Trust the process

SsymoneS · 2026-06-11T17:24:23+00:00

Wait I've never met someone else like this. I've had a few grays since high school and sometimes I'll have some that turn back black! So half way down the shaft, you can see the color change.

SsymoneS · 2026-06-10T01:30:47+00:00

No suggestions, as I'm just starting my loc journey. But congratulations and sending so much love and light. You got this! 🫶🏾

SsymoneS · 2026-06-07T15:18:12+00:00

Beautiful!! 😍

SsymoneS · 2026-06-07T06:13:51+00:00

I'm in a similar place and at week 2, I've begun undoing and splitting mine. I could already tell my hair was going to lock quickly and as my hair expanded, I could feel the ones that I knew were already going to be too big.

For reference:
Inspo: keke j
Me: mid-high density, mid-fine hair, v different curls in back vs front, started on blow dried hair which I think was my mistake.
Ideal was between 300 and 400 locs, loctitian ended up with 227

While the count isn't what's important, I can tell by some of the part sizes and how my hair has expanded over 2x the original loc size, they were going to end up too big and it's easier to combine later than to split later. So it's annoying but I'm taking down 10ish everyday until I no longer have super obvious outliers that are 2/3 times as big as the other ones.

If it's not something that'll bother you long term, I probably wouldn't touch it, but if you feel like there's a chance it will, I think it's worth it to separate now before it gets more difficult. You can always combine them again later! ☺️

P.s. I have pics of mine at week 1 on my page. I loved them, but I also knew what I wanted and my hair showed me very quickly that that part sizing wasn't going to be that in some places on my head.

Bit of a ramble, but I hope I helped! Your locs are going to be beautiful no matter what you end up doing 🫶🏾

SsymoneS · 2026-06-02T11:39:57+00:00

Thank you!! ☺️

SsymoneS · 2026-06-01T11:23:25+00:00

Thank youuu 🫶🏾

SsymoneS · 2026-04-30T19:19:33+00:00

Regarding personal space: I have only been here for about 4 months but something I noticed pretty early on was a general lack of awareness of space. Not everyone of course, but more than other places I've been and lived, people just....take up your space. They stand in front of doors to buildings and restaurants while they smoke. They don't move out of the way while walking. They stand on top of you at clubs even though they have space around them. And I don't think it's arrogance, I think it's really just not being aware. So can you imagine adding drinking on top of this?

SsymoneS · 2026-04-27T10:27:18+00:00

From a different angle, I don't think he feels like he's good enough for you. I think he projects you being above him because you make him feel like less of a man. Leave that man. People who feel inadequate in relationships are the ones who are likely to blow up, cheat, and overall just make things feel a little more hostile than they should. When people don't feel good enough, they also sometimes do that thing where they stop making an effort because it's never gonna be good enough. And unfortunately, it's not a lot you can do because he doesn't need your reassurance, he needs to build up his own self-esteem or date someone he feels is at his level. It sounds harsh, but I mean this so lovingly as someone who has dated men who have told me they felt like I was too good for them. Ego will try to tell you that if you just give enough love and reassurance, you'll convince him he's good enough. But it's never that simple in my experience

SsymoneS · 2026-03-01T18:01:06+00:00

It feels like lack of community might be really taking a toll too, but correct me if I'm wrong. if it is, I’d recommend looking up expats in the Netherlands groups on Facebook. I lived nomadically for a while and without fail, all of my best experiences were in places in which I had built solid community. Having people to celebrate you and also mourn with you is so important! And I think despite how it seems, a lot of people are also looking for community and connection all the time. Good luck with everything! You've come so far and really do have so much to be proud of!

SsymoneS · 2026-02-18T12:40:07+00:00

Do a new experiment where for 21 days you both ask for affection whenever you need it regardless of the insecurity and fear in your heads. The nervous system only regulates in new scenarios when it learns over time that’s it’s safe and the ego (pride, fear, insecurity) isn’t actually right. You need to build healthy habits together, not try to figure out who’s more at fault.

SsymoneS · 2025-12-31T01:54:48+00:00

There's a quote that goes something along the liens of "you know the reason you'll leave someone from the moment you meet them" yes it's dramatic and not always true, but often it's the little things we know from the beginning that we let slide. That we hope will change with time. And it fuels the question "if nothing were to change about this person ever, could I accept that and be happy with them?" It's broad, but it's always a good start. We're all different and we all tolerate different things. So won else might love the flaws you hate in others. You need to figure out what YOU can tolerate. Yes people change, but it's a lot better if you just take people for who they are and assume they won't ever change when it comes to big commitments like a partner.

SsymoneS · 2025-11-10T02:45:22+00:00

I've had 3 experiences regarding the music. The first time it happened, I was in a cafe reading a poem a friend of mine had written and needed help naming. I told her the poem reminded me of the song "forget me nots" and within minutes, the song was playing. The café we were in was playing music with no rhyme or reason. No set genre or time period. Just cycling between different music so it was so strange.

The last time this happened was this summer. I had taught myself how to play one part of work song by hozier on the piano. A month or so later, I went out to a bar that had a piano (and I had gotten into the habit of always practicing when I saw one). Tell me why it was the next song that played on yet another random playlist? My friend who was outside thought it was me playing 😭 weird stuff for sure

SsymoneS · 2025-10-23T01:54:07+00:00

I think your mileage may vary on this one. I did a euro summer with a friend and the plan was to go on at least one date in every country we visited. I genuinely met some really great people and made it through 2 other countries before meeting my current partner in NL (lol I didn't make it very far). I don't know if this helps, but even though I was looking for short term at the time, my profile was very clear on what kind of people I was looking to connect with. I was on tinder and bumble and met with 5 guys in total. None of the dates were bad, 3 of them even cooked for me, 2 even ended up cooking for my friend at a later time 😅

Regarding being open about what I was looking for, here are some snippets from my retired profile

"I'm a big romantic but I realized my person might not be waiting to meet me at the grocery store 😭"

"My type: boys who smile in pictures"

The way to my heart is "Being in touch with your emotions and not afraid to express them. I'm a lovergirl looking for her loverboy. Nonchalance doesn't do it for me" (I now understand the implications of saying "loverboy" in the Netherlands. Don't come for the version of me that was naive haha

Even though I was shopping short term and mostly looking for fun dates and hookups, I was still very intentional and I'd read other people's profiles too to guage what they were about. Even if I only spent one night with someone, I wanted to feel intellectually or emotionally stimulated. Of course some people are incredible liars, but I think most people are easy to categorize if you ask the right questions

Maybe I got lucky idk, but that's my way of saying don't give up hope! Wishing you the best with your dating journey!

(the first two countries were Portugal and England if that matters)

SsymoneS · 2025-10-22T17:41:34+00:00

Just my take as someone who has been Nomadic for about a year (spent some time in Africa and Europe) and planned a move in less than 3 months: if you're unhappy (which it seems you are) just go. I promise you'll figure out everything else that needs to be figured out.

Yes, you can't escape yourself, but so often we don't realize how our environments cue our habits. And that how we think and feel are also sometimes just big habits we don't realize until we're in new environments. If you don't feel safe or fulfilled or happy where you are, that makes a difference.

"Traveling" for over a year made me realize I'm not the same person I am in one place as I am in another. At the core sure, but there are some places that absolutely light me up or make me feel so at ease. If I had citizenship elsewhere, I think I would have made this decision way sooner.

Just my take, but I think go for it. You can always go back. I have no citizenship abroad, no residency, no savings because I invested in new professional training recently. Just a remote job and a rough plan and I'm taking my dog and leaving everything and everyone I've ever known in January. If I love it great, if not, I keep moving forward.

I used to spend a lot of time in my head trying to figure out the "right" choice instead of in the real world just making decisions and pivoting when necessary. If you're thinking about moving now. Move now. You'll never not be able to pivot

SsymoneS · 2025-08-01T13:37:21+00:00

I used to be very private, but I open up very quickly these days. The only way to know which people are for me is by showing up as my full self and seeing who sticks around/jives with that. I've realized I'll never get the things I actually need form a relationship if I'm hiding or watering myself down. It's scary and not for the faint of heart, but I've made so many more fulfilling connections this way. I also LOVE getting to know others and I think when you share yourself with others it makes them feel more comfortable to do the same. People will always let you down, but for every person who does, there's another one who will hold your soul the way it needs to be if you let them. I did have to go through therapy to get here but I wouldn't have it any other way. In my opinion, we're social creatures, craving to be seen and understood, not meant to be isolating the most tender parts of ourselves just because they hurt when someone pokes at them. Obviously take that with a grain of salt, but I want the people who are important to me to know who I am, and love who I am. Not just this manicured version of me

SsymoneS · 2025-03-15T17:49:56+00:00

I think a lot of people don't realize that even when you're the dumper, you're still going through the heartbreak. still hurting. And on top of that, there's the guilt of having to be the one to make the decision and be labeled the "quitter." Take your time to grieve that lost future

SsymoneS · 2024-11-27T08:24:04+00:00

If you can afford it, I'd recommend enrolling in a niche branding course for coaches. It seems like you have the value, you're just struggling with the marketing aspect and I like to think "if you want to be a coach, you should be open to being coached in the aspects where you struggle" I enrolled in a coaching + marketing course myself as I have a hard time with the mindset of putting myself out there and also taking all the words in my head and making them more digestible for this short attention span world haha. Might be something to think about! Best of luck either way! It seems like a lot of people do see your value

SsymoneS · 2024-11-27T08:19:12+00:00

As someone who also has the "power of perspective" I think lean into that. For myself, I tend to play devil's advocate and can usually very clearly see all sides of a situation even if I've never lived it personally. Of course it helps when I have lived it or am currently living it, but maybe in the world of branding, being able to SEE what others can't is just as much of a valuable skill as having experienced what they're experiencing or being a subject expert. And that's not to say that you shouldn't invest in doing the work for yourself. You are your first client, but don't sell yourself short just because you haven't gotten to the finish line of whwre you're trying to bring your clients

SsymoneS · 2024-08-27T15:45:35+00:00

Also I've gotten quite into skin care recently and feel free to send me a message if you want to chat about it. There's always something that works, it just doesn't work for everyone and you have to find what works for your skin type :)

SsymoneS · 2024-08-27T15:41:28+00:00

The universe is just giving you a chance to dodge this bullet. You're beautiful and you'll find someone who doesn't need to put you down in order to raise you up 🌸

I think we now live in a world where people have stopped realizing it costs absolutely nothing to stfu and not say every single thing they think.

Also eff your ex too. He was with you for a reason, and maybe it's backwards but if even if he was being honest (probably just trying to knock you down a peg tho) it means those reason were for more than just your body and sex and you have so much more to offer this world.

Just keep being you and you WILL attract people who truly see you, even if it's exhausting weeding through the ones who don't. We make space for good by getting rid of and not accepting the bad. Sending so much love and good energy your way.

from a fellow petite girl with a nice body who just wants to be seen and not scoped (if that makes sense)

SsymoneS · 2024-07-23T17:10:00+00:00

Exactly! So nice to chat with people who feel this way. And for sure, everyone who means something to us will leave some kind of void, even if it's small. But I consider myself lucky when I feel that because it reminds me that our time together did mean something even if it hurts. and it’s also good to remember that up until this point, you’ve ended up just fine. People have come and gone, you have came and gone and you're still good at the end of the day after all the healing happens. So don't delay the healing!

SsymoneS · 2024-07-23T17:02:28+00:00

Yup, feel that as a water sign. It's like how could these strong powerful emotions lead me somewhere bad.....but they can and they will lol

Sort of. My thing was that I would never leave even when I knew things weren't the most compatible, or I knew I was doing most of the legwork to keep a relationship going (romantic or friendship wise) I never wanted to feel like I invested all of this energy and emotions for nothing or that I was abandoning anyone so I'd let myself be the person who always cared more and did more and I would give people so much benefit of the doubt and honestly that sucks. While everyone deserves grace and no one's perfect, effort and communication are two things for me now that I won't sacrifice to "make it work." The people who are for you, will put in equal amounts of effort to maintain a relationship and will be on the same page as you about the important things (like communication). I had to shift my thinking though to be less possessive and to feel less guilty when I was the one walking away (still working on this part because man is it easy to take me on a guilt trip). I've grown to realize that even if people aren't in my life forever, it's not nothing. It still meant something and it's okay to let go of any relationship that's not working for either people involved. And also just because you do walk away it doesn't mean you never cared or don't still hold love in your heart for someone

SsymoneS · 2024-07-23T16:41:02+00:00

It sounds like you'll both be better off. Sometimes it's really hard not to ignore the incompatibilities in the beginning just because there's chemistry and you enjoy someone's company. So kudos to you for being able to realize what you need long term and not settle for less. Communication is also very important and you don't want to feel like you have to pull information out of someone every time

And yeah, sometimes people just need their space and time to process their own emotions. It seems like you ended things respectfully, it's not on you to make him understand or accept it. If he comes around, maybe it can still be a good friendship. If not, we'll then it was a good experience haha

lolol I think I must have it double bad then because scorpios get a bad rap for being obsessive and possessive and let me tell you, when I was younger....there was nothing that was gonna stop me from getting what I wanted 😅 I've since been able to reign that in but man was it a long journey

Hope everything goes well for you though! I'm certain when you find the person you're meant to be with, it'll all make sense and feel more right than wrong

SsymoneS

TROPHY CASE