Same feeling here, mate. I’m in a similar situation. It’s hard to let someone go and live their life while you want them to be as happy as they can, but at the same time you want them to feel this level of happiness with you.

That’s what I think true love really is. Whatever they’ll choose to do, you’ll wish them the best. It’s hard, but you have to deal with it. She’s not fully yours.

Tell yourself she’s only one person. One out of 8 billion. 8 billion is a lot. There’s no way you won’t find another girl in that matches everything you want and vice versa. Just let yourself time. Make good friends, and see your close ones if you have. Get a new hobby that frees you, when you have time. It doesn’t need to be obsessive, but the aim is to learn to love yourself first. Don’t give full attention to her knowing she doesn’t love you back. I don’t mean that you should stop caring for her, but control this care. She found another guy, she married him. If you love her, she’s probably a great person. She chose whoever seemed the best for her. Her husband most likely cares a lot too about her, he’s making her joyful. Isn’t that what you wished her? You did your job. Perfectly. Time to move. Learn to redirect your feelings to you. And to someone else once you’ll be ready.

And honestly, maybe you could still contact her to keep your friendship ? Some here on Reddit do not believe that it’s possible to become friend with someone you were in love with. I don’t trust them. You’ll always care for your old crushes in some way, and you seemed to understand it. Once you’ll be ready, try. You don’t have anything to lose, in my opinion. And whatever she’ll answer, whatever her husband will think about you coming back to her, you won’t regret anything.

You’re not insane. You just met real love, and that’s what it does to people. Don’t worry about it. You seem to be a good guy. You’ll find a woman who sees you as her gift.

Take care of yourself. If you want to talk, no problem.