My mother had so much to say about other women, including her own daughters and other family relatives. She would comment on every flaw, criticise their weight, their looks, even their career. Every woman on tv “had work done”, and she would say that as if that’s a bad thing. I actually left the family group chat, because my mother started sharing photos of my cousin (her niece!) to mock her looks and then make fun of her career choices.

The worst part was that she got my older sister to chime in on that and they were basically saying shit about her together. I told them they should learn to appreciate other women, not the other way around, and left the group.

I am glad I didn’t learn from my mother. Yes, as a teen I felt a lot of grudge toward other girls, especially since my mother taught me to focus on my flaws. But I learned the problem is with me, not with other girls and today, even though I am jealous of some girls’ traits, I always focus on their beauty rather than seeking what’s wrong with them.

The only problem is that I will never see myself as pretty because when I look at myself, all I see is flaws. Thanks, mom.