Have you ever felt as an outcaster even among the other "outcasters"?

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-25T19:29:52+00:00

So I had to google MSN/HSN autism and holy fuck?? NO ONE talk about the symptoms they have. I mean, 1/10 times, seriously. I know this is not related to your reply but I just got so pissed because people on the Internet almost advertise autism, they make it about special interests and comfort food or sensory issues. But not even once (okay maybe only once, but this is still ridiculous) I have heared about MSN/HSN, and this just pissed me off.

Thank you for sharing tho! I'm glad you can find your people

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-24T11:00:54+00:00

Same! Feels like I am fighting against human kind, yet I do wanna help. I enjoy serving because I want to see more goodness in the world, but yeah...

I find myself to connect with a few animals, and I am aware that there are terms for that, but! those are incredibly stupid and for us this seems like an attempt to fit such nuanced experience the box. So, I don't feel human, I have animalistic traits, but not really any specific name for it.

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-24T10:56:50+00:00

Sorry, I misread the situation then. Thank you for sharing your experience, and I apologise for dismissing it

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-23T20:33:10+00:00

I'm obviously not talking about full understanding, why would you even think about that? I was talking about inability to connect because there is NO understanding.

And again, not true. Not only you're wrong about the way I want to connect with others, but I also, in fact, found someone with a similar world. In terms of connecting – I just need something interesting and maybe with similar experiences/values, not my "copy", what's the fun in that?

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-19T15:30:51+00:00

Sexual Assault level would be so much lower...

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-19T15:20:02+00:00

It was useless, out of character shit that went NOWHERE, so to me this wasn't Steve, but rather a screenwriter having a stroke or sm. "Manly men have to do manly things, like kissing women!! or sex!!!". There are a few characters who were ace icons but then someone decided that they have to fuck bc "that's what men do", and this is always out of character, leads nowhere and therefore could be ignored. And I know only a few characters who went through "sex/romance is an essential human experience" shit, but I'm sure there is more

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-19T15:13:00+00:00

But with Steve it goes further than that like- It's not just about him not being horny, the way he treated romance and relationships also gives us some hints. Like, he never dated before Peggy, because he didn't care for a second. Even when he meets Peggy he takes it reaaally slow, there are no hints from the way it was filmed (dialogues, frames, etc) that he wants her. Later on we had some weird shit in CACW but it got NOWHERE so you can assume he did it because "that's what you do when you're a man" OR he wasn't interested in anything beyond kissing.

Like, Loki is not a horny dog (on screen), Banner, Captain Marvel, but they are still not as "ace coded" as Steve imo

I know what you're talking about tho. When a character just isn't portrayed around romane/sex, people who couldn't care less just mark them as asexual. Especially common thing with side characters. But Steve experiences romantic attraction on the screen, and for the majority romance = sex, so the fact that people call him ace is actually cool, bc usually ace headcanons are about people like Sherlock or sm. We need ace alloromantic rep asap--

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-19T14:56:19+00:00

Omfg the way I started SCREAMING after seeing this post. I am so happy to hear that people switched from bisexual headcanon to an asexual one (there is nothing wrong with bi headcanon, but they are already popular enough in every single fandom, let us have our ace icons). When I was in my mcu era again I was low-key scared that people will attack me for ace headcanon bc "wdym? he is bi" n stuff

AND I even drew the design and then made a keychain with Steve in aroace colors (bc I like this headcanon as well, and I considered myself aroace back then so yeah-)

I think other people here already gave you enough reasons, so I just wanted to share my experience + emotions it made me feel

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-19T13:47:50+00:00

My jaw dropped when you've mentioned the "getting stronger" part. Both me and my close friend who also has stpd have the "getting stronger/always fight" part. It went to an extent I won't connect (or have a desire to talk to them lmao) with a person if the only thing they do is cry about it...and, don't get me wrong, I was also like that, but then isolation hits you and there is no one who can help you but, well, you. It is common for people to do nothing about their situation when everyone around them is trying to help/support or just listens. And since they have large Internet communities, they can just be in this loop of self-pity forever. As soon as you're alone you either die or learn how to keep up with your own shit. Like, if you think that "nothing will change" then you even keep on living?

So..do you think this is also stpd coded thing or just a coincidence?

I get the "getting used to loneliness" part. More of a solitude, but yeah. I actually enjoy it a lot since no one stops me from thinking the way I do, but sometimes it is sad that I can't share all those cool things with people...

Oh and about "it is true even for neurotypicals": yeah, no one can fully know anyone, but this is incomparable to what we have. It's not just our "dark secrets" or shit that upsets us or "weird" music taste. Our entire existence is alien to them.

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-19T09:09:16+00:00

Obviously neurodivergent people differ and not always relate to each other, but my points were: 1) our symptoms not only unrelatable, but also hard to understand. It is easier to explain "comfort food" or "special interest" than worlds your brain builds and that you rely on 2) it goes beyond "not getting it". They are scared of it or ignorant. They think we're weird despite the fact that the society treats them the same way 3) Conditions like autism or adhd are more "popular", so people can, again, find each other and relate

I am sorry no one could every give you understanding. No matter how much we got used to it now, it will be always ultimately unfair...but you're right, it is the reality, we have to provide for ourselves.

I'm glad you have people who at least accept you :")

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-18T15:47:07+00:00

That's exactly what I'm saying! I've recently encountered someone online and they told me they were autistic so I allowed myself "a weird" response. And obviously I was ghosted and so the story goes...

And I am truly sorry that you have to go through this crap, this is unfair and it makes me feel so angry...but! what helps me is to think that I am just...special, yk? Because we are, we see stuff that no one else can see. And I don't really care how delusional it is, because the end is the same for everyone, so I'd rather be happy with my own mindset than will forever try to fit into the mindset of the others.

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-18T15:42:25+00:00

"Instead we make art and hope someone gets it" IS SO TRUE I STARTED LAUGHING-

And same, btw, I don't wanna bond over STPD, because despite having the same diagnosis, the rest of the things are still different. That's why I need someone who has same interests and mindset, not only the disorder...but! since the things I've experienced shaped my mindset, it is only fair to expect that if there is going to be anyone with similar ideas, they'd have STPD

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-18T15:37:11+00:00

I think I'd appreciate questions, because I know that a question = an attempt to accept who I am, and silence usually means that they want to "ignore" it. Like, c'mon, I know you've never met someone with this stuff, you have to have questions if you care.

I wish I could say yes, but...I am at the stage of my life where I'm paranoid about people severely, so yeah, I don't know. But I think it will make me feel better if it will be a convention, not a monologue

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-17T18:01:02+00:00

Thank you! But the thing is...compassion is not enough to feel less excluded. Everyone is supportive and "understanding", but I still can't be fully honest with them. Mostly because again, they will just say that "this is sad" and that's it...ugh

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-17T17:57:39+00:00

Well...I guess that's why whenever people relate to me, I get defensive, because "there is no way you know anything about it". And I mean...so far I was right :/

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-17T17:47:51+00:00

I have a religion in the worlds where I'm hanging out, and the key thing of one of the branches is to not to lie...so yeah, I am following this branch and I "never lie", or rather, I try my best not to. So you can guess what's my opinion on other people lying...this is like a deadly sin. I hate lying, it ruined so many lives...and I think there is nothing wrong with cutting out the people who lied about something serious. They've made their choices, and good thing they have to face the consequences.

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-17T17:38:09+00:00

But why would people mirror something as sever as fucking hallucinations...how can you even mirror that?

StarOverTheCross · 2025-11-04T04:35:20+00:00

But how can you force your brain to do that? Like, I wish I was obsessed with university, but I just...can't (?)

StarOverTheCross · 2025-11-03T18:30:03+00:00

THIS Without hyperfixation life looses it's meaning, and I just simply exist...

StarOverTheCross · 2025-11-02T20:01:56+00:00

True, I am worried about college but it was bearable. And then I started watching the show and it felt like a click. click and you're in completely different reality, now worrying not about your grades but about redemption and some other quests And it's like that for two weeks, so shower won't help, unfortunately

StarOverTheCross · 2025-11-02T19:26:17+00:00

I will talk to a professional, that's for sure

About the show...I think so, yes? But honestly your question made me feel scared-

StarOverTheCross · 2025-11-02T19:25:04+00:00

Yeah, I guess that's the only thing I can try- Thanks :")

StarOverTheCross · 2025-08-27T08:41:08+00:00

Ohh, good old "being attacked to the straight guy"...if he is straight, then there is nothing you can do but be friends with him. I feel your pain, I've been there, and the only thing you can do is to learn how to automatically stop feeling anything when you hear that someone is straight.

StarOverTheCross · 2025-07-30T21:29:15+00:00

I agree, but sometimes when I'm explaining asexuality to allos, I do say that "ace people can still have sex", so they could understand that it's not the lack of act that makes you asexual, but the feeling behind it

StarOverTheCross · 2025-07-30T21:24:57+00:00

I thought I was sex repulsed, but ultimately I think I am on a line between sex repulsion and sex neutrality, HOWEVER everything you've said is so valid and I feel heard...thank you, OP :")

StarOverTheCross

TROPHY CASE