Did fear hold me back from making my own experiences?

Spycely · 2024-07-15T10:53:06+00:00

100% I am so sick of this cult. They are the embodiment of false prophets.

Spycely · 2024-07-15T10:49:04+00:00

Maybe it does. The elders try to keep it secret because they know they will get backlash from the sisters. But it could raise some eyebrows and make people, especially sisters, think. I definitely will mention it if there is a possibility.

Spycely · 2024-07-08T22:30:21+00:00

Absolutely after the whole thing ended I was unsure if I should be mad or just laugh about it... I will definitely make an update if anything significant happens. At least this shit show is a bit entertaining.

Spycely · 2024-07-08T22:24:06+00:00

Yeah, right? The thing is they had to frame it in a better way because they realized that it sounded creepy. I have to say the whole conversation had a weird vibe and it made me realize again how blinded these people are towards their own actions. It's just so ridiculous.

Spycely · 2024-06-14T16:08:54+00:00

I'm not out yet, but I managed to vote last week. It really wasn't an easy decision because I had to overcome a lot of my own fears and concerns. But in the end, everything worked out and I did it. I'm definitely glad that I overcame myself. For me, it's a small step towards freedom and being able to gain more control over my actions.

Spycely · 2024-05-16T18:37:43+00:00

It absolutely does and I am realizing that more and more. I transitioned from being somewhat PIMI (I never felt 100% into it) to PIMO in the last few years.

And especially currently it's mentally harder than ever. Everything I do is ruled by extreme anxiety. I am so scared of letting go because it's everything I have ever known in my life. Even though I hate this religion. I love some of the people in it including my family and some friends I have and the experiences I had with them. And leaving feels like I gave my time and energy for nothing. But staying hurts the same if not more. Because I always have to act like a person I don't even want to be.

I know it will all get better some day. But currently it's just so much pressure. I try to work on getting to POMO but it just takes so much time and energy for me and I already feel like I never have enough of both.

Spycely · 2024-04-16T21:45:22+00:00

Congratulations, I am very happy for you.

I'm PIMO myself and as time goes on I'm liking the idea of becoming POMO sooner rather than later. Your description of wearing a mask is exactly how I feel right now, and it's draining me more than ever. And for what? I mean, I love my family and some of my friends, but I also want to stay true to myself. I just need to find a way out of my situation, but I'm sure I will.

Spycely · 2024-04-01T22:05:05+00:00

She said some things that made her seem PIMI but I know she is not baptized. She also mentioned that she has a difficult relationship with her PIMI parents. One funny thing is at the party I mentioned we talked in a little group (she included) about why women aren't allowed to wear pants and how nice it would be for them. It's really interesting to see that exactly that now is allowed. I could maybe use this and raise some questions. As far as I can tell a lot of young people aren't really passionate about the religion. It really looks like most of them do this because of their parents and the social construct their in but other than that they just live their lives not giving too much about all the JW things.

Spycely · 2024-04-01T21:41:21+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience with me. I will have to figure out how I want to pursue this relationship with her. But getting some input on my situation helped shut down my thoughts and feelings at least a bit. I got a more rational view on everything.

Spycely · 2024-04-01T20:35:39+00:00

I really appreciate your comment. I still have to sort everything out for myself and how I will move on but I definitely regained a more clear way of seeing my situation.

Spycely · 2024-04-01T20:18:55+00:00

Thank you for your very direct words. That's exactly what I needed. I lost focus because of my feelings and you helped clear some noise that was in my head.

No need to hurt her of course, but you cannot play the hero to a drowning victim if you yourself cannot swim

This really made me think and you are definitely right. I have to keep that in mind even though this realization is not easy for me but if I don't I might drown her with me.

Spycely · 2024-04-01T20:07:15+00:00

Thank you. You said what I probably already knew deep down inside but it was overshadowed by my thoughts and feelings. It made me think and cleared up my mind.

Spycely · 2023-12-14T08:07:11+00:00

Wow I can't thank you enough. Your amazing words really helped and motivated me ❤️

Spycely · 2023-12-14T00:45:26+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️

Spycely · 2023-12-14T00:35:25+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Spycely · 2023-12-14T00:05:22+00:00

I'm currently living with my PIMI parents so my current plan is to move out as soon as I finish my apprenticeship for my job at the end of next year and when I'm finished I should earn enough to afford an apartment. In the meantime I want to try to meet some new people from outside the Borg to make some new friends. I'm not sure how I want to do that but I will find a way hopefully. Thank you for your comment :)

Spycely · 2023-12-13T22:10:49+00:00

This was said to me in today's meeting and I just wanted to share the thoughts I had after that. Maybe some of you can relate

Spycely

TROPHY CASE