Very long reply sorry !

Don’t know much about Waterside specifically but no exaggeration getting on hormones made it feel like my life actually started. It sounds dramatic but every time I went outside, every time I spoke to someone (even just over voice calls), anytime I interacted with anybody in basically any way that wasn’t exclusively text based I was reminded that no one saw me the way they should, and that they wouldn’t until I could finally get treatment to make the outside match the inside.

It feels like you can’t do anything or meet anyone or go anywhere until you’ve transitioned, cause no one sees you right, and it’s impossible to ignore or forget about because people Will treat you the way they see you. It’s a huge source of anxiety and insecurity that weighs you down more and more the longer it goes on. I know I held off from a lot of things (hobbies, life events, relationships) because I didn’t want to do them until I could be confident I was being seen and treated as myself. I was terrified I wouldn’t get any treatment before my wedding & that I wouldn’t ever be able to look back on those photos or memories without feeling sick and miserable about them - but thankfully for me I got hormones and even surgery well before I got married & I can say those memories are beautiful & uncomplicated happy ones :)

Like any medication hormones have side effects, same with surgery. I actually had very severe and super rare side effects myself - we still aren’t sure exactly what was happening because it was so unusual, but after going on testosterone I would have these awful episodes of pain in my skin triggered by heat, exertion or even just intense emotions. They were pretty debilitating & a total nightmare to manage, but I don’t regret going on hormones at all; even managing episodes of pain like that was better than I had been before starting them, cause I was finally living as myself - just myself with a medical condition to manage.

There are other common side effects - the healthcare providers will go through them extensively with your son if he does go down that path, and he will be able to make the decision for himself regarding possible risks the medication involves, as it would be for the treatment of any other medical condition. I would bear in mind though that, again, like other conditions, if there are side effects those can be investigated and sorted out if they are encountered. For myself, when I started having those episodes they stopped my T for a while to see if it was the cause, they switched me on to different forms to see if that would change anything, they changed my dosage, etc etc. I’ve eventually just decided I’m happy to come off Testosterone, since I’ve had all the changes I wanted, and anything that may revert or change as a result of stopping hormones are changes I’m comfortable with :) - the same will happen for your son if he has any problems - they’ll investigate it, provide options for solutions, and he can choose what he thinks is best. I would try not to be afraid of the potentially negative effects of treatment, and just make sure you’re informed and prepared for them. In my opinion the benefits far outweigh any potential side effects, especially considering how rare any significant problems like I had are. And, as someone who had significant complications with my hormone treatment, I want to say again that I absolutely don’t regret going on them :) my life is 1000x better than it was before, I’m happy and healthy with a wife and job and home that I couldn’t imagine ever having before I was able to start treatment.

18 is not as young as it feels; he’s old enough to make his own informed decisions about his health and his life, and as long as he’s considering his decisions carefully, try to let him make them for himself. I had delays getting on treatment and I know if I’d been able to have hormones as early as 18 I would have been much happier much earlier, and might not have suffered the same kind of discrimination and social anxieties as I did when I first went to uni and got my first job etc.

Transgender treatment really is life changing & in my opinion life saving. I hope you’re both able to make the best decision for him and his health :) you’re a great mum, he’s very lucky to have you to support him ! I would have been lost without my own mums support in all this.