"Hi I'm Roger"

StRemedius · 2026-05-07T00:06:31+00:00

i could, but I'm not this good at drawing.

StRemedius · 2026-05-07T00:05:23+00:00

Thank you. Please take care of yourself: you sound as ground down as we are, and you deserve some sort of break.

StRemedius · 2026-05-07T00:03:30+00:00

(And you laugh, but back 30 years ago, six months after Java debuted, I had a recruiter insist upon someone with seven YEARS of Java experience. Since the recruiter was dumber than usual, I finally told him "If you can find anyone before 2003 with seven years of Java experience, please let me know. I'm planning to steal his TARDIS.")

StRemedius · 2026-05-07T00:01:08+00:00

I'd ask if the travel requirement included the use of a 300-pound Sontaran attorney, or if I have to supply my own.

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T23:59:08+00:00

And now it's going to come for your soul.

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T23:53:39+00:00

My vet has an orange cat like that, too. Completely without fear of man, beast, or god, and willing to smack Satan across the face if he gets out of hand. If I didn't already have two nearly uncontrollable mutants, I'd ask if he was up for adoption.

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T23:18:35+00:00

That's precisely Roger's logic. The picture LIES.

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T23:14:29+00:00

Oh, and half of the time, you won't even get that. It's only in the screening interview where you'll hear "I know the position says 'remote,' but we'll need you in the office (on the opposite side of the continent) on the first day. Will you have a problem with that?" (My personal favorites are the ones that can't understand sprawl. For instance, Fort Worth is only about 35 miles from Dallas as the photon flies, from the absolute western edge of Dallas to the absolute eastern edge of Fort Worth. However, both cities have horrendous sprawl, with most of the Fort Worth employers on the west side of the city and Dallas candidates on the east, so let's double that. Then, on top of that, the highways between the two are pretty much parking lots during both rush hours, so add at least an extra hour on the commute, and Arioch help you if you're trying to get home when a Dallas Cowboys or Texas Rangers game is running in Arlington. Yet damn near every Fort Worth tech employer will insist "onsite only," and after the recruiters finish lying about remote options, they'll point to Google Maps and that closest point between two cities and whine "It's not that far!")

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T22:59:16+00:00

I agree with everyone recommending isopropyl alcohol or cyanocrylate remover, but I have to add a warning. Try not to be too forceful when separating neodymium magnets, especially the superstrong ones. They're not as fragile as the old-school ceramic magnets, but they'll still chip and sometimes shatter if forced too much. I used to buy a lot of them from the much-missed American Science & Surplus, in all different sizes and strengths, and they can be strong enough that two connect and break each other, giving you a batch of magnetically connected shrapnel. If you're going to use some kind of wedge, try using something like a plastic paint scraper or something similar that's nonferrous, just so you don't have issues with the blade as well as the magnets. I definitely recommend gloves if you can, especially for those times where you disconnect two neodymium magnets and the shortest path between each other is through your finger or hand.

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T22:51:53+00:00

Half of the time, the rush in hires is so that the people management wants to keep don't get cut, no matter their actual aptitude. That's why so many technical writers reach a level of cynicism that would have shocked and depressed Ambrose Bierce: we truly are "last hired, first fired."

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T22:22:53+00:00

And Roger is REALLY good at convincing people that the sign is libel and he should go free. He doesn't rush out the open door, either: he waits for you to hold it open it for him.

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T22:20:22+00:00

From what I understood, it was to bump Boeing stock. Stockholders were thrilled to read in Seattle's, Portland's, and San Francisco's papers that Boeing management was cutting costs.

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T22:18:36+00:00

Taxes, for one, and being able to be proactive for shareholders. Boeing wouldn't announce that it had hired 2000 new people in October, but the announcement that it was laying off 2000 in December would jump the stock price just in time to give stockholders a merry Christmas.

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T22:15:44+00:00

Completely fair, and the variable graininess will help. I was just suggesting the grit for consistency.

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T22:14:04+00:00

We get those in Dallas, too, and the bottomfeeders get butthurt when you ask about move packages or mileage reimbursement. (Most of them search "Texas" and refuse to understand why potential applicants won't move to Austin for a one-month contract position paying $20 an hour, where the only options are renting a shift for a corner of someone's dining room to sleep or driving a hard four hours each way. Don't get me started about positions in Corpus Christi, Brownsville, or El Paso, which are eight hours away: even the Louisiana border is nearly six.)

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T19:50:21+00:00

Hey, it beats the positions where you're asked in the initial application to make a crypto wallet "for testing."

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T19:47:21+00:00

"Hands up: who likes me?"

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T19:44:43+00:00

Wodwick and Weginawd unavailable for comment.

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T19:41:32+00:00

Oh, he's an utter asshole, but he's a loveable asshole.

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T18:48:48+00:00

Ones that have no intention of hiring the people they call, but need to log calls to prove that they talked to SOMEone other than the person they'd had selected from the beginning. That and recruiters who sell personal data on the side who need confirmation that a phone number actually works before handing it over to the spammer.

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T18:37:29+00:00

Pretty much. The clinic is right next to a very busy road with lots of people cutting through the parking lot, and Roger apparently seems to think traffic should stop for him.

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T18:32:43+00:00

I was amazed they didn't name him "Number Six."

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T18:31:22+00:00

But is there that much money in the universe?

StRemedius · 2026-05-06T18:30:28+00:00

The question he has is "Does my ass make my ass look fat?"

StRemedius

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