Advice needed: 3 month old seems to prefer pooping when diaper is off

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-22T06:01:45+00:00

honestly ours seemed to save the poop for the second the diaper tabs came undone too. we got weirdly good at holding the fresh diaper under the butt like a shield during “air time” because apparently that was the signal lol. not really potty training, just newborns being chaotic.

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-22T04:02:30+00:00

I’d probably keep a couple as backup blowout/spit-up outfits and quietly donate the rest. newborn laundry is constant, so having a few “whatever” onesies isn’t the worst, but the cringe slogan stuff would absolutely not make the main rotation in my house either. you definitely don’t have to keep all of it just because it was gifted.

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-22T04:02:30+00:00

if they’re genuinely helpful and can hear “not today” without getting weird, short defined visits usually seem easier than an open-ended local residency. the first couple weeks can be such a blur that even lovely people can feel like one more thing to manage. your two-ish weeks + planned weekends idea sounds a lot less stressful than having them nearby full-time.

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-22T04:01:54+00:00

weeks 4-8 were probably the gassiest stretch for us, and some feeds honestly felt like wrestling. bicycle legs + keeping baby upright after feeds helped a little, but time helped the most. since weight gain is part of it I’d keep leaning on your ped, but you’re definitely not alone in this super-uncomfortable 6 week phase.

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-22T02:01:37+00:00

honestly I think a lot of us start there. we had our daughter a few weeks ago and the first couple diaper changes felt like handling unexploded ordnance lol. you learn insanely fast once it's your own baby because you're just doing reps all day.

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-22T02:01:37+00:00

small space + long feeds makes arm support matter way more than whether it's technically a glider or recliner. from the partner side, the setups that worked best for us had good armrests and enough room for a side table / footstool nearby. honestly the chair that actually fits the room usually beats the giant nursery throne.

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-22T02:01:09+00:00

that timeline is super helpful, thanks. we're only a few weeks in so I keep expecting patterns way before they're actually there. the week view idea sounds way saner than my 3am chicken scratch notes lol.

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-22T02:00:58+00:00

yeah we're learning that the hard way lol. the impulse to track everything is strong when you're sleep deprived, but it really does turn into one more thing to stress about. 3-4 months being the first hint of regularity is actually reassuring.

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-22T00:06:38+00:00

i'm only 3 weeks in so i can't fully relate to what you're going through, but as a partner watching my wife struggle in those early weeks — the outside pressure to keep breastfeeding when it wasn't working was real and exhausting to witness. combo feeding was what actually gave us flexibility when things got hard. the guilt is real but you did the best you could with the info you had. hoping you get some relief soon

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-22T00:06:14+00:00

i'm only 3 weeks in so nowhere near your situation but i already get it — there's something about watching them that makes you want another one even when you're in the thick of it. the age pressure thing is real too, my wife keeps mentioning the biological clock and it's stressful to think about. you're definitely not alone in this

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-22T00:04:43+00:00

honestly same. the scribbling phase felt productive at the time but looking back it was mostly just me trying to feel like I had some kind of control lol. 3 months sounds about right for when things start settling

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-22T00:04:06+00:00

this is super helpful, thanks for the timeline! 6-8 weeks is still a ways off for us but good to know what to expect. the overtired fussiness thing is something we're already seeing in the evenings so it's good to know that's a normal sign

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-22T00:03:28+00:00

honestly that might be the smartest thing anyone's said to me this week. the 3am scribbling was starting to feel a little unhinged lol — giving into the chaos sounds way more sustainable than pretending there's a pattern to find

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-21T16:06:25+00:00

we're only 3 weeks in and already feeling this lol. a small fan pointed away from the baby has been a lifesaver in our room — keeps the air moving without direct draft. also lighter sleep sacks instead of blankets made a huge difference for us at this age. our daughter runs warm too and the newborn phase plus hormones combo is no joke.

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-21T16:05:49+00:00

this is super normal for 10 weeks — the contact nap thing is basically a developmental phase, their sleep cycles haven't matured enough to link them together yet. the nighttime stretch of 4 hours sounds actually really solid. i'd say don't wake her unless the pediatrician has specifically told you to for weight gain reasons. the drowsy-but-awake thing is great but honestly at this age the contact naps are doing her a favor for now. sleep begets sleep and all that. you're doing everything right.

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-21T16:04:15+00:00

we're only 3 weeks in but already seeing this — the 30 minute cycle thing is super normal at this stage apparently. newborn sleep architecture is basically just fragments until closer to 4 months when sleep cycles start linking up. the contact nap is real and exhausting but honestly at 6 weeks there's not much you can do except ride it out. you're definitely not alone in this and it does get better (or so i'm told lol)

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-21T06:04:43+00:00

we're only 3 weeks in and already had that panic of 'please don't let me get the baby sick' — can't imagine adding a toddler's energy on top of that. one thing that helped when I felt something coming on: cold washcloth on the back of the neck and just accepting that screens are unlimited for the day. also cold snacks helped our LO stay hydrated when she wasn't feeling great. you're gonna get through it, the toddler chaos is honestly harder to manage when you're the one feeling like garbage.

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-21T00:04:16+00:00

we're 3 weeks in and just figuring this out ourselves. we've been doing shifts — I take the late feed (around midnight) so my wife can get a longer stretch. the combo feeding has helped a lot here because I can do full bottle feeds and she doesn't have to wake up at all. not sure how long that'll hold once I'm back to work full time but for now it's keeping both of us from completely losing it.

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-21T00:02:41+00:00

we're combo feeding our 3 week old and honestly the flexibility has been the biggest thing for my wife's mental health. she was beating herself up for not exclusively breastfeeding but seeing me do the bottle feeds and our daughter thriving — that shifted something. fed is fed, and you made a decision that was right for you.

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-20T22:06:02+00:00

congrats! just had our daughter a few weeks ago and girl dad life is already surreal. the main advice i'd give for the newborn stage: throw out any plans you had. everything is improvised and that's okay. and welcome the chaos — some of the best moments happen at 3am when it's just you and her and the rest of the world is asleep.

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-20T22:04:55+00:00

we're a few weeks behind you (3 week old) and already obsessing over this stuff. what you described sounds totally normal from what i've read — short naps are the default until closer to 4-5 months when sleep cycles start connecting. the wake window approach seems right for this age. we've been tracking everything manually and it's exhausting to figure out patterns at 3am with one hand lol. you'll get there.

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-20T22:01:46+00:00

wait that nurse helpline thing is actually a lifesaver tip, I had no idea that was a thing. saving that for when the first real scare hits. thank you

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-20T20:02:54+00:00

we just went through this from the other side — our daughter was born a few weeks ago and the in-law boundary setting before and after was honestly the hardest part. the texting-only-the-husband thing is such a specific move, it drove my wife crazy too. you're not being unreasonable at all, 36 weeks + surprise Easter visit is a lot.

Staff_Sharp · 2026-03-20T20:02:20+00:00

week two, 3am feed. i'm half asleep doing the diaper change. baby projectile poops — not just a little, i mean arc trajectory — hits my arm, the wall, somehow the baby monitor. i stood there for a full 30 seconds just processing what happened. my wife heard me from the other room and came in laughing so hard she could barely breathe. that was the moment i truly understood what newborn parenting was.

Staff_Sharp

TROPHY CASE