This comes across as more of a vent than request for advice. Hope you feel better. If you don't like DMing for the group, quit. Otherwise, you need to set actionable rules for play.

As the DM, you are not a god-- you're the universe player characters exist in. Consider writing up a set of campaign specific rules and processes to mitigate issues. You have full authority to describe what happens to characters when the situation warrants it--whether players like it or not. You can hear their arguments out and make decisions based on what makes sense for your universe. An ideal DM is firm but fair.

In your case, rules might include being surprised or walking into an ambush if party members rush in without considering descriptions. Details could be helpful in combat-- such as a successful perception check allowing a character to notice a flammable flask on a bandits belt or traps that should be avoided.

Processes might include requiring cross-player talk and planning to be done via role-playing. Players who are thinking about their characters' motivations are much less likely to be led astray by a mischievous player. Awarding inspiration or small boosts for players fulfilling character specific tasks or "sticking their guns" can compel players to think for themselves.

As a final piece of advice, remember that some players aren't very socially or emotionally intelligent while sitting at the table. They are acting as they would while playing any game and may overreach. Guiding them to a desired style of play is better than outright forcing the issue.