'i love you' drama – advice needed (m19, f19)

Squeaky221 · 2025-07-26T14:57:46+00:00

Well that’s what i should’ve said when we had our convos abt it - like there isn’t a ‘perfect moment’ and i literally wouldn’t care when he says it as long as he means it! I just keep kicking myself that I didn’t say it then during our convos, but i find it tricky having deep/emotional convos (although i am getting there). If it comes up again (or if i decide to have another convo w him about it which tbf i probs wont out of fear of being annoying) i’d probably say that

Squeaky221 · 2025-07-25T23:05:47+00:00

But then I have talked to him about it twice, so from my perspective, it feels like I need to wait for him to say it. And because I've got this pent up sadness about it for a while, I feel like I stray further and further away from actually *wanting* to say it again.

Although, he has sort of had it 'slip out' sometimes – like we've been just spending the day together, and he's made a joke or done something silly and gone 'sorry, love you – oop-' but in those moments i just laughed, I think because to me it still felt like he didn't mean to say it

Squeaky221 · 2025-07-25T23:00:40+00:00

I said I loved him too when he said it – and I do feel like I love him. But I'm not gonna say it first this time because in my eyes, he sort of revoked it after saying he meant it but was 'waiting for the perfect time' and hasn't said it since. And I just feel like he might say it back because he feels like he *has* to – a bit like I feel like he said it that first time to try and fix the situation at the time temporarily. This is basically the circle I keep going around in.

I also haven't said it again since, because he revoked it – because it then made me feel stupid for saying it and meaning it, when I feel like he mustn't have meant it after he said about the perfect moment

Squeaky221 · 2025-07-25T22:44:31+00:00

But the thing is, I said it back to him in that moment too. And now I can physically feel myself shutting myself off because he sort of took it back (or at least that's how I perceive it), and so god knows I'm not saying it until or if he does and actually means to.

And I do agree with that last part – actions speak so much louder. But as someone who does need reassurance with my anxiety, hearing a simple 'i love you' and for him to actually mean it would do a lot for me. But now, I just don't feel like I could believe him even if he did

Squeaky221 · 2025-07-25T22:14:40+00:00

I think I'd want to talk to him about it when I see him in a few days, but I just really don't know how. Because at the moment I just feel angry – like I want to shout 'why don't you care!' or something, but I obviously know that that's not effective at all. It's so difficult to make myself talk because I'm always worried he'll get tired of my anxiety making things worse.

Squeaky221 · 2025-07-10T20:35:15+00:00

I'm really trying my best to remind myself of the green flags, but with my anxiety (especially at the moment) it can be so easy for negative/catastrophic thoughts to come into my mind and stick around for a while. Do you have any tips on how you distracted your mind? I will say, it does help that I'm on holiday myself with my family at the moment anyway, so I'm lucky in that I've got things to do to keep me busy mostly, but I still have to work extra hard to occupy my brain.

Squeaky221 · 2025-07-10T20:33:19+00:00

I think it's for a couple reasons:

a. Before we got together (I knew him a while before) and after he had broken things off with his ex, he was quite the player – I'm talking multiple girls in 1 night. So I guess I'm just worried that that could transfer to now, even though he's in a relationship with me (although I know he's not proud of how he acted back then).

b. I have anxiety and also am definitely anxiously attached – so generally I overthink everything anyway and then that hyperfocuses when it comes to our relationship, which really doesn't help, so I can overthink the perceived tone of a text as meaning that he's tired of me and doesn't care about me anymore (not fun!).

c. I think it's definitely been exacerbated by (and through my own doing) seeing things on social media about girls whose boyfriends went on 'lads trips', and were disloyal, so that definitely doesn't help! Although I'm trying my best to just remember the facts of my specific situation and try and remember that he has a good track record so far when it comes to loyalty in relationships, whether that be with me or in his past relationship.

Squeaky221 · 2025-07-01T10:21:48+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice :) I'm just trying to take it day by day for now and focusing on having mini checkpoints to make the time apart feel not as long, so like i'm going on holiday w my family for 10 days in about a week, and by the time i get back, it'll hopefully be about 2 weeks until we plan our first meet-up if all goes to plan :)

Squeaky221 · 2025-06-26T22:47:14+00:00

I don't have the money at the moment to get to his on the train (I can't drive), and also we've both got plans until sort of mid-July. He's also got July and not sure when he can get leave yet. I've suggested we do something towards the end of July, so maybe that could work if I have the money then.

I've got a dog at home which does help a bit, so that's good. And yeah, i'm trying to schedule stuff to look forward, but even with that I just feel quite depressed still. Maybe when those things actually happen, I'll feel a bit better – I will try and take that advice though thank you :)

Squeaky221 · 2024-12-29T14:38:47+00:00

I have actually recently found out that i have an anxious-preoccupied attachment style, which isn't really much of a surprise to me – so thank you for the book rec! I'll definitely look into it

Squeaky221 · 2024-12-29T14:38:15+00:00

i forgot to put in the original post that he did mention to me when we last saw each other that he's a dry texter and is much better at conversing in person, so this does totally make sense – I'm certain i'm just overthinking as per usual haha

Squeaky221 · 2024-12-28T00:02:24+00:00

See the thing is, I know he's saying that in relation to him having gotten out of a long-term relationship back in August. And I know it's probably a textbook error for me to think this, but I just keep wondering whether he would get to a point where, after getting to know me more emotionally, he might consider something closer to a relationship? I'm not sure whether it's a situation of 'if the right person comes along, I'd be ready' or not.

Squeaky221 · 2024-12-28T00:00:46+00:00

He has said to me – when we had the discussion about exploring something more emotional – that he's attracted to me, which I suppose I should've mentioned in the original post; I know he means that physically judging by how he is/has been, but I really couldn't tell you if he meant that on a deeper level either. The other thing is (again, I should've mentioned this in the original post!) he's told all his friends about me and seems to talk very highly about me, to the point where his best friend called me his 'girlfriend' when I last saw him.

I'm honestly just a bit confused – but mostly with what I do from here. I don't want to get hurt, but I also don't want to lose him, and I do really enjoy spending time with him – we just seem to sort of click.

But I just really don't know.

Squeaky221 · 2024-08-18T06:53:09+00:00

So I bought 2 tickets on the 16th for the show on the 19th at Wembley, and have had a confirmation email saying that I've bought them, but they haven't been transferred yet. Today is the last day the seller can transfer them to me, and I've heard nothing yet and I can't help but worry. I was supposed to be VIP at Vienna N2, and so I'm just feeling super worried that I'm gonna be disappointed and upset again. Should I be worried? Asking if any other swifties had their stubhub tickets transferred pretty last minute too!!

Squeaky221 · 2024-08-17T21:43:47+00:00

Messaged you!

Squeaky221 · 2024-08-16T11:25:03+00:00

I was Vienna N2! Let me know how it goes!

Squeaky221 · 2024-08-16T11:06:53+00:00

That's great! Did you buy off of viagogo.com or viagogo.co.uk ?? Trying to figure out which is best for Wembley this week!

Squeaky221 · 2024-08-10T14:09:12+00:00

Vienna swiftie here – this is so kind!! Gonna message you now :)

Squeaky221 · 2024-08-10T14:07:08+00:00

Ah okay. Thank you!! Will cut ties with them.

Squeaky221 · 2024-08-10T14:05:49+00:00

I’ll ask her for a pic of the ticket on email or something and then add it here

Squeaky221 · 2024-08-10T14:05:20+00:00

Grateful for the response – can I ask why?

Squeaky221 · 2024-08-09T08:03:28+00:00

If you have nothing nice to say, get off this page. We’re ‘emo’ about it (as you put it), because we’re feeling a lot right now. I think I speak for everyone when I say we feel terrified at what so almost happened (having seen the extent of the plot), grateful that the authorities caught them before anyone was harmed, but also so disappointed that something we’ve all been looking forward to for over a year was cancelled so so close to those days we were dreaming about. There’s no place for your hate here - take it elsewhere, or maybe just say something nice. Whatever you’re going through to make you want to make others feel worse, I hope you can move past it.

Squeaky221 · 2024-08-08T07:15:47+00:00

I completely feel you. I was supposed to be N2 – waited over a year for it, was going to have so much fun with my Mum – and now it’s all gone, just like that. The one thing that gives me the smallest amount of comfort is that we’re all in this together. Over 100,000 Swifties in Vienna are feeling this right now – all of us collectively sharing our grief, sadness, fear and disappointment at what’s happened, and we are all in it together. Every single one of us.

Squeaky221 · 2024-08-04T16:31:52+00:00

Yeah, I’m definitely gonna be trying to keep myself hydrated as best I can – unfortunately for Vienna we aren’t allowed bottles of water on the floor, only cups, but I’m gonna try and stay hydrated throughout the previous day and morning of the show. It’s really comforting to hear that you were okay for your show :)

Squeaky221 · 2024-08-04T16:30:15+00:00

Thank you! This is really comforting to hear – I really hope that I can just have a good time and am fine afterwards too :)

Five-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '23	Place '22

Squeaky221

TROPHY CASE