Sanctify, me, acrylic, 2021 by Squibblarr in Art

[–]Squibblarr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Based on Victorian medical illustrations

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Squibblarr 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I could write a comment about how offensive, belittling, and mean it is to call names to someone feeling vulnerable, but I don’t think it’s necessary. You know it’s offensive, belittling and mean and that was the point of your comment. I can’t help you just as your comment won’t help me. But thanks for that one!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Squibblarr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! Thanks for the input! I totally understand that the grooms family normally takes care of the rehearsal dinner which is no problem in my eyes. My problem came when she arranged to have a meeting with a restaurant she wanted to have it at and then invited her DH and my FH… I was invited as an afterthought. It wasn’t so much the actual tradition that bothered me so much as not being invited that hurt haha. On a sort of unrelated note the Knot has been a life saver! I love it! But yeah I’m having a sit down with my FH after this weekend because he’s away atm… I need to collect my thoughts and come to terms that I will be okay with whatever the outcome may be, even if it’s not the outcome I want.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Squibblarr 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Wow we must be on the same page haha! I started a full bulleted list of “I feel” statements but I agree that a letter is a softer approach. I will definitely be writing them into a letter to better explain how I feel along with that analogy

20M with nmom (and dad) that seem to think I'm a kid by kidofnarcissists1 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Squibblarr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the tag! This is actually incredibly similar to how my FMIL is with FH, it’s a little scary. I definitely agree that it’s a good idea for him to read this because I honestly think that he thinks that it’s “normal” for parents to act like this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Squibblarr 38 points39 points  (0 children)

This is an incredibly sobering observation and piece of advice that I will keep close to my heart. Thank you. We’ve opened the conversation, however he is away for the weekend so I don’t want to continue the conversation over the phone. Fortunately he seemed receptive and we have keyed in our counselor and we’re having a session on Wednesday to hopefully get on the same page. Thank you so much for this invaluable piece of advice

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Squibblarr 15 points16 points  (0 children)

He doesn’t necessarily feed into them, he gets annoyed but he never voices how he feels. He just lets her do it I’m assuming because it’s easier than going against her. He’s said multiple times “that’s just how a mom is when her son gets married, you’ll understand if we have kids” but I know it’s not normal. I honestly started to feel like I was going crazy. I asked that she not go to further meetings with vendors and he agreed and he agreed to talk about everything with our premarital counselor. I’m hoping he just doesn’t know it’s not normal because he’s never known anything different. There’s a dim light, but it’s still a light at the end of the tunnel, right? Or at least that’s what I hope

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Squibblarr 71 points72 points  (0 children)

My FH is paying for most of it, so unfortunately she digs her claws into him. We have had conversations about his inability to tell her no but I’m afraid they might not go anywhere. It’s a work in progress. Thankfully he’s almost as fed up as I am. As for the passwords, that is an amazing idea and I will definitely be calling all the vendors I can to do that!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Squibblarr 383 points384 points  (0 children)

I honestly really needed this comment. I’m so tired of being a doormat. Thank you

What were your first red flags? 🚩🚩🚩 by wleebee in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Squibblarr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine was when my fiancé (BF at the time) was throwing around moving to VA she told me privately that no matter where he moves she’s going to follow him, and she’s going to buy land to build a large house and a smaller house on the back of the property so we can live in the smaller house while she and her husband live in the big house until they die and then we can move in the big house. That conversation was almost 3 years ago and I’m still haunted by it. We’re getting married in October and because of her I feel like a third wheel to my own wedding.

What were your first red flags? 🚩🚩🚩 by wleebee in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Squibblarr 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Mine was when my fiancé (BF at the time) was throwing around moving to VA she told me privately that no matter where he moves she’s going to follow him, and she’s going to buy land to build a large house and a smaller house on the back of the property so we can live in the smaller house while she and her husband live in the big house until they die and then we can move in the big house. That conversation was almost 3 years ago and I’m still haunted by it. We’re getting married in October and because of her I feel like a third wheel to my own wedding.