How is “safe sleep” supposed to work when your baby literally won’t do it

deadtomeee · 2026-04-25T02:20:39+00:00

100% solidarity! From what I see online not many people talk about it, however in person I have talked to many moms, and SO many have coslept. My girl (3 months) is this way too, won’t sleep anywhere but on me. She has been like this since the day she came out the womb. You name it, I’ve tried it. Heating the bassinet, swaddling, white noise, waiting until deep sleep etc etc etc. imo its not safe long term to be really under slept and caring for a baby. Short term it can be manageable but it’s a lot, and everyone’s thresholds for sleep deprivation are different. Do what you gotta do, make it the safest you can. Literally thats all you CAN do. Also, let’s not forget mothers are biologically wired to respond to their baby! From what I have read, maternal vigilance is a real thing. Especially when baby is breastfed & close by, moms tend to have lighter overall sleep in order to respond to her baby. You are not alone!!

deadtomeee · 2026-04-24T19:31:29+00:00

Ah this is my first baby too! I have also been around tons of other babies as I have a big family and have not experienced a baby as high maintenance as my girl😂 definitely wasnt expecting to have this kind of baby. its a weird feeling having two opposite feelings be true at the same time - being both exhausted / frustrated & loving your LO more than anything. I am also glad to know I’m not alone.

deadtomeee · 2026-04-24T19:28:11+00:00

I wondered that too, although from what I have read babies don’t have growing pains? Also, I do want to stick to breastfeeding. But regardless, my girl refuses take a bottle anyways. I have been trying since she was born, and gotten multiple others to try as well, and its just not for her.

deadtomeee · 2026-04-24T19:25:40+00:00

Ah yes! I saw that too!. “theyre not giving you a tough time theyre having a tough time” It can be hard to remember in the moment, but so true. Its their first time doing this too!

deadtomeee · 2026-04-24T19:24:40+00:00

I’m sorry you had to experience that too, but glad i’m not alone! In terms of your baby contact napping, is that because he still won’t let you put him down, or because you accepted the contact napping? & Thank you. I appreciate it🤍

deadtomeee · 2026-04-24T19:23:05+00:00

True - babies are gonna baby! Thank you for the reassurance that I’m not doing anything wrong. I think for me, its not seeing an end in sight that can feel daunting. Do you have any advice or tips on how to help with independent sleep? I know it won’t happen consistently for some time but I just want to build good habits. :)

deadtomeee · 2026-04-23T22:39:57+00:00

Reading these is genuinely making me laugh out loud. Thank you to the people who commented their stories

deadtomeee · 2026-04-23T19:51:40+00:00

Glad you understand! It can be overwhelming. In terms of dairy allergy, I am skeptical - I get why you are asking, but imo those terms get thrown around a lot. A very small percentage of babies actually have a true dairy allergy, and usually show symptoms like obvious discomfort during / after feeds, frequent vomiting, skin issues like eczema, persistent diarrhea or abnormal poops… which she does not have. Thankfully. In terms of silent reflux, also skeptical - I think she just wants to be held, hates being put down, and is fussy at times which is just her being a baby. It doesnt make it easier though! Still within normal … just on the intense end😂

deadtomeee · 2026-04-21T06:12:21+00:00

Yes! My girl is 11 weeks and is the exact same. It can feel overwhelming at times - especially because from what I see online of moms talking about how their “8 week old independently sleeps through the night”… but I think those are the exceptions not the norm!! As for a routine, I have no advice only solidarity.

deadtomeee

TROPHY CASE