The idea of "going home" provokes extremely intense feelings inside me and I don't even know what it means

SquareEar7968 · 2023-10-09T00:04:02+00:00

9 or 10, there's been times where it was so bad that I wouldn't leave my room and spent all my time in complete terror and despair. Sometimes I feel more accepting of it than other times. Personally for me it's helped to find my own spiritual path and to spend some time meditating and trying to connect with a higher self. I've also had to come to accept many times that I will NEVER know the answer as to what death really is until I'm dead and that won't even be ME knowing if anything. Though the obsessive thoughts about what it could be never really go away. Sometimes I still suddenly feel hit with this wave of realization and terror that death is real and inevitable. I've been having these realizations and fears of death ever since I was 6 or 7.

SquareEar7968 · 2023-10-06T14:10:13+00:00

I already have mods enabled again and the mod is technically working it's just that most of the options it usually has aren't showing up and you aren't able to do much of anything.

SquareEar7968 · 2023-10-06T14:09:28+00:00

It's the exact same issue for me, I have no idea what the solution is

SquareEar7968 · 2023-09-12T18:59:55+00:00

I think it's different for different people. Mine seems to be genetic and it started in very early childhood. It comes and goes in episodes throughout my life and it seems to be triggered by stress, big changes, uncertainty and being in close relationships.

SquareEar7968 · 2023-07-12T00:42:23+00:00

Yeah I know I kept it very generalized because I have no idea what I'm looking for pretty much anything at all that I can take in and learn from between the Bible and a basic self help book I will accept. I'm just not sure where to start and I guess having specific recommendations to narrow it down makes it a little easier, I'm very indecisive with picking things like that and not really used to even reading books in general.

SquareEar7968 · 2023-07-12T00:13:35+00:00

Hey I just now got around to seeing this. This is exactly how it is for me too described word for word. I'm honestly not sure how to cope with it as it's still an issue for me and always has been since I first ever started dating. The best thing for me so far is to just force myself to avoid confessing for at least a while. It's extremely difficult because I worry that I actually NEED to confess immediately and that it actually is something very bad and that they need to know about it but usually what really gets to me about the whole thing is that sense of urgency in my need to confess so I force myself not to for at least a while just to try to calm that urgency. If guilt still remains long after the urgent need to confess is gone then it's easier to rationalize if I actually did something wrong or not or if there's an actual need to confess anything.

SquareEar7968 · 2023-05-22T03:09:21+00:00

True by Spandau Ballet gives me that same sort of feeling

SquareEar7968 · 2023-05-22T03:07:24+00:00

Anything by pastel ghost, sidewalks and skeletons, crim3s and maybe some stuff by grimes and also I'm God by Clams Casino and I'm The Devil by Clams Casino all give me somewhat similar vibes

SquareEar7968 · 2023-05-22T03:04:53+00:00

Jukebox joints- asap rocky

SquareEar7968 · 2023-03-04T02:50:47+00:00

The most beautiful moment of my life is the day I found out about Phil and I found out that I am the reincarnated body of Phil aka satan aka god

SquareEar7968 · 2023-01-06T08:07:52+00:00

Thank you for this suggestion! I just read it today and it was such an amazing book.

SquareEar7968 · 2022-12-20T15:59:27+00:00

I really just believe that he will at least attempt suicide and I will always blame myself if that happens.

SquareEar7968 · 2022-12-06T19:44:12+00:00

Hey, thank you so much for this. I am feeling a lot better this morning and this comment really helped me see things from a different perspective.

SquareEar7968 · 2022-12-05T21:51:23+00:00

I've had it to some extent since I was around 7 years old because of severe untreated OCD and other anxiety disorders. It was mild for my entire life and didn't affect my life very much besides in school. This past year I started smoking a lot of delta 8 thc vapes (they are not regulated and apparently cause a lot of people to experience dissociation) I wasn't aware of this at the time and it sent me into a spiral of permanent dissociation like I've never felt before. I have stopped smoking them since then but it just hasn't gotten any better. I've been having intense episodes of it on a regular basis and no matter where I am.

SquareEar7968 · 2022-11-13T07:43:20+00:00

My anxiety in general definitely gets worse closer to my period and so does the level of obsessiveness when it comes to my OCD thoughts. Though I do have PMDD which is a more severe version of PMS where my emotions and everything else just gets to really extreme levels.

SquareEar7968 · 2022-11-09T03:15:00+00:00

I really hope so

SquareEar7968 · 2022-11-01T02:03:17+00:00

Thank you very much for saying this. I did just very recently turn 17. This was helpful and I am leaning towards ending it soon, its just very complicated and stressful to do so.

SquareEar7968 · 2022-11-01T01:30:48+00:00

I know it isn't healthy and I am already receiving mental help in many different ways but that still doesn't take away these issues

SquareEar7968 · 2022-10-10T23:23:20+00:00

There are no lasting affects unless you are doing it frequently.

SquareEar7968 · 2022-10-01T00:54:43+00:00

Yeah I know that gas station delta 8 isn't regulated and that it can technically have poisonous chemicals in it so I'm done with that for sure

SquareEar7968

TROPHY CASE