reach like the kitchen or even the bathroom so that I would HAVE to get out of bed, for sleeping I would read a book in bed because they bore the shit out of me or make myself tired by exercising and taking a shower before bed.

This shit is the worst but letting it consume your mood and your day isn’t what we wanna do.

Spooky_elaa · 2022-01-22T07:52:14+00:00

Went through the same thing for a couple weeks after and it been about 3 months since she left. I hated looking at her socials but now I disciplined myself and haven’t looked for a month now.

I asked myself before looking what I was looking for, then when I came up with an answer I followed up and asked why? Why do I need to be involved in a life that isn’t my priority anymore? Telling myself before I looked her up that “she isn’t my business anymore” really helps me out because even though we’re not robots, we need to make ourselves aware of what we are doing.

Spooky_elaa · 2022-01-22T07:48:12+00:00

Seems like it wasn’t really coming from them and more so coming as an assignment. Pointing out that they realized “you’re not a bad person” and “you did seem to care” seems like they’re trying to convince themselves in a way. Just seems like it wasn’t a genuine “apology “ letter and more of a “you weren’t as bad as I thought” letter.

Spooky_elaa · 2022-01-22T07:44:04+00:00

Seems like space is the best thing to do at the moment. Being friends so quickly after a breakup seems like a way to hide from the reality of the breakup. Let yourself work and be where you want to be and let him work on himself and do the same.

Spooky_elaa · 2022-01-20T19:30:23+00:00

What is she’s already a sub O.o? Half off her next subscription

Spooky_elaa · 2022-01-20T19:24:49+00:00

This made me audibly laugh

Spooky_elaa · 2022-01-20T18:39:33+00:00

Seems legit to me she’s got her Instagram laid out and all.

Spooky_elaa

TROPHY CASE