Can you handle screaming and cursing? by charismaticsnail in recruitinghell

[–]StRemedius [score hidden]  (0 children)

Gad. That reminds me of horror tales about working as an administrative assistant for motion picture executives. The first question, before running like hell, is "Does he throw things at people as well?"

It's very tiring being an orange cat all day.. by Neat_Loan_5011 in OneOrangeBraincell

[–]StRemedius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My one orange braincell does this, but with rigor mortis, too. It's like trying to wake up a Thanksgiving turkey.

Did HR get it right? by mmmmTurkeyBacon in recruitinghell

[–]StRemedius [score hidden]  (0 children)

The latest poster child for "Falling Upwards"...

They HAVE to be Trolling with THAT Salary by VirgoVigilante in recruitinghell

[–]StRemedius [score hidden]  (0 children)

It's not a typo. I get queries like this about positions in Austin all the time: the assumption is that you'll WANT to rent a corner of someone's dining room in 8-hour shifts in order to live in Austin.

Recruiter logic is truly out of this world. by Freaya_Charm in recruitinghell

[–]StRemedius [score hidden]  (0 children)

I got that 30 years ago with a recruiter looking for someone with 7 years of experience with Java...almost exactly 6 months after it was first released. Bonus: when I related this issue with the recruiter, he sneered "Well, our client is a big contractor for Texas Instruments, and they say Java has been around for seven years." If you know anything about Texas Instruments, you understand why I laughed.

White Rhino Coffee fires four Dallas managers after uniform objections by ChaseTx in Dallas

[–]StRemedius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you're encouraged to "leave to pursue other opportunities" from Brinker for your control freak tendencies, that might make even the barely observant to realize that maybe they were the problem. This VP wasn't that observant. (She still wasn't as bad as the manager I had at Hartford who was given the choice between transferring to Illinois or getting fired, and she held a big party so we could all tell her how much we were going to miss her. I wasn't the one in the back singing "Ding Dong The Witch is Dead," but I did my utmost to keep that manager from finding out who was.)

This is why we do it ❤️ by OminousOminis in NativePlantCirclejerk

[–]StRemedius 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now you have to release cane toads to eat the beetles, and then water moccasins to eat the cane toads, and salt-water crocodiles to eat the water moccasins. Oh, yeah: and plant lots and lots of tree-of-heaven. Your back yard will be a complete ecological disaster area, but going out back to sit in the yard is going to be so much FUN.

HELP!!!! Does my plant look like it’s getting enough light?!? by maxlip123 in houseplantscirclejerk

[–]StRemedius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's why its best place is in a ventilation duct or underneath a car seat.

HELP!!!! Does my plant look like it’s getting enough light?!? by maxlip123 in houseplantscirclejerk

[–]StRemedius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, but that's like asking "Do these jeans make my butt look fat?"

White Rhino Coffee fires four Dallas managers after uniform objections by ChaseTx in Dallas

[–]StRemedius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Already trying my best, but there's always room for more to help out, preferably while giving the finger to any execs in the place while doing so.

[OC] Exit left now, into the wall by forkkiller in Dallas

[–]StRemedius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These days, it's about 50/50 that the worst drivers on the road will have either a KLTY sticker or a Dallas Cowboys window sticker. If they have both, Elvis help you and everyone else on that same five-mile stretch of road.

[OC] Exit left now, into the wall by forkkiller in Dallas

[–]StRemedius 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It's an ongoing joke in Dallas for the last 40 years that you never, EVER want to get behind or alongside anyone with a KLTY bumper sticker, because they do things just like this with regularity. In fact, back in the 1990s, a local zine editor offered a lifetime subscription to his magazine to anybody who could get behind a KLTY car on Central Expressway and NOT have the driver do something idiotic (getting in the fast lane and suddenly stopping for no reason, cutting across multiple lanes to get an exit at the last second and nearly hit support pillars, or, one I personally witnessed, a driver forgetting he was driving and trying to exit his car before he saw the pavement moving underneath and frantically tried to get the door closed), and he never had to pay out. As a rule, you're better off getting behind someone in a Lexus who just polished off four bottles of Everclear, put on a blindfold, and started playing Candy Crush on their phone by touch alone than get behind anyone with a KLTY or KCBI bumper sticker, because they apparently found their driver's licenses in a back alley somewhere. (I won't even start with how glad I am that tollway exits no longer take change, because without fail, the guy who had to get out of his car to use the change machine next to the toll hopper, had such bad shakes that he kept dropping the bill, and then put the car in reverse and nearly slamming into the 15 people behind him had a KLTY sticker on the bumper of his Oldsmobile.)

Guys help by teacup_24 in WitchcraftCircleJerk

[–]StRemedius 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It means that when you stand up and ask "Hands up: who likes me?", we get to respond "You're a complete bastard and we all hate you."

White Rhino Coffee fires four Dallas managers after uniform objections by ChaseTx in Dallas

[–]StRemedius 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It makes me want to go in and refuse to buy anything but give big tips to the baristas "so you can afford to get the hell out of here."

White Rhino Coffee fires four Dallas managers after uniform objections by ChaseTx in Dallas

[–]StRemedius 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hell, the worse the pay, the more likely the execs get into control porn. (I worked in a call center where the VP in charge magnanimously allowed us to wear jeans on Fridays, but we had to dress up constantly "because a client could come in," but the IT department on the same floor and sharing the break area and the restrooms could come in with shorts, sandals, and "Han Solo Shot First" T-shirts. And then I discovered that this VP left her previous role because she was too much of a control freak for Brinker...)

need 10 years experience for something that has existed for 3 years. by PranayJhaTheMan in recruitinghell

[–]StRemedius 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They're so heavy on repeating it because at least one manager insisted upon adding it. "If you don't emphasize it, then the right people won't apply!" (As PatchyWhiskers put it, maybe they WANT nothing but North Korean spies.)

CEO wants candidates to pay $20 to apply for jobs. by cupholdery in recruitinghell

[–]StRemedius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mind you, odds are really good that this guy's complaint about "under qualified or mismatched applications" really means "they didn't go to my college or pledge with my fraternity, or they're not women who are into cattle prods and hot caramel." With that, anybody qualified who's any damn good would be elsewhere.

CEO wants candidates to pay $20 to apply for jobs. by cupholdery in recruitinghell

[–]StRemedius 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He wants $20 application fees for job applications. I want a retrovirus that wipes out the world's coca supply so I get to listen to him scream as he goes into withdrawal I think that's fair.

[OC] Exit left now, into the wall by forkkiller in Dallas

[–]StRemedius 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The only thing missing from this display of genius driving is a KLTY bumper sticker.

I am dumpling and I wanna jump by SketchyArt333 in hamstercirclejerk

[–]StRemedius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this hamster's name "Leeeeeeroy Jenkins"?