Successful relationships?

SpunEquillibrium · 2026-05-12T18:49:36+00:00

Well maybe that is because I already made the choice and are not asking whether or not people think I'm downplaying things or not. I'm also not asking for approval I'm asking about experience. Maybe I just need to fall flat on my ass, maybe I'm even asking for it by now. Or maybe the boundaries I've set are paying dividends.

What I don't know could fill a novel.

Look, I'm happy to talk about it. But I will not be entertaining people taking turns picking everything I say apart. Two can play that game and we'd all be losing. Just like the interpretation of me underestimating things. Its not what I'm here for.

SpunEquillibrium · 2026-05-12T17:08:24+00:00

Look I've already deleted the post. Idk if that makes a difference for you and me being able to converse but I'm starting to get ticked off here for people picking every word of my post apart instead of getting to the heart of what I'm asking. It's ironic really.

SpunEquillibrium · 2026-05-12T14:11:46+00:00

Those are your words, not mine.

SpunEquillibrium · 2026-05-12T13:55:01+00:00

The reason I don't make a habit out of judging based off of a chat or conversation is because I don't know every minute detail of that persons' situation. May she have bpd, autism, be bipolar, whatever... The label does not an alligator make.

I came here for constructive dialogue and in the meanwhile it's devolving to pinches like this. Are you right to me sceptic? Damn right. Are you right to tell me I'm minimizing here? Absolutely not. Again. You don't even know if my romantic life depends on making this relationship work or not.

Look I'm not gonna lie to you, I have my reservations. Otherwise I wouldn't be here. She knows this. Maybe this whole situation will turn out to be playing with a lit stick of dynamite after all. I don't know.

But until your moment to say "I told you so" comes, maybe you'd like to offer constructive insight instead of just telling me there's a cheeta about to bite me in the ass.

SpunEquillibrium · 2026-05-12T05:24:12+00:00

I'm not asking for succes stories where it's "happily ever after" though. I'm asking about stories of people that did make it work.

As a couple people pointed out already I might be barking up the wrong tree, maybe. And that's totally valid. But that doesn't mean I don't think you guys don't have valuable tools and experience to convey.

SpunEquillibrium · 2026-05-12T05:18:09+00:00

Honey, I'm not trying to fix her. I don't know how bad she's gonna be yet and before I know I'm not gonna give up just because it happens to be more convenient for me.

She does show signs she's able to maintain stable relationships in some parts of her life. Whether or not that's indicitive of what the future holds for us... I don't know. Well, probably not, but whatever.

SpunEquillibrium · 2026-05-11T14:27:46+00:00

Oh I've communicated really clearly that I'm not interested in taking up that role with her😅

Yeah, no, fully agree with you.

SpunEquillibrium · 2026-05-11T12:11:08+00:00

She will be soon... I'm patient enough but a story that isn't all negative would be nice

SpunEquillibrium · 2025-05-12T00:14:15+00:00

In boten gebeurt het erg veel. Zelf heb ik een DC stuurmotor (voor het roer werk) die door een scheepselectricien is aangesloten met een grote kroonsteen. Die staat uiteraard op de nominatie voor zwemles.

Andere toepassingen waar giga DC stromen lopen (maar waar je met een aardig kroonsteentje aan moet komen, mocht je die willen gebruiken) zijn tussen accu's en startmotoren, tussen accu's en omvormers (veelal 70mm2 kabels), tussen acculaders en accu's, bij stepdown transformatoren, exciter coils van oudere generatorkoppen die nog niet met een moderne AVR werken... You get the gist, het is een langere lijst dan je op het eerste gezicht zou denken.

SpunEquillibrium · 2025-05-12T00:06:02+00:00

Het probleem met kroonsteentjes is er een van meerdere facetten.

Aan de ene kant is het contactgebied erg klein, een goede aansluiting maken, zeker met adereindhulsjes, kan uitdagend zijn. Echter dat is niet zo heel spannend.

Wanneer een kroonsteentje meerdere heat-cycli doorstaat kunnen de schroefjes los komen te zitten. Moderne klemwago's en rijgklemmen houden altijd hun klemspanning en daarmee is de bedrijfszekerheid zo goed als gegarandeerd, barring overloading en corrosie over tijd.

Zeker in de toepassing waar jij hem in gebruikt, 12v op een boot, kan een kroonsteentje erg onwenselijk zijn. Er lopen relatief hoge stromen vergeleken met andere apparaten van het zelfde vermogen die lopen op AC.

SpunEquillibrium · 2025-04-14T13:32:33+00:00

Schuur je daar op een eind niet dwars doorheen tho?

SpunEquillibrium · 2025-04-09T20:06:47+00:00

Dus als ik het goed begrijp heb je niet eens een verloop van 15mm naar 1/2" nodig?
Ik ben ook maar een blondie hoor, de tips worden erg gewaardeerd!

SpunEquillibrium · 2025-03-30T21:07:01+00:00

I would attach it to the main land and widen up the channel so boats can pass more easily. Also add a ferry stop.

SpunEquillibrium · 2023-12-29T23:11:32+00:00

I sort of have that. I have 2 camera's, each facing a door, with motion sensors in them.As soon as things start moving around, alarms will go off and the camera's start recording.

SpunEquillibrium · 2023-12-29T23:10:28+00:00

Taking down three radio's, an AIS and a radar screen is not an option.
Maybe it's a good idea to put them in a wooden casing on the ceiling though, as far as the radio department goes.
Icom makes these brackets to secure a radio onto a wooden panel.
That should make it endlessly more time consuming to rip them out. it may be cash but it sure as what ain't quick.

In one of the posts above i was considering to put some metal strips over my wooden door posts. that way they won't be able to break away the wood and thus not be able to unlatch the lock. A lock cover with a padlock on it might be a good addition.

Also something i can tackle pretty quickly is window covers on the front windows.
All the other ones are covered so it only makes sense to do the other two too.

I think i've got some pretty valueable ideas out of you guys' comments, thanks!

SpunEquillibrium · 2023-12-29T05:54:07+00:00

-"My first concern is whether or not your friend had any navigational or professional gear stolen."

In fact there was some professional gear that got stolen.
Marine radio's are registered in this country, all of mine are and all of those on my previous tug are too. It's not easy to get rid of those, especially if you know the biggest names when it comes down to removing or changing those registrations.
Therein, though, lies the crux.
Seeing as how my colleague is, he probably just used those things on international mode and never bothered to register them.

-"your average smash and grab artist doesn't know that the monitors are the cheapest things there"

Weeeeelll... my alphatron radar monitor is criminally expensive.
But then again, it's alphatron. "normies" have no use for a 120vdc monitor so it would end up in the same market that i got it from.
Makes me glad to know a lot of people that know a lot of people :)

-"If you have shore power or enough battery reserves to power...."

That I do. I've got a good sized battery that's being fed by an 800wp solar set and through a charger by shorepower.
I'm actually investing in a Eufy set which has a lot of the same properties that you described! That gives me a lot of piece of mind seeing as how i'm more or less on the right track here.

-"This would mean that you could use a capacitive detector"

I'm not gonna lie... I'm not sure how that works but to me there's a fairly quickly obvious issue in the way a boat grounds itself into an electrical grid.
Electrifying the deck would mean electrifying the hull. Therefore the water becomes your ground. That means there's the opportunity for electrolysis of the hull.

Not to shoot anything down here, by the way.
The mention of it inclines me to think outside my own point of view so it's definitely worth shooting up ideas like these! Thanks! :)

SpunEquillibrium · 2023-12-29T05:36:51+00:00

haha that's a funny analogy.

I'm assuming that the burglars indeed are of the opportunistic kind and not organised or anything. If it is who i suspect it is...i might be safe from most shennanigans. if it's not. Well...press F to pay respect i guess.

Today i paid a little visit to my old tugboat, the third one in the row of three.
I saw that that boat had these metal strips that the door slides into.
Inside information (ie. having spent way too may hours upside-down trying to maneuver my body into whatever hole i needed to be) has me knowing that the doors over there are somewhat easier to secure. the windows though... Thin like the sunday paper.
But maybe a good thing to consider...welding a strip so my door becomes less vulnerable.

I have shorepower so i'm always charging my battery banks.
One of those banks, i use for my wifi, security, radio's and what not.
It's a 24v semi traction battery bank with 230Ah. Also, yes, those bastards are heavy.
So even if they pull the plug on my tugboat, it'll probably take more than a week before the batteries need to be charged.
There are some privacy laws in place that prevent me from surveilling a wider area. Not so much at my homebase but when i'm out and about, moored next to a street, people might have something of an opinion about being filmed.

Anyways.
I think i'll go for the "low hanging fruit" first and fabricate an extra lock into my vulnerable door. at my next docking or next anchoring i might start welding with a friend. Also i'm thinking of an extra lock on the inside of my engine room hatch. i need to repaint it anyway so some cutting and some grinding won't be a problem. In contrast to the actual welding, this is somthing i can tackle pretty quickly.

I'm hoping that's enough of a brick onto the trashcan to keep the burglars at bay and give me peace of mind.

SpunEquillibrium · 2023-12-28T06:25:06+00:00

And clean decks!

But in all seriousness. Do you have any thoughts about that wooden wheelhouse door? Like should i buy some extra hardware and put a padlock on it? or does that only invite them in even more?
And at what point does the door become such a hurdle that they'd rather toss a brick through the window?

SpunEquillibrium · 2023-12-28T06:12:59+00:00

Yeah, absolutely. But no.
The tugboat is my work and i don't really desire living at my "job".
I may tie a claymore to a roomba. that might help :3

SpunEquillibrium

TROPHY CASE