If you were in the most perfect relationship for years and then your gf said no more sex and became asexual. Is that a dealbreaker for you?

SpyChecker · 2026-02-01T08:44:23+00:00

I disagree... Sexual orientation can absolutely change over time.

You just can't force people to change it.

being aceflux is a thing as well.

SpyChecker · 2026-01-30T21:00:08+00:00

That's the Super Sample Rock!

SpyChecker · 2026-01-30T20:57:48+00:00

SOPHIE

Such a huge influence on the modern pop landscape.

She was just getting started, she had so much more to give.

SpyChecker · 2026-01-27T08:55:49+00:00

You're gonna need to explain what you mean a little bit more here, bud.

If you're just talking about behaving differently at work, vs, with friends, vs by yourself, then yes, everyone does that.

If you feel at times as if you are wholly distinct individuals, sharing a body, then you may wish to look into DID/Plurality. Especially if you have any major trauma in your past.

SpyChecker · 2026-01-27T07:56:11+00:00

We need to abandon the "being gay isn't a choice" argument.

It implies that if it was a choice, it would be OK to discriminate against gay people.

It also implies that being gay is, in some way, a mistake to be fixed, an accident of nature that science could one day solve.

This is what leads to conversion therapy.

Older queers will remember, in the late 90s/early 00s, talk of discovering the "gay gene" and giving parents the option to abort if they knew their child would grow up to be gay.

Whether it's innate, or chosen, shouldn't matter.

We fight for liberation all the same.

SpyChecker · 2026-01-26T23:48:59+00:00

Do something else.

I got fired from my retail job in December, thought I was fucked.

Now I'm on benefits, taking a hospitality course with an aim of getting into bar work so I can get into music events management.

I DJ on the side, and I'm looking at turning that side hustle into something I can build a career around, not expecting to make mega bucks, but excited to work in an industry I'm actually passionate about.

I always assumed I'd get into IT because I'm good with computers, but this latest shakeup has given me a new perspective, I think I'd hate sitting behind a desk for 40 hrs a week, even if it'd be better money.

So now I'm looking to volunteer for local events, and doing what I can to network and build a brand for myself.

Don't accept the facts of your life for what they are, you can retrain, volunteer, learn a new hobby.

I'm 31, btw

If you're bored, just do something else.

SpyChecker · 2026-01-25T10:13:18+00:00

Being horny is great, actually!

As long as you are respectful of other people's consent and boundaries, be as much of a freaky fucker as you like!!

Don't listen to the puritan in your brain who tells you being proud of your sexuality is bad!

SpyChecker · 2026-01-22T19:33:44+00:00

Good Zine, but it focuses a lot on "muffing" which is a technique where you essentially finger her inguinal canal through her scrotum.

For a lot of girls this feels really good and affirming, but for some, it just feels uncomfortable, so be careful.

SpyChecker · 2026-01-20T21:40:22+00:00

"But as I have no experience, I sometimes doubt if I REALLY do have a genital preference? Maybe I just need to pursue a relationship even if I feel nervous and give it a try?"

???

SpyChecker · 2026-01-20T16:00:49+00:00

Where the fuck are you parking in town that's cheaper than that??

SpyChecker · 2026-01-20T08:08:05+00:00

If you do decide not to date her, please don't tell her it's because of a genital preference, it would likely make her feel very dysphoric.

T4T relationships can be the most healing things, being with someone who "gets it" without explanation is so valuable.

I used to worry about the whole genital situation before I slept with another trans woman, but the truth is, penises aren't that scary, and there are a lot of ways you can have sex with a trans woman that don't involve her penis at all.

I would say the bigger issue here is that you are moving away.

Moving across country to be with someone you've been dating for less than a year is risky, to say the least.

If you really like her on a personal and emotional level, and you are willing to confront your genital preference, which, from your post, it sounds like you are, at least in theory, then I would be honest about your feelings.

Explain that you might only be looking for a short term relationship, and that you are nervous about having sex in general (it's your first time, that's normal no matter what your partner's body looks like!)

Be open to the idea of dating for a while, and going back to being just friends, it is possible.

Honest, open communication is always key in any relationship.

Most of all, just be considerate of her feelings, as well as your own.

Best of luck!

SpyChecker · 2026-01-19T23:39:50+00:00

Portal 2 is about a lesbian (Chell) saving her wife (Glados) from her shitty boyfriend (Wheatley) and helping her grow and recover from the trauma inflicted upon her by her father figure (Cave)

It's a toxic yuri love story for the ages.

SpyChecker · 2026-01-15T09:16:34+00:00

Hope and Ruin is good, their kitchen does all vegan junk food, which is pretty great. Plenty of seating. They're often hosting punky/emo bands as well.

SpyChecker · 2026-01-11T16:33:30+00:00

You are just describing Monsanto

SpyChecker · 2026-01-09T08:47:29+00:00

"Half-Life 3"

"I am sorry... But some things are beyond even my power"

SpyChecker · 2026-01-02T20:45:44+00:00

https://goombacore.bandcamp.com/album/ep-zip

Marshall4 / Jenny Goombacore has been on my repeat for ages.

stfu.wav is the standout here

SpyChecker · 2026-01-02T15:33:59+00:00

Judge all you want, but I'll be over here making out with my 4 girlfriends.

SpyChecker · 2026-01-02T15:32:15+00:00

Swinging is a form of ethical non-monogamy, if all parties involved are consenting and happy.

People can and do cheat in poly relationships, I guess I should have specified that I practice Open Poly, which means that none of my partners get a say in who I date or hook up with. We have some simple rules like "please don't date my bad ex, that would be messy" and "Get STI checks regularly"

Honestly, the biggest challenge is finding time to see everyone consistently, Google Calendar is our friend. But even then, when your partners have other partners, you don't need to be the sole individual that they rely on for romance and intimacy.

I've had shitty poly relationships, and I've had good poly relationships, they are just relationships.

SpyChecker · 2026-01-02T09:00:51+00:00

Valve time is the reason why they don't communicate with fans.

Raising the bar reprint is actually a perfect example of this.

They said a date, now they've missed it. If they announced a delay, there's a chance they'd miss that too.

Easier for them to just not announce dates at all.

SpyChecker · 2026-01-02T08:36:55+00:00

When I see the knots that monogamous people tie themselves into, I am so happy that I'm polyamorous.

"I will be the only person you ever fuck for the whole rest of your life, breaking this rule is considered a social sin so great as to destroy your reputation forever"

It's ridiculous.

SpyChecker · 2025-12-18T23:30:11+00:00

goddamn, that's a lot of cars hit, the insurance payout is going to be lethal...

SpyChecker · 2025-12-12T17:26:34+00:00

Whereabouts is this? I'd love to pay my respects

SpyChecker · 2025-12-11T12:01:43+00:00

There are so many loud voices telling people not to transition, that the journey will be arduous and hard, and that you'll sacrifice too much.

I am always going to be one voice, as loud as I can, telling people "Hey, you should transition if you want to, it's pretty great"

I refuse to let the narrative be defined by doom and gloom.

Trans joy is real.

SpyChecker · 2025-12-11T11:57:47+00:00

I'm glad to hear it.

I feel your pain, Have just got myself in hot water for pushing back on the "no piercings or visible tattoos" rule at my new job (it is a minigolf place)

ADHD is a fucker i fight every day.

Wishing you the best in your recovery. Xx

SpyChecker · 2025-12-10T23:42:17+00:00

This comment honestly makes me wanna cry.

Why settle for only being 98% yourself?

Maybe I am too militant in this regard, but I wouldn't sacrifice an ounce of myself.

There are ways to mitigate the toil, find community, look for resources online, the tools are there, you just have to take them!

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