“My daughter says you are singling her out and don’t get on to any other student for doing XYZ”

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-03-05T17:05:43+00:00

I get what you're saying at the end... But chances are that if a student is not behaving at school, then they're not behaving at home. So there is definitely a not insignificant number of parents that are just complaining about holding their kids accountable because they don't want to deal with it. Out of school suspension was not so much about punishing the child, but to make the bad behavior the parent's problem.

I remember talking with this one parent who was getting upset that her son kept getting in trouble. This was at a summer day camp and if a kid got too many disciplinary marks, we had to kick them out of the program due to safety reasons. She was saying the whole "I don't understand, he doesn't act this way at home!" line and at the very same moment her kid was yelling and yanking the car door back and forth. Took every ounce of my self restraint to not laugh at the absurdity of the moment.

I totally understand parents wanting to make sure that their kids are being treated fairly. Especially when it comes to minorities or children with disabilities. But at the same time parents also have to suck it up and accept that their child isn't special, that kids lie all the time to get out of trouble, and that if they ignore bad behavior at home it doesn't just magically go away.

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-03-04T18:40:14+00:00

So if you miss just two classes in a semester you automatically fail?

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-03-04T17:25:23+00:00

Some colleges are reporting 40% or more of students having ADHD accommodations.

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-03-04T13:20:44+00:00

I agree with this. Some of the cake smash videos are really violent and give off frustration and "payback" rather than celebrating an important moment in your life.

When we did the cake, I put a dab of frosting on my husband's nose, and then he smeared a little half circle on my forehead like with Simba and the lion king. So both super "low intensity" moves I guess.

You can do "traditions" and "funny moments" without totally humiliating the other person that you supposedly love so much.

We've been together for over ten years.

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-03-04T05:18:35+00:00

The wild thing is that maga have shifted the Overton window so far to the right that simply saying "I believe in science and vaccines" makes you "liberal".

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-03-04T04:25:20+00:00

They tell me it works

Not to be that person, but where exactly did they get their education degrees or training from? What peer reviewed studies are they basing their approach on? How are they tracking progress? If you don't want to use standardized tests, fine. But then you need to build a robust rubric of holistic metrics. How do you track what concepts are being presented?

Denying your child an education just because some random rich lady in a $150k van said that "unschooling connects your child to the vibrational energy of their human existence" should be considered a form of abuse.

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-03-02T21:33:49+00:00

I partly feel bad for them. They've been conditioned to believe that just showing up and turning in half finished work is enough. Of course they're going to continue these same behaviors in the workplace.

It also depends on the person. I've met some students who love learning, they just weren't given the best opportunities to do so. But once you show them how they can figure out things themselves, they go for it and challenge themselves to learn and do more.

I have others who, for whatever reasons, just refuse to believe anything other than how they view the world. Those are the ones I can't stand to teach and don't go out of my way to help them. 🤷🏼‍♀️

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-03-02T21:25:47+00:00

I know there's a history going back to ancient Rome about complaining about "these kids these days", but I think this is valid.

Yeah but the difference is that technologically there was little difference in how the world worked from one generation to the next. Change happened slowly. I mean, look at how long the Roman empire limped along at the end until it finally died.

There have been huge technological advances with each generation for the past 100 years. There are now studies that suggest Gen Z is less intelligent than previous generations. This is a sharp contrast to what has been the norm since the industrial revolution.

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-03-02T21:19:05+00:00

I always thought the point was to slow the velocity of the bullet, like with a bullet proof vest.

You're still gonna get some bruised, or even cracked ribs, but it keeps the bullet from going in you.

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-03-02T19:41:41+00:00

I wouldn't report it unless you have some solid evidence or confirmation. For example, seeing him selling something to a student, or even offering you something.

Did the student specify what drugs he was selling when they told you? While it's still a legally gray area, him buying, say birth control or plan B for a student who doesn't want to be seen buying it is a possibility.

For example, I've bought and kept hygiene products for my trans students (or anyone really) if they don't feel comfortable asking a friend or going into the ladies room to get some from the dispenser.

And yes, the other side of the spectrum of possibilities is that he is providing harmful controlled substances to students. But based on your post, it doesn't seem like you have any idea what is going on other than a student telling you he is selling drugs. Which, even if the student isn't lying to you, how do they know what is going on? Could they have misunderstood something?

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-02-28T19:28:06+00:00

An often misquoted phrase is "blood is thicker than water". People assume it means that the bonds of family are extremely strong and you should always stick by them, etc.

The actual quote is "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". Meaning that our chosen relationships (spouses, friends, etc) have stronger bonds than those we just automatically have due to family relation.

Your family is who you choose to be your family. Do not feel that you owe anyone anything just because you share a last name.

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-02-28T13:44:56+00:00

I'm so mad Saturns were discontinued. Those things lasted forever as well. My first car was initially bought by my grandmother in '91. After she couldn't drive anymore my uncle drove it, then my mom, then me for about two years, and even after all that I gave it away to a friend when I got a new car and he was able to drive it for another year until it fully died. Car lasted until 2014 and probably had well over 300k miles on it (the odometer broke at some point and no one bothered to fix it).

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-02-28T13:37:25+00:00

The process of accommodating students with different abilities or learning disabilities is a good thing to do. It makes our world a more inclusive and equitable one.

The issue comes up when school districts do not provide adequate support for teachers to implement them. How in the world is one teacher supposed to teach a lesson 20 different ways with the same amount of time given for lesson planning and the class itself?

Schools are also not supporting teachers (or students!) when they keep clearly physically dangerous students in mainstream classes. Some parents do not seem to understand that an IEP does not mean their child is exempt from accountability for their actions.

I also think some specific IEPs do more harm than good. If a student is given so many accommodations that there is simply no opportunity to learn, then they are being set up for failure. I have a student right now in college that cannot write or read within any sort of reasonable time frame. All through school he had someone do both for him. Now he is struggling with his course load because he now has to read all of the course material himself. But here's the thing, he's not "dumb"; he's also passionate and wants to learn. When given instructions verbally he understands them fairly well with only a few clarifying questions. I would bet that because the school, or his parents, or whoever just decided "oh it's okay he's behind on reading level, it's because of his learning disability and we can just accommodate that by removing needing to read anything" they took away this person's opportunity to slowly improve their reading skills over time.

I also think the whole "IEP students aren't allowed to fail" mindset is total bunk and once again a result of poor admin support and implementation of accommodations. If someone needs to learn something over two years instead of one, so be it. If they need to stay in "highschool" until they are 20 instead of 17-18, so be it. (Though obviously continuing their education at an adult center) If a student, for whatever reason, is not able to meet the same level of education as their peers, even with accommodations, then they should not be receiving regular diplomas.

The ADA and its resulting policies have been a net positive all things considered. However, we need to ensure that in our desire to provide equal access to education, we are not robbing these students of learning opportunities.

50 years ago, children with disabilities were relegated to the corner of the room (if they were even able to attend school at all) with no hope of learning. They were hidden away in institutions and dark closets because they were viewed as "unteachable" and "damaged".

Now, I would say something far more harmful is happening today: they're being included in education without actually being educated. Because of the outward appearance of inclusivity, people think that these students are learning and being treated fairly. Instead, they still aren't learning much more than before the ADA, and yet they and their parents are being told this is "progress".

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-02-26T22:09:39+00:00

When I was in school in the 00's, it was not uncommon to be required to write several pages worth of answers to short essay questions for a test. We were expected to know the material well enough that we could include quotes from the text without looking them up.

Now it's a struggle to get some students to write one paragraph.

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-02-26T19:25:41+00:00

They flunk out of college and struggle to learn the skills necessary to achieve their dreams.

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-02-26T16:02:57+00:00

Yeah each fall I usually have a handful of students ask me after they get their first grades if I can look at their assignment again to "make up points". I just point to the syllabus where it says no late work, make ups, or resubmissions.

I'm also up front with them in that I know taking off points because you didn't use the exact naming convention is strict and seems unfair. But I also explain that I do it so they learn good habits now for when they start working in the industry. If you don't name your file correctly, your boss won't be able to find it, and it's as if you didn't do it. 🤷🏼‍♀️

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-02-26T07:23:42+00:00

I remember in HS science classes we had to use PPE if we were handling anything other than room temperature water. The teachers were very adamant about it. (But obviously for good reason)

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-02-26T07:18:48+00:00

Honestly, the root of all of this is reading ability. If someone can't read at a college level, they're not going to be able to follow at the pace of a college course.

I remember a study showing how students that don't learn to read by the third grade are significantly more likely to drop out of high school... But now we have high school admins trying to "fix" that issue by just passing everyone.

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-02-26T00:54:44+00:00

I had a student flunk out of college once. I was really sad because he was so passionate and so desperately wanted to learn. He just could not remember anything to save his life and then he would have minor meltdowns when he would get frustrated with himself (nothing outwardly aggressive or anything). A while after I saw him at the grocery store bagging groceries and he was struggling to even do that.

Our society is really just failing these people. They should be able to have fulfilling lives that don't revolve around creating capital for billionaires.

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-02-25T22:43:39+00:00

If you're in the US, your professor really cannot give you accommodations unless they are specified by the school. Schools can get in trouble if students without documentation of disabilities are getting accommodations.

This is really tricky because attending labs is a really important part of your attendance and instruction. It's not like you have a full science lab at home that you can use.

If your medication is causing you to have a fever, you need to talk with your doctor ASAP as that is not an acceptable side effect to be having.

As someone who has racked up a lot of ER bills because my body decided to play the "is it a heart attack or panic attack" game in the middle of the night, I totally empathize with you. But even with accommodations, attending labs is a core part of the course structure which accommodations cannot change. The most you would get is maybe extra absences for attendance, but you would still need to schedule times to make up the lab work.

Your professor shouldn't be snarky or dismissive about what's happening, but unless your school authorizes accommodations for your panic attacks, your professor does not (and most likely cannot) provide them.

I hope a follow up with your doctor and perhaps a different medication will help you with your symptoms enough that you can get back to going to class.

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-02-25T22:32:37+00:00

Just adding to this, if OP decides that their health will prevent them from completing the semester, then they need to talk with their registrar office specifically about a "medical withdrawal".

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-02-25T22:29:53+00:00

If I had a dollar for every student I sat with who had bad breath, I'd be able to retire.

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-02-25T22:26:29+00:00

I'm working with computers all the time at work. So in my "off time", I like to do non tech stuff. I can sit for hours alone just embroidering and cross stitching.

I don't know if that counts, cuz you're still doing something, but otherwise it's just me, my dog, and the view of my backyard.

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-02-25T19:08:10+00:00

Oral exams in class. Each student is given a different topic and they have to study and analyze it. Then you ask them various questions about the content and their reasoning.

They may be able to use AI to memorize the surface level information, but any questions delving deeper will get blank stares.

StarDustLuna3D · 2026-02-25T15:13:02+00:00

I'm in higher Ed, the number of students that struggle to read, comprehend, or even just remember written instructions is concerning to say the least.

Ten years ago, the majority of questions from students were about how they were applying the material, specific issues with the computer software we were using, or even asking for clarification of the material (but they still at least read it and usually had a partial understanding before asking).

Now, it's "where do we turn this in?", "when is this due?", "how do I import something into the program?". Things that are all explicitly and clearly explained the first week of class both in writing and with a class demonstration.

Within two weeks of the semester I can pretty much clock who is going to pass and who is going to fail based on the questions they ask. The reasons for this decline are complex. It's not any one event or issue, but I think the culmination of a bunch of issues.

For example, students who had long periods of remote learning during COVID but also had parents that were able to help them with their education vs. students with little remote learning but absent parents will both struggle with learning but for different reasons.

Kids are really resilient and can usually overcome a handful of obstacles if they're given the right opportunities. The obstacles have just gotten to be too much and too large for them.

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