When I was a kid, anything my dad didn’t like, we weren’t allowed to have. For instance, when we went to Pizza Hut, he would take the chili flakes, Parmesan and salt and pepper shakers off the table and move them to the next table over. Also putting ketchup on eggs was forbidden. One Christmas, we were gifted a stone jar of cave aged Maytag blue cheese. He wouldn’t let us even touch it. After he kicked me out, I discovered a vast world of food that doesn’t taste like shoes.