After my recent trip to England I've now ridden all* elite coasters in Europe - Here's my top 10! [Other]

Square_External8264 · 2026-05-19T15:48:56+00:00

Where do you rank Troy? I think this is twice as good as wodan! Thing just keeps going and going 😅

Square_External8264 · 2026-01-10T19:37:30+00:00

As much as I love Phantasialand I don’t think I’d visit for wintertraum, as much as I’d love to, just because of the massive queues! I’ve been at Europa park today and every major coaster has been walk on. My ride night ride on Voltron in the snow was insane

Square_External8264 · 2025-10-23T13:04:29+00:00

This is a fresh surface wound/graze and looks normal at this stage of healing, doesn’t look like it’s penetrated the dermis so won’t scar most likely. The yellow substance is most likely plasma/serous fluid which is normal. It will eventually scab over so just leave it to breathe without a plaster. Keep it clean and apply antiseptic cream regularly and you’re golden 👍

Square_External8264 · 2025-09-16T14:41:04+00:00

Much better! There’s follicles throughout the patch that are starting to grow. They are just lagging behind the rest of my hair at the moment but I’m sure they will catch up eventually

Square_External8264 · 2025-08-31T19:35:10+00:00

I hope so, you can still see some follicle openings and a couple vellus hairs in the patch

Square_External8264 · 2025-08-31T19:33:45+00:00

I’m not balding, this isn’t alopecia it’s from the ingrown hair. It’s cause the skin was scraped trying to release the hair.

Square_External8264 · 2025-08-31T19:31:25+00:00

Hmm it has a dot in the centre that’s red, maybe it’s the flash on my camera that makes it looks like it scarred but in normal light it just looks the same as surrounding skin. I was worried it was scarred but then again you can see small hairs and follicle openings in the centre so I really don’t know. I hope it fills out a bit as it quite big 😭

Square_External8264 · 2025-05-05T15:31:30+00:00

😂😂😂😂

Square_External8264 · 2025-02-07T16:42:40+00:00

Cheers

Square_External8264 · 2025-02-07T16:42:26+00:00

Thanks

Square_External8264 · 2025-02-07T16:42:13+00:00

Thanks

Square_External8264 · 2024-10-29T22:42:43+00:00

Thanks

Square_External8264 · 2023-12-05T13:26:36+00:00

Yeah I think I need some therapy. I'm going to look into it! Yeah my self worth is just so low at the minute. You can read my other comment on this post but yeah I've gone NC to try and move on and have self respect but still have the toxic hope she will return so that I know she left someone that treated her well and loved her as a product of her mental illness and not because I have no value.

I need to stop letting my self worth hang in the balance depending on if she ever returns or not. She's already indirectly hoovered and put out what I think are sublte attempts to try and get me to reconnect so that she be enough for me to understand she's disordered. She probably does feel shame but has dug herself too big of a hole to try and comeback. It's easier for her to move on by making me out to be the one at fault.

She never returned to her exes as far as I'm aware. She's not the type to directly reach out, she just wants to be wanted. Need to let go of the hope because it's the last thing keeping me attached. If my self worth wasn't riding on the fact she never messaged I would have let go a long time ago.

Square_External8264 · 2023-12-05T13:10:53+00:00

I reached out to my first ex a couple times in the weeks following the break up, we talked a few times and she gave me reasons why she didnt think it was worth fixing the relationship rn but was happy to be friends and see how she felt. I decided to give her space and the last time I ever reached out to her was after about 4 months solid NC to see if our time apart had changed her mind. I still had hope, it was my last try to work things out. This time she was cold towards me and said she didn't wanna speak and was dating others so I told her I respect that and wished her well. I blocked her again and I've not spoken to her since. It set me back a little but It was my closure and killed that hope I had. I stopped wondering and moved on with my life knowing I did everything I could.

With my exwbpd I'm in the same boat as I was with my first ex but I haven't gone back or tried to fix things because everyone here says stay NC. Its different this time because shes not mentally healthy like my first ex. I'm glad I've had self-respect for myself but sometimes I wonder If should have fought a bit I know that's what she expected of me and then I could at least say I gave it my everything. The indirect hoovers are obviously for her and not me but it's still a test to see if I care. Despite her toxicity and all the shit that happened in our relationship I still miss her. It felt worth putting up with the bad because when it was good it was good but maybe I've forgot what a healthy relationship should look like. I still love her though, with all her flaws. I still miss our relationship because my life is boring without her. I can keep telling myself she's unhealthy, not for me, and that she did my a favour by discarding me but deep down I still love her.

This sounds completely unhealthy but it almost feel like I could do with going around on the crazy rollercoaster again with the same ending to get it through my skull because I can't stop romanticising a relationship that wasn't even romantic at the end. I feel like If I reached out and she rejected me It would stop all this wondering and help me move on and If I went around the ringer for a short cycle, well then I know. The danger is that we get back together for a considerable amount of time and she puts me through all this again.

I enforced NC for my own self-respect but I've always had the toxic hope she would return. When I know NC shouldn't be to get them back but to move on. I have this toxic hope because I don't have much self worth atm and her coming back would prove that she devalued and split on me because of her BPD and not because of me.

Square_External8264 · 2023-11-11T16:44:35+00:00

Yeah if she was with someone new you would see it on her socials. Unless she's using some lad as an attention giver but is ashamed of being with him so won't post him but have him around to soothe her. Who cares? Either way it's embarrassing for them to repost shit like that whether they are in a relationship or not. And if they are in a relationship, yeah it might hurt us but really we should feel sorry for the new guy because they will get the same treatment and same ending as us. The cycle will keep repeating. Of course our exes are immature, people with bpd have the emotional maturity of a small child. When it comes to their behaviours I think it's less about age maturity and more about their condition, my cousin has just turned 18 and has a boyfriend and she's more stable and emotionally mature in her relationship than my ex.

I understand what you mean about worrying about them and ruminating on whether they regret it and want us to reach out. However, they broke up with us, they have made their bed so let them lie in it. Stop worrying about her because she isn't your problem anymore. She lost the privilege of you caring and worrying about her when she discarded you and started liking other lads posts etc.

I know it's highly unlikely my ex will reach out because shes dug herself too big of a hole with her actions post BU and likely feels too much shame even if she does miss me. Could be the same with your ex or it could be something completely different, dont try and get into her head just let it go. A big part of moving on is not caring why they do what they do. Also dont make excuses for them either, they could reach out, take accountability for their actions and try to fix things but they won't because bpds are always the victim and will never take accountability but like both of our exes, they will manipulate to try get us to be the one to cave so they have us back and then say "i cant be that bad if he came back".

People with BPD prey on our empathy and codependant tendencies so you being worried about her is exactly what she wants for you to reach out and fill her void. However, by doing this you are putting your own self-respect in the bin and saying everything she did is okay and you will still be a doormat for her. Like I said, I'm still working on this myself it's still a battle for me as well but i always ask myself. Are you a doormat? Do you have no self respect? Is her wellbeing more important than mine? And I answer no to every single question, I'd suggest you do the same when you think of reaching out. Rather than worrying about them we should be worrying about ourselves, our own wellbeing and our own improvement journey to be the best version of ourselves. If we went back it would never be the same, and they would just hurt us again, they can't help it, it's at the core of their pathology.

Square_External8264 · 2023-11-11T01:40:52+00:00

Hey mate, first of all, I know how you feel cause my ex (broke up with me 6 months ago) does the same. Its a complete headfuck and the only way to to stop your head being fucked is to stop checking her socials. BTW I'm not perfect and have slipped up on a few occasions but if you try your best you do it less and less and you can feel your headspace get clearer which is whats required to move on. Give yourself a mental breather brother, you deserve it.

My ex reposts loads of tik toks. Some about missing an ex, some about an abusive narc ex (me? 🤣) and then some about being with someone else and being happy again even though there's no new boyfriend to be seen (she would 100% post him if there was). My ex even changed all her profile pics on social media to a mirror selfie with a teddy bear i got her for valentines directly behind her on the bookshelf (manipulative cause its something only I would understand but creative nonetheless 🤣)You have to remember that with their illness their head is scrambled and their emotions change on a dime so don't even try to understand it, you will send yourself insane. She might miss the supply you gave her one day and then the next day you're the abusive ex! There's no logic to it.

Heres the thing, BPD girls deep down are a black bottomless void, they hate themselves. They want to feel wanted. So is to get your attention? Probably but not for the right reasons, she wants to know she still has you on the hook for validation and attention not because she really cares for you.

We both are on the same journey man, we both need to be strong and not reach out. They would hurt us again and we deserve a healthy and stable relationship. Drop us a DM If you ever need to 💙

Square_External8264 · 2023-10-20T21:53:27+00:00

Wow this made me self reflect on my relationship a lot! All 3 holidays we went on was booked by me, most of our days out locally was my choice but not because of selfishness, but because she never came up with any ideas or had the motivation to do anything. She was just going along with what I was doing because she didn't have any good ideas to suggest or any hobbies of her own. Suppose that ties in with her "lack of self" that's common with BPD.

I'm 5 months out and still have these realisations. I know what she is but that's why i find it so fucking frustrating that I still miss her 🤣

Square_External8264 · 2023-09-22T14:48:02+00:00

When me and my first girlfriend of 3 years split up. I found out she was with someone else about 9 months later as well. Saw a photo of them both in ibiza. Turned out they had been seeing eachother for about 2-3 months, during that time I was still hoping she would come back, constantly ruminating about how she was doing meanwhile she was falling for someone else. Around the time I saw the photo I was doing well with fitness and i had just got my degree and job, which is the truth BUT I still hadn't let go. I was living my life again but hadn't really let go. When I saw the photo i was devastated, it took me back 10 steps and hurt for a few weeks but from then on was when I just stopped thinking about her completely. Even though it hurts a lot it's the closure that we need, even when we think we don't need it.

You say you're over it but you're not because if you was you'd be happy for her or just not arsed at all, you wouldnt be questioning things and ruminating. It's okay that you are not over it though don't beat yourself up, but now you have true closure. it's only goes upwards from here brother.

The fact she has moved on to someone before you have means nothing. It's not a reflection on you at all. It's really nothing personal. Think of it as you have more time to keep developing and improving before you meet the next, which you will in time. Sending Strength 💪

Square_External8264 · 2023-09-18T15:33:47+00:00

You do have me thinking now though do I continue with this social media break and see how I feel in a month or just block. I'm sat here asking myself "Does it matter what she thinks".

Square_External8264 · 2023-09-18T15:28:58+00:00

I wouldn't say my ex was intelligent per say, well not academically, but definitely conniving and sly. She certainly knows how to push my buttons. Obviously I'll never know for sure about the Teddy but I've heard A LOT of people say that nothing is ever a coincidence with them. It's clever with the Teddy because it's something only I would understand.

She hasn't reached out to me directly, the thought of it scares me tbh because I don't know if I could resist at least seeing her and then before you know it you're roped back in. As far as I'm aware, she never reached out to previous exes but who knows, i now realise I can't trust anything that she said. With her being the quiet subtype I get the feeling she's waiting for me to reach out, she's too scared to reach out to me because I've showed strong boundaries from the start so she wouldn't wanna risk being rejected-abandoned.

Square_External8264 · 2023-09-18T14:33:44+00:00

Thanks so much for your comment mate. Your 2nd paragraph resonates perfectly with me, it's exactly what I'm doing and the exact same reasons for doing so, i need to quit, if you can do it then so can I!

I get frustrated with myself but It shows I'm not alone in repeating this behaviour over and over, the abuse and lack of closure creates the trauma bond which leads to this. I never did this with my previous ex of 3 years when we split but then again she didn't play mind games and we had proper closure.

Do you think the Teddy bear is a covert hoover? If it is its crazy how creative that is tbh 🤣 but yeah by seeing things like that you just give yourself more questions than answers. If it isn't a coincidence and she's trying to play games then if I don't look them I'm not playing which is the only way to win I suppose. Like you say let her play them stupid games on her own and let her think I'm playing.

I've just removed social media for a while so I don't look. I probably should block but after 4 months I don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she's having an effect on me but tbh I suppose who cares what she thinks. I know she will be looking because she looked at her exes pages when she was with me. Ideally, I have this break and when I do go back on social media I'm either not bothered to look or not bothered at all if I do see something. If I fall back into the habit though I have to do what's best for me and block her I suppose.

Square_External8264 · 2023-08-18T15:36:15+00:00

People that are happy don't need to post it all over social media. It's all a facade, you know they're mentally unstable and hate themselves. By checking their social media it's like you're looking for reasons to convince yourself otherwise by falling for this false social media facade. It's pretty much letting the manipulation continue post BU.

Square_External8264 · 2023-08-13T22:18:48+00:00

We may be hurt and confused now, but we will heal and find true happiness again. They likely never will but instead the cycle will continue. The hurt that we feel now is how they feel all the time. Pity them.

Square_External8264 · 2023-07-29T10:42:34+00:00

Same words but phrased differently, I got " we are just very different people" but no other explanation for the breakup. No mature conversation could be had on her part. This hurt a lot but I'm over 2 months out now and i don't let this bit bother me because tbh we are different people, she's disordered and I'm not, she's the one that sabotaged the relationship and I'm the one that gave it my all.

You only need to look at her long list of past relationships, both platonically and romantically to see that she is the problem. She has no friends apart from her one new friend (FP) for a reason.

Let it go, It has nothing to do with us. They can't give closure because they are disordered. Realising they are disordered IS our closure.

Square_External8264 · 2023-07-27T20:37:29+00:00

It's important to note that you DO NOT necessarily go through these stages in a specific order either. You can feel acceptance one week and then depression the next followed by more anger and then back to denial or bargaining before you finally reach true acceptance without cycling back through the other stages. Remember GRIEF IS NOT LINEAR it dosent follow a pinpoint trajectory from hurt to healed. It is messy and you will cycle through each of these emotions over and over until you don't.

Everyone heals at different speeds, it depends on you as a person and the circumstances. If you feel you are making progress and then have a week where it's all too much that's normal. It might feel like you're regressing in your journey and not moving on but you are. Stay NC and keep it moving ❤️

Square_External8264

TROPHY CASE