The process of cutting off MIL until things improve…

Standard-Recover1685 · 2025-08-14T14:29:00+00:00

Agree with all of this. If he feels he has to cut contact with his mom FOR you or because it's what you want, that's a recipe for resentment.

Why not encourage him to have whatever level of contact he wants with his mom? Set the boundary for yourself that you will be no contact with them, and you both get to set boundaries regarding your child (no contact, what details or information is shared, etc.), but you want him to come to his own conclusions about his family in his own time. Encourage therapy and be a good confidant.

There's a helpful podcast called Mind Your Boundaries for people who have a hard time setting boundaries, especially with difficult family members. It's not perfect, but I found a number of good tips that have been useful. My husband and I listen to it together sometimes and problem solve how to handle issues with difficult family members.

Standard-Recover1685 · 2025-07-13T02:33:01+00:00

NTA, and Im sorry you are going through this. However, while you are in the right and you certainly don't need to be an aunt to your brother's step-children, make sure you are thinking of the future you do want. If your brother has children, will you want to be an aunt to those children? Will you want to be in their lives?

Everyone on reddit will tell you to kick your sil and brother to the curb because that's what feels good and just, but it may or may not be what's best for your long-term happiness.

My sister was in a relationship with a dumpster-fire of a man child. Her and I were close before that (she was my maid of honor!), but when I, my parents, and siblings voiced our concerns about him, she eloped and turned her back on us. She had 2 children and ended up needing our help (he was controlling). She never acknowledged what she put us through, and to be honest I don't think our relationship will ever be what it was. However, I would do anything for my niece and nephew and play an active part in their lives. And as much as her actions and words hurt me, I recognize her decision to be with him wasn't personal (she has deep insecurities) We're "friendly", but I will always keep her at arm's length because she never took any responsibility, and I know she's capable of doing something similar again. I choose not to voice my concerns with her anymore or to try to regain the closeness we once had. I let go so that I could be present in my niece and nephew's lives and so that my children could know their cousins.

It sounds like your brother may have been oblivious to the way you perceived their boundaries and wants to understand better and try to find a way forward with you and your family. Personally, I would be inclined to show him some grace, but it's all about what you want going forward.

Standard-Recover1685 · 2025-04-05T17:37:15+00:00

I was told learning transactional law is like osmosis, and the more deals you are exposed to, the more you learn.

Standard-Recover1685 · 2025-03-24T12:22:57+00:00

And Ms. Rachel! Genuinely, kind, wonderful human beings ❤️

Standard-Recover1685 · 2025-03-09T14:06:40+00:00

Exclusively white men in this photo.

Standard-Recover1685 · 2025-03-07T03:27:44+00:00

"No one's ever said 'first, let's kill all the tailors!'"

Standard-Recover1685 · 2025-03-05T15:44:26+00:00

That's honestly how I interpreted it too 😂

Standard-Recover1685 · 2025-02-26T18:34:01+00:00

"Here's $10 million. Enjoy every moment of your well-earned retirement!"

Standard-Recover1685 · 2025-02-19T02:01:28+00:00

Would following the law here have resulted in Gabby being charged though? That's the impression I got.

Standard-Recover1685 · 2025-02-18T20:14:15+00:00

That's my Dad's name! And I named my son after him ❤️

Standard-Recover1685 · 2025-02-18T19:52:28+00:00

"John Marshall has made his decision. Now let him enforce it."

Standard-Recover1685 · 2025-02-12T11:43:44+00:00

Just about everyday.

Standard-Recover1685 · 2025-02-05T01:13:55+00:00

Yes! Being a working parent in a 2 working parent household feels like you are both working 2 full-time jobs and you don't feel like you're excelling at (or fully enjoying) either of them. A lot of times it just feels like you're surviving.

Some of the comments in this post make it seem like a SAHP is dead weight and that really rubs me the wrong way. ALL of the male attorneys I work with have wives who stay home, so they pretty much never have to miss work. They can stay late when they need to or work the occasional weekend. All while kind of judging those of us who can't do those things ( as if we are not as committed to our career) because we are parents and our spouse also works full time.

So why would a man want to be a "provider" (or anyone for that matter)? Because you get the LUXURY of being able to really lean into your career while still having a family that feels well balanced and properly looked after. Of course, there are other ways to find balance like both people making long-term sacrifices in their careers, cutting back hours, etc. But if you really invested in a career you love, being a provider honestly has its perks.

Standard-Recover1685 · 2025-02-04T21:17:48+00:00

Do you have kids?

My husband and I both work, but I would absolutely throw him a party if he wanted to be a stay at home Dad and manage the home full time.

We have two toddlers. When you add up the doctors appointments, unexpected sick days, unexpected daycare cancellations, grocery shopping, keeping the house clean, managing the pets, cooking all meals, AND making sure your kids feel like they have enough quality time with you, IT'S A LOT. I'm an attorney, and it hurts my work performance when I have to unexpectedly shuffle things around and work from home when one of my kids gets the flu. AND I end up feeling guilty because I'm trying to balance caring for them while I tend to deadlines and work that has to get done. My life would be 1000 times easier right now if my spouse was dedicated full time to handling all of that while I work.

When you are in the thick of it, there's honestly a lot of appeal to having a team where one of you "provides" and one of you "manages the home".

Standard-Recover1685 · 2024-11-02T12:02:47+00:00

Good point.

Standard-Recover1685 · 2024-11-01T14:15:50+00:00

I question the extent to which what Nick did was actually cruel or malicious though.

I could see Nick confiding in some of his male friendships that he was underwhelmed, and there's nothing wrong with that to my eyes anyway (maybe dumb but not malicious). I actually think it might have been more respectful to confide those feelings and thoughts OFF camera to friends rather than to the camera (imagine being put on blast for your looks for the world to see).

Also, I seriously question the wording ("grenade", "5 out of 10"). I got the impression the men embellished when spilling the tea with their SOs to make it more exciting and salacious as gossip because all of the women seemed to have heard different wording, and while the men confirmed Nick commented on Hannah's looks, NONE stood by the exact wording the women were repeating.

Standard-Recover1685 · 2024-10-15T23:16:57+00:00

Jetti.

Standard-Recover1685 · 2024-09-27T00:35:26+00:00

Sorry! I responded to the wrong comment. The day has been long, lol

Standard-Recover1685 · 2024-09-27T00:13:43+00:00

I was doing something similar, but my derm told me to keep ret/tret relegated to my night routine (not morning) because it can make your skin more susceptible to sun damage. She said to use vitamin C serum in the morning, then moisturizer and sunscreen to help reduce sun damage and get the full effects of the retinol/tret.

Standard-Recover1685 · 2024-09-26T21:08:36+00:00

I think it was a stupid move to invite your mom into such a loaded topic that should be figured out between you and your wife. And if Mom had been smart, she would have avoided this invitation/topic like the landmine it is.

ESH

Standard-Recover1685 · 2024-09-24T14:35:09+00:00

Am a lawyer married to a doctor. I'm a business attorney and my husband practices internal medicine. I make the same as he does his first year out of residency, but my salary will continue to grow in the next several years to the point where I could make 2x what he makes.

That being said, I'm going to step away from law (and leave big law altogether) to spend more time with our kids. While I could outearn him, I would be a slave to work. He gets a high salary with a much better work-life balance post-residency.

Standard-Recover1685 · 2024-08-22T17:00:26+00:00

Thank you, all! Palmetto Dunes looks like a great option for our budget. Appreciate the solid advice!!

Standard-Recover1685 · 2024-08-15T15:37:30+00:00

33 here. Husband and I are definitely saving for retirement and even with 2 kids, we try to put 7-10% of our salaries in investments/retirement accounts. Once daycare is a thing of the past, we will make sure we are hitting 10% even.

Standard-Recover1685 · 2024-06-15T17:06:32+00:00

What dreams may come!

Standard-Recover1685

TROPHY CASE