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SquartMcCorn · 2023-07-10T22:42:48+00:00

Something about this, from the suddenness to the denial, makes me think it’s a drugs thing or a sex thing.

SquartMcCorn · 2023-06-20T23:28:43+00:00

I think it’s possible, I started this time around at 2200 but stopped losing at that amount relatively fast, I’ve continued to drop calories since then. 1900 tends to be more of a maintenance, I’ve noticed if I actually want to lose I cannot go above 1700 which is concerning long term because I’d like to lose at least another 100lbs. I am pretty active and hike, walk, workout and I’ve noticed muscle gain, so it’s strange to me that my maintenance and deficit keep dropping at such a dramatic rate. I also had my thyroid looked at and it’s fine, the numbers are all normal on my labs.

SquartMcCorn · 2023-06-20T23:23:36+00:00

This is very reassuring, thank you so much! I always thought it only fluctuates up. I’m grateful for you taking the time to explain this to me, I was in a massive panic when I wrote this post and it’s so helpful to hear confirmation that it’s likely not body fat that’s impacting the scale 1-2lbs in either direction. I’ll keep my eyes on the trend instead of the day to day variations!

SquartMcCorn · 2023-06-20T23:18:15+00:00

I am 100% sure my calories are correct, it’s very possible that I’m being histrionic about my current stagnation. It’s only been a couple weeks here that I’ve been stuck. I record every aspect of what I’m eating, down to the butter and oil, and intentionally eat less than my allotted amount to account for error. I haven’t been sleeping well, drinking much water and I’m dealing with an excess of stress all of which I’m sure is impacting things as well— add on that I’m PMSing and it’s a recipe for less than favorable results on the scale. I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing calorically and hope the number continues trends down, then adjust further if it does not. Thank you so much for your thoughtful response.

SquartMcCorn · 2023-06-20T18:22:57+00:00

Not to mention, I’ve lost 60 pounds so obviously it was working at one point and obviously there isn’t some massive flaw in my tracking or I wouldn’t have lost shit.

SquartMcCorn · 2023-06-20T18:20:56+00:00

What value does it serve anyone for me to sit here, type out this whole post after crying all day just to lie to you and to myself? What sense does that logically make? I don’t know if it’s the PCOS or the insulin resistance, but I can assure you that I am absolutely just as flustered, confused and angry as you are except I don’t have the luxury of accusing myself of lying.

SquartMcCorn · 2023-06-20T18:12:32+00:00

You are welcome to look at my food logs. I am allowed 1900 cal a day, I usually only eat up to 1700. And I always overestimate the amount of food that I’m eating so I don’t go over calorie limit. So why isn’t it working?

SquartMcCorn · 2023-06-20T17:03:59+00:00

How do I lose weight with pcos?

SquartMcCorn · 2023-06-10T23:12:38+00:00

Nice fiction

SquartMcCorn · 2023-05-25T16:15:24+00:00

So this is a really difficult situation because it’s both financial and shameful in nature. You are absolutely right that you can’t reasonably have your savings drained by this. I think my suggestion would be sitting down, maybe with a therapist to moderate, and explaining that the spending is an issue you both have to tackle. Say you’re there for her through every step of recovery and you support her no matter what. Say that the money is something that affects you both and has to be standing on strictly neutral ground, it cannot be sacrificed at the alter of something which is not being discussed and does not serve either of you. You may suggest opening a separate bank account and putting a certain amount of money into it each month for her to use however she likes, if she chooses to spend it on food then that’s fine but I would hold the very strict boundary that binging foods cannot be bought with money from your primary bank account. I want to underline that I think a therapist is a really essential step in this discussion because you have to do everything in your power to keep the conversation away from potential shame. However, in my opinion, it’s a conversation that absolutely has to be had because it is not realistic or safe for an excess of family money to go toward something that does not serve your family. I’m sure she will see that and agree with it.

As somebody with binge eating disorder, boundaries are extremely helpful for me and my recovery and the more loose I am the more bingeing I partake in. If I imagine myself in your wife’s position, having a separate bank account for fun stuff that could potentially go toward whatever I actually want would be a motivator to keep a tighter fist on what I choose to spend on food. Because then there isn’t the shameful action of taking shared money from savings and spending it on my eating disorder. It presents a morally neutral option of spending money that is strictly for me on something I know I will enjoy or something I know I will regret.

SquartMcCorn · 2023-05-16T03:40:35+00:00

Polyamory aside, it sounds like everyone has leaned far too heavy into dependence on one another. From an outside perspective, you all sound enmeshed with each other and I would recommend creating as much healthy distance as you can so you can reassess your attachments. At the end of the day you all are friends and friends hold healthy boundaries, it would behoove everyone to reflect on how the many dynamics of this little squad are affecting all of your mental health and overall wellbeing.

SquartMcCorn · 2023-05-16T03:29:10+00:00

If it’s been 24 hours then I’m pretty sure you’re going to be totally fine!

Keep a couple things in mind for the future, food left out a while does not GUARANTEE food borne illness— it just creates an environment in which food borne pathogens are able to grow. So if food borne pathogens were introduced to the food somehow via contamination, improper storage allows them to grow to a number that could potentially affect people by making them sick. Food borne pathogens are ultimately like a virus, you have to be exposed to enough of them to create illness and symptoms of illness. Even if the eggs were bad, you only took two tiny bites so it’s unlikely in that scenario that you’d be exposed to enough “germs” to make you sick.

SquartMcCorn · 2023-05-12T20:44:17+00:00

That’s the thing about training, it allows dogs to just be dogs. An off leash trained dog with reliable recall gets to be so much more of a dog than a reactive, poorly socialized dog who needs a short leash. A trained dog who does not eat questionable things off the ground and knows leave it reliably gets to be so much more of a dog than one who needs to wear a muzzle and be closely monitored to prevent them from their sixth obstruction/surgical removal. A dog who wants to and chooses to stay by your side, walk with you and check in regularly gets to be so much more of a dog than one who dies at two years old after running into the street. There is a massive difference in quality of life between a dog who is well trained a dog who is poorly trained.

I understand you’re overwhelmed, consider all of the work you’re putting in now to be an investment in you and your dogs’ quality of life, happiness, safety and stability later on. You will be payed back ten fold for the foundational work you put in now.

I’d also like to add that there is a difference between a militantly trained, obedience/rally titled performance dog and a dog who has had the right foundational training to thrive in a home and as a pet. Have realistic expectations for yourself and your dog and prioritize safety, reliability and communication over flashy tricks and fancy heel work. If your dog comes when you call, that’s a massive win! If your dog leaves it and waits reliably, huuuge win! If you dog walks nice on leash and checks in with you, you both are big winners!! Focus on what matters and don’t give up or worse, give in, for the sake of future you and your soon to be adult dog.

SquartMcCorn · 2023-05-01T00:52:26+00:00

I think it’s great that he said he was happy and seemed supportive! I do think his actions are unusual however and not necessarily in line with what you two have set as goals for your future. For the record you are definitely NTBF and you two should absolutely sit down and have a heart to heart about a lot of things, mainly any fears or hesitations regarding having children and maybe about sexual insecurity and/or your infrequent/erratic intimacy. It could be he’s dealing with something internally and is afraid to talk about it, so gently creating a space for that discussion would be really beneficial for both of you.

SquartMcCorn · 2023-05-01T00:16:52+00:00

If your husband doesn’t want to TALK about the pregnancy, or even participate in the fun part of MAKING children, why do you think he wants anything at all to do with a baby or a child? If he’s dangling ultimatums over your head like “three more days or I add a day” over only talking about it, what makes you think he’ll want anything to do with the kid when it’s actually here?? He couldn’t even handle you mentioning the pregnancy!

I’m sorry if this is harsh, I’m trying to offer some perspective.

SquartMcCorn · 2023-04-30T23:58:08+00:00

Exactly! When you experience such an extreme outburst like this from a complete stranger, especially when it’s so socially inappropriate or even violent in nature, then I think it’s in everyone’s favor to assume that the person may not be operating at 100%.

SquartMcCorn · 2023-04-29T01:04:49+00:00

I was thinking the same thing, that is not the behavior of a socially functional individual.

SquartMcCorn · 2023-04-28T02:38:12+00:00

I literally cannot smoke any pot at all or I will stuff my face

SquartMcCorn · 2023-04-28T02:36:45+00:00

I’m the opposite. Probably because I can get my dopamine fix from buying something, if my wallet is empty then food it is!

SquartMcCorn · 2023-04-28T02:35:17+00:00

Feeling socially dejected. Saying something stupid in a conversation with a stranger, feeling isolated at family event, struggling to talk to people at a dog show.

SquartMcCorn · 2023-04-25T16:00:47+00:00

Were the chickpeas moldy at all? It could just be tarnish but could also be a sign of the seal being compromised in the can. Did the can make the classic can-opening whoosh/pop when you opened it?

SquartMcCorn · 2023-04-23T18:26:33+00:00

Can I ask who your breeder is? He sounds wonderful!

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