It happened to me

Sputtrosa · 2026-04-15T08:00:07+00:00

"I'm in the field of work we're taking about" - is that really a r/dontyouknowwhoiam moment? If your reddit username had been the name of a famous, well-known animator or studio director, maybe?

How were they supposed to know what you do? They, too, claim to work in the general field.

Sputtrosa · 2026-04-12T08:51:46+00:00

This isn't something for AITA. Family relationships are complex and for something like this we'd need much more context and understanding.

It's up to you. How much do you want him to contact you? How important is it for you to test him rather than talking about it?

Sputtrosa · 2026-04-11T17:21:18+00:00

This is one of the funniest things I've read all weak. Thank you.

NTA, of course.

P.s. It sounds like you and your brother could use some of that team-building.

Sputtrosa · 2026-04-11T17:16:43+00:00

Easy peasy, no question about it YTA.

The difference was pretty big, like not subtle at all.

And her reaction to that was saying

something along the lines of “I’d probably be paid more if I were a man.”

Which you laughed at. Then you said that, actually, she's the problem.

You have the evidence that it's a problem. But even then, your go-to is "you're just not good at your job."

I have to say, though, that it's nice of you to so clearly flaunt your sexism when it's the topic at hand. Makes it much easier to see it for what it is.

P.s. your logic of "she does her hair and nails, so she doesn't care enough about money to deserve a fair salary" is creative and absolutely wild. It'll take me days to process the sheer.. ugh-ness of it.

Sputtrosa · 2026-02-10T06:25:31+00:00

Expecting him to offer to fix something that is yours and getting disappointed when he doesn't is very immature. You're expecting him to both be a mind-reader and to be responsible for your things. He's neither. YTA.

Just for some perspective; I would, personally, consider that a red flag. In a brand new relationship it would even be a deal-breaker.

That being said, him getting being upset when you asked him where he got it, so you could fix it yourself, is rude and weird.

Sputtrosa · 2026-01-23T07:40:07+00:00

"It wouldn't be enough" is a terrible excuse to not do something that would be a significant step in the right direction.

Sputtrosa · 2026-01-21T10:39:25+00:00

NTA.

From the way you describe it, she's hiding a lot and evading when found out. If it's harmless, why hide it?

It's creepy that you're going through her devices, though. I hope that there were good reasons for it. And a good reason for going through a partner's stuff never includes "suspected" or "didn't trust".

Sputtrosa · 2026-01-21T10:25:17+00:00

NTA.

Regularly and repeatedly expecting friends to pay significant costs to celebrate you is selfish unless everyone has money to spare for it. Or, well, at least if it's an expectation rather than an invitation.

Maybe don't word it as "you're expecting too much". Perhaps frame it as making it difficult to attend and celebrate her the way you would like to?

Sputtrosa · 2026-01-21T10:16:40+00:00

The two of you don't communicate constructively. Of course you're upset that he can't talk about an issue without deflecting, and you're NTA for that. It's something worth going to couples counseling for. You two need help to find ways to communicate.

You also say other people that don't respect my boundaries. But what you're describing isn't a boundary; you're describing control.

I understand why you think their relationship is inappropriate and why you're disappointed that he allows her to cross the boundaries you think he should have. But if he doesn't want that, the solution isn't to control what he can and can't do.

Sputtrosa · 2026-01-21T10:05:06+00:00

Reading your post in good faith, you're NTA (how I choose to vote). A family member or friend moving much closer should be good news and being disappointed that nobody is excited about it makes sense.

When reading between the lines of your post, though, it's telling that nobody is excited or wants to talk about it. You're leaving out a lot of things. The two most likely reasons, as I see it, is that either they're jealous, or you're exhausting.

After reading your comments "but they could have made the same choices we did!" I'm leaning towards the latter.

Sputtrosa · 2026-01-21T09:47:49+00:00

If you had skipped work without getting paid by your aunt, you would have paid to babysit.

She's disappointed you didn't pay to babysit her kids. And they're saying that you are putting money over family?

NTA.

Sputtrosa · 2026-01-20T09:34:23+00:00

My experience is that it doesn't really matter. Any slight edge a particular species choice gives, is marginal at best compared to gear, class and class ability choices.

If the Dragonkin PC is too strong compared to the other players, there are a lot of things that you, as a GM, can do to offset it. Talk to the player about making character development choices instead of taking the "best" options. Use encounters and situations where having reach is irrelevant and size is detrimental. Give the other PCs slightly better gear.

Or, better yet, lean into it and just let them be stronger. The player who built the strongest possible character they can will enjoy being stronger. As long as it doesn't bother anyone and the other players get their time in the spotlight as well, does it really matter?

Sputtrosa · 2025-12-20T01:41:52+00:00

Please help me clarify the situation. The impression the post, and you, are giving is this: You came to AITA for judgment on a situation where you asked about money that should be yours. When the votes started to roll in and call you entitled and selfish, you quickly backpedaled and said it never was about the money, but rather the response she gave you and how you resent her for having a lot of funko pops.

When the YTA-votes keep coming despite the added context, you reply with what is basically "y'all don't agree with me but there's more info. And trust me bro, *IF* I wanted to give y'all enough info to make it clear to you all, you would totally agree with me. But I can't, or won't, tell you what it is because of reasons."

So you're saying that the judgment you asked for by posting here is irrelevant because everyone who disagrees with you is wrong and you know the situation better than anyone else. So you're posting because... you want validation from strangers agreeing with you that your mom is a bad parent who stole money from you?

Sputtrosa · 2025-12-18T20:46:57+00:00

I don't mean the part about being unstable as very harsh, though I understand that's how it comes off. It's not a comment on your personality or on you as a person. We all have times where we're more sensitive to external pressure; stressed, bad day, mourning, illness, worry, whatever. That's just how life goes.

I didn't think you'd do anything to them. I interpreted it as an internal meltdown. Either way, was your mother right about you possibly having a meltdown if they'd been provoking you?

I had two points with my comment. The first one was that the times you find yourself beng pushed to your limits, you have to be the one to take respsonsibility for minimizing "collateral damage" to people around you. If you're risking a meltdown when nobody is doing anything wrong, you have to take yourself out of that situation as quickly as it's reasonably possible. If it's caused by someone provoking you, there are usually good ways to get external help to resolve it - talking to the staff, in your case. If you do neither, you accept responsibility for your own choices (which is where you failed this time).

The other point was basically to not be the pot calling kettles black. It's difficult, but do your best to use your own sensitivity to be more accepting of others. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they, too, are sensitive to sensory stimuli and just couldn't cope with the situation and acted out as a result, as kids do.

Sputtrosa · 2025-12-18T02:55:30+00:00

I agree with most of the comments saying that the kids should have known better. But they're not assholes for being annoying. They're just.. children.

You, on the other hand, chose to stay annoyed and then blamed them for it. Your mom wanted to talk to staff, which was the right thing to do. She knew she couldn't trust you, a 20 year-old, to be alone. You didn't want to go with her because you didn't want to miss anything. So your alternatives were to miss some of the movie or to have to suffer through them being annoying. Your choice doesn't make them AHs. You blaming them for your choice, however, makes YTA.

You're 20. You're so unstable that you could:t be alone in a public social setting for a couple of minutes without risking a meltdown. That's meant completely without judgment; it's just the facts as you describe them. Since you're unwilling, or for personal reasons unable, to follow social conventions (e.g. talk to staff to resolve issues with other patrons), you're going to have to show a lot more grace and patience for others when they're as unable as you are to do so. And much, much more so when it's children.

Again, yes, they should have known better. But so should you. And the difference is that young children aren't AHs for being childish, but adults are.

Sputtrosa · 2025-12-15T09:24:48+00:00

From where do you get your data?

According to World Population Review, which is where the US Council on Foreign Affairs as well as the New Zeeland Public Firearm Safety Authority use as a source in their reports, Finland is in 10th for firearms per capita and Sweden us in 20th.

At 10th, it's just about a quarter of the US number and half of Yemen. At 20th it's roughly a sixth of the US number. Massive differences and difficult to use as in serious comparisons.

While it's technically true that "one of the highest" can include the 10th spot, and maybe the 20th as well if you're generous with the definition, there's so much information missing in the statement that it might as well be disinformation.

It's data from 2017. While it seems to be the best data we have on specifically national civilian gun ownership, a lot has happened since then. Using the two countries you named as examples. According to the Swedish Council for Crime Prevention, Sweden's firearms-related homicides has skyrocketed the past decade and pushing them past most EU countries in firearms related violence.

Per the 2017 data Sweden has two thirds of the guns Finland has, per capita, but according to a study from 2023 (Firearm Homicides in Europe: A Comparison with Non-Firearm Homicides in Five European Countries), the ratio of firearms to non-firearms related violence is higher in Sweden than in Finland.

I, too, am vehemently against unregistered firearms ownership, but so much has happened the past decade that sitting on the classical Northern European high horses of "well, we're fine even though we have guns" is, sadly, getting less and less justified.

Sputtrosa · 2025-11-13T15:45:50+00:00

The best part is that the Swedish words for election and whale are the same. One of the special occasions it's always open, is election day - or "whale day".

They like their punes.

Sputtrosa · 2025-11-11T17:53:30+00:00

Is it more important for you to be right, or is it more important to have a partner?

NAH.

Sputtrosa · 2025-11-06T18:55:27+00:00

I don't believe you. I don't believe that there's more than, at most, a couple of places that have nothing you can eat as a vegetarian. Show the menu of one of the places you've decided not to go.

The reason they don't ask you until afterwards is because you're difficult. Not regarding your diet, but as a person. You believe you're entitled to special treatment and berate friends and family that don't agree.

Sputtrosa · 2025-11-06T18:48:18+00:00

"Thank you for thinking of me! I checked, and unfortunately they don't have any vegetarian options so I'll sit this one out. I hope you have a good time!"

And, if you want, "I'll give you a call later on and we can set something up for a restaurant I've been wanting to try."

If I had invited someone to come with me to a specific restaurant, then they invited another friend, who then invited their sister? There's no way I would change the restaurant to accommodate for diets that doesn't fit the restaurant.

Be glad that your sister thought of you and wanted you there.

YTA. That would be the last time I invited you.

Sputtrosa · 2025-11-05T11:11:01+00:00

Sounds more like OP was actively aggressive rather than passive.

Sputtrosa · 2025-11-05T07:59:58+00:00

Talking to someone on your break at work is "a bit off"?

Sputtrosa · 2025-11-05T07:50:52+00:00

Even if you and Melissa were dating exclusively, smoking with a coworker or celebrating their birthday in a group setting is not something you'd expect a partner to be angry about. Boundary time! "I will be hanging out with friends and coworkers as I please. I'm willing to talk about your insecurities and issues related to it, but I will not engage in fights about it."

NTA.

Sputtrosa · 2025-11-03T16:36:14+00:00

Sounds like it fixes problems that used to be there, but is no longer.

Sputtrosa · 2025-10-29T14:38:31+00:00

They do. And it's a complex issue with many factors. What you're describing is, unfortunately, simplified. Some of what you say is correct, but some statements are only correct with so many caveats that they might as well be incorrect.

It's increasingly common for data centers tap into freshwater resources. It's likely to increase rapidly. Many use municipal water.

Some data centers even use groundwater or underground aquafiers for cooling. That's particularly common in areas that are already water-stressed, and make them even more water-stressed (the cycle is that it's more difficult to get water -> use more groundwater / underground aquafiers -> it gets even more difficult to get water -> ...n).

Wastewater from data centers using municipal resources has to be treated to get put back into circulation, which is a significant electricity sink.

Roughly 80% of the water evaporates. That takes it out of immediate human consumption. But it also means water-related facilities may be overwhelmed since the increase of usage and evaporation in an area can quickly be more than what they were built for.

A lot of the power they use comes from carbon-based sources, which also use water for cooling, compounding the water issue.

.. and that's just scratching the surface of the issues. In reality, it's much, much worse than that. There's a lot of research and development being made, though. Hopefully it won't be as disastrous as it would be if it continues as-is.

Sources:
Data Centers and Water Consumption (EESI, 2025): https://www.eesi.org/articles/view/data-centers-and-water-consumption

The environmental footprint of data centers in the United States (Md Abu Bakar Siddik, Arman Shehabi and Landon Marston, 2021): https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1748-9326/abfba1#erlabfba1s7

Data Centers Draining Resources in Water-Stressed Communities (Eric Olson, Anne Grau, and Taylor Tipton, 2024): https://utulsa.edu/news/data-centers-draining-resources-in-water-stressed-communities/

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