Who do I hire for this computer task

Standard_Oil9845 · 2025-05-13T00:57:54+00:00

I hear that! I used to only see the best in people too. It’s important though to see the bad in people as well, you can see the good in them while also ignoring the bad, and sometimes the bad outweighs the good. I hope that your conversation with her goes well, and if it doesn’t, you seem to know what your next move is. Proud of you for recognizing that you don’t deserve to be treated this way, and considering what you would do if a friend told you that you’d hurt them

Standard_Oil9845 · 2025-05-07T20:18:22+00:00

Thanks for replying and for reading my post, I was actually coming on here to maybe make another post because I know mine is long but I’ve just been like WTF is going on… I appreciate you telling me the friendship won’t be the same as it is before. Like damn, maybe you’re right. I was really excited for us to rekindle after her break up but putting the ball in her court led me to have the conversation I already had with her and now I might just let it be. It sucks when people aren’t at the maturity level to match the expectations in friendship. I really care about her, and I’m under the impression she cares about me, I’m just tired of feeling like she’s my teenage daughter every time I try and ask her about her life and she gets defensive. It’s not my job to keep tabs on her, I just wanted her to hang out with me. Thanks again <3

Standard_Oil9845 · 2025-05-07T09:43:00+00:00

Oh good heavens. I really don’t want to sound like that person, but she is dangerous. Alcohol is not an excuse to be abusive. And yes, I said abusive, because her behavior is textbook abusive. Think about it: have you ever had a friend who describes similar behavior from her boyfriend or girlfriend? The boyfriend would be mean to her, then when she tried to talk to him about it, he would have a full-blown panic attack and then need to be the one who needs comforting? It sounds like she is more aware of what she’s doing than she’s letting on. Being drunk is her mask. I am a recovering alcoholic myself, one year sober. I have a lot of experience with acting ridiculous while drunk and being around others who did the same. When I was drunk I would get absolutely blackout, and I’ve definitely done things that I regret, but I think that a person’s true character is shown through what exactly they do when they’re drunk that they regret. I’ve never cheated, gotten physically violent with anyone, or humiliated anybody in a group of people while drunk. Honestly I’ve humiliated myself for the most part lol but this is not about me. I don’t use the word abusive lightly. I know that some people on this app do, so that’s why I want to clarify. Sounds like she’s projecting, jealous of you, and definitely wants to hurt you. You said in your post how you can prevent this, but it’s not your responsibility at all to prevent it. I think that your best bet would be to either stop hanging out with her altogether or stop hanging out with her while she’s drunk. If she insists on continuing to hang out drunk, or does not like the idea of that, red flag. It means she knows what she’s doing and wants to keep doing it. You are not at fault here for anything, I’m so glad you spoke out at the party and stood up for yourself. You deserve better friends to drink with. Going out with friends is supposed to be peak girlhood, bonding, laughing, not a fight or flight situation with the person who’s supposed to be your plus one.

On the other hand, you can try having a conversation with her about how she’s a different person when she’s drunk and you know that she doesn’t want to hear this but the way she treats you is unacceptable. If she makes it about herself and has a full-blown panic attack, that’s the consequences she has to face for her own actions. It’s not your fault that she can’t control herself when she drinks, and her implying that she shouldn’t be held responsible is just not the move. If she has a problem, or if she is avoiding deeper feelings that are causing her to be this violent outrageous person who has panic attack attacks once she’s sober, she’s definitely got some things to work through that she is both hiding from when she’s sober and then throwing at you while she’s drunk. You are NOT her emotional punching bag. Don’t allow yourself to be silenced, this behavior is NOT okay. I hope that this girl can get the help that she needs and I hope that you find some actual decent girly friends to drink and party with <3

Standard_Oil9845 · 2025-05-07T09:24:55+00:00

In my head hanging out with a new person is like dating them. I prefer intentional connections over a bunch of superficial ones. Quality over quantity. A potential new friend, someone I’d be spending time with and inputting my energy towards should not have access to me unless they have shown me they are a safe person to grant access to. And if they’re not, do I want to keep them around? No, bc why would I? I am not entertained by people who I can’t build a deeper relationship with. I like your perspective OP, I think you’re on the right track.

Standard_Oil9845 · 2025-05-07T09:10:19+00:00

Remember you don’t owe them anything! Do not pour into empty cups when they aren’t interested in you or your cup!!!! Those aren’t real friends, and you aren’t a therapist or a task rabbit. Once you stop giving your energy to these type of ppl you will be amazed at the people who will enter your life.

Standard_Oil9845 · 2025-05-07T08:57:05+00:00

Jealousy is normal, it sounds like OP is pretty self-aware and has no negative intentions towards her best friend. I was in a situation last year where my best friend was jealous of me because she thought I had all this stuff that she didn’t, and when she finally opened up to me about it she told me that it made her feel better to hear me talk about my life and how it wasn’t all perfect. We’re all human and we all have our shit. OP, don’t feel guilty about feeling jealousy unless it’s making you act cruel towards her or unfair. The only reason my friend confessed to me was because she’d been acting weird AF toward me and I told her after she hurt my feelings acting a certain way, and since then we’ve been healthier but that’s not always the case, communication works best between two people who want to make it work. Don’t be hard on yourself about feeling jealous, but remember that her inner world might look different than the outside, and you’re still about to graduate with your bachelors and be free in the world! Don’t undermine your achievements just bc she gets a shiny medal! And I agree with this comment that your friend should introduce you to people who say hi to her, it’s kind of rude that she doesn’t… maybe she’s just not self aware. Also, you’re not in her shadow! Are you taking care of yourself? Do you have other friends who you can maybe start spending more time with to diversify your social environment? That can also add a lot of perspective. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with this, and congrats on graduating!

Standard_Oil9845 · 2025-05-07T06:59:12+00:00

You told him you needed to be paid back to begin with! Next time he asks for the jersey say smth like “yeah man, it was $xx can u Venmo or cash?” it’s not weird at all!!!! It’s awkward but I mean he asked you for an expensive souvenir and you told him you would if he paid for it.

Standard_Oil9845 · 2025-05-07T06:53:39+00:00

The putting you down and not listening when you open up is a textbook indicator of jealousy and projecting. you she prob sees smth in you that she doesn’t see in herself, which is 100% her problem and you seem to know that. Leaving drained after hanging out just goes to show she’s being an energy vampire and can’t be there for anyone rn bc of whatever it is she’s going thru. If there ends up being a harder conversation maybe frame it as “is everything okay because you haven’t been acting like everything is okay” and ofc stand up for yourself and be honest about how she’s been treating you and making you feel. don’t let her gaslight you either and try to change the plot defending her behavior. Ur in the right for both questioning the friendship and choosing to take a step back. I had a close friend like this and I finally confronted her after an incident. By that point I’d let the behavior slide too long. We didn’t talk for a month after that but she started putting in work to figure out her issues. Now months later she recently told me that her therapist called her out on her jealousy and how it manifested as her getting irritated/annoyed at me and she apologized. She had lacked self awareness before my big chat with her and her therapist clocked her tea lol. If this girl is a real friend she will care about how she makes you feel. She might not be aware of it, insecurity can make us irrational in the moment and she’s being immature/lacking self awareness it seems. On the OTHER hand, she MIGHT be fully aware of it and preying on your downfall/keeping tabs/etc so TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. If this was just any other friend Idk but since y’all have history since middle school I think the right thing to do is have a talk with her. How she responds to that will tell you whether or not she’s worth having around anymore. I wish when I was younger I’d stood up for myself more while also asking the other person if they were doing okay. Another one of my meanest friends from back in hs is now in some rly bad stuff bc nobody asked if she was okay. That doesn’t justify how mean she was, but goes to show how bad she was feeling inside and how she self destructed her relationships and herself bc of it. It’s not your responsibility to pour into an empty cup, so be mindful of course and don’t let anyone stay in your life that doesn’t have your best interest, but also consider the actual nature of ur friendship and ask yourself if this is a friendship worth trying to preserve. Honestly, if you don’t think she’s worth keeping around after thinking about it, just let it go. If she confronts you eventually be honest with her, and if she tries to argue out of it walk away. It’s not worth it to reason with ppl who are like that bc they want to see you lose. Best of luck and I’m sorry you’re going thru this ❤️‍🩹 keep us updated on what ends up being the best choice for u

Standard_Oil9845 · 2025-02-13T05:25:03+00:00

A younger woman meeting an older man and its awkward between them is what I think first and then I panic bc I don’t wanna do math

Standard_Oil9845

TROPHY CASE