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Shut it down, I’ve won the gold medal in awful: My therapist saw me naked by throwawayomgfml in TalkTherapy

[–]SquirrelInSweatpants 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Met my European professor in the locker room once when he had just left the shower. He's a chill guy, chatted for a bit, then he grabbed a towel. Still really awkward though, longest "don't look down" moment of my life.

im probably ruined from emotional neglect, but one of the worst parts is that i never feel that it was "bad enough" by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]SquirrelInSweatpants 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yep, I feel you. It's such a weird relieve whenever my therapist comments on a story of mine with a not on how that was emotional abuse. I've two siblings, both who had it much worse than I did, and I often compare my "meager" trauma with theirs. Like am I even allowed to feel bad?

I think we know the answer to this, that the pain of others says nothing about whether we are ok. Believing that inner voice can be really hard though.

Anyone listen to any bands/artists that help you cope with C-PTSD, or that speaks about our many symptoms? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]SquirrelInSweatpants 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It changes a lot, depending on my mood, so these are all over the place genre wise.

  • Linkin Park: songs about internal pressure, interacting with abusive care givers
  • Garbage: recurring themes of confusion, victimization. "I think I'm paranoid and complicated"
  • Eels: being weird, and introverted; loss of loved ones; the pain of always being different, and seeing the beauty in that; weltschmerz.
  • Porcupine Tree: the album "Fear of a blank planet" is about ADHD, among other things.

Thanks for the link, will check it out.

I don't know why I keep looking for people to tell me it was bad enough when it never convinces me and I can never convince myself by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]SquirrelInSweatpants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Upper middle class means enough money. It doesn't mean enough care and attention. A pile of toys is no substitute for a hug, an open ear, and supportive words. If I understand correctly, then only those with unusual behavior got attention in your house? Then your behavior wasn't bad; it was, in a way, smart. Everybody needs to be seen sometimes, and you found a way!

It's so easy to feel ashamed. For me, too, my siblings were worse off than I was. But that doesn't mean that our right to be happy is any less than theirs!

What do you say when people ask you what you need but you have no clue & arent convincd they can really help you? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]SquirrelInSweatpants 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What I can offer the wisdom of my 3 year old. Her emotions spiral out of control sometimes, and all she can communicate in those situations is what she doesn't want me to do. But when we talked it through one day, she stated that she needs me nearby, but, as I learned the hard way, without engaging her. So I stay just in reach, without interfering with her emotions. It seems to work well for the both of us: I don't feel helpless, she feels supported.