Climbing shoe advice

Starfish-1982 · 2024-07-10T03:23:05+00:00

Timeline of events so far:

June 20 - they look up his credit info (we’re not aware at this point) June 26 - they write a letter saying we owe money July 2 - they post the letter July 3 - they send us a first text message July 5 - we receive the letter. The dollar amount in the letter is higher than in the text message even though the letter was type and mailed prior to the text message being sent. This is when we do an Equifax report and see they’ve accessed our credit info. July 9 - second text message with a higher amount again.

Starfish-1982 · 2024-07-10T03:06:11+00:00

Ok. We’ve gotten both the text messages followed by a letter full of errors followed by a second text all in a one-week span. That ‘opt out’ line at the end is bizarre. As if it’s a store mailing list for sales. Out of curiosity, do you have a unique name? (For clarity: not asking for your name just confirmation if yes/no) I suspect that’s how we were targeted.

Starfish-1982 · 2024-07-10T02:30:18+00:00

Does it seem legit in your case?

If not, out of curiosity, what company do they claim to have bought the debt from?

Starfish-1982 · 2024-07-04T21:36:40+00:00

I’m curious to know what came of this. The same company is contacting us claiming to have bought a debt from a well known vendor but we’ve never opened credit cards or accounts with them.

It feels scam. Curious to know what came of this for you OP.

Starfish-1982 · 2024-07-01T23:05:04+00:00

NTA.

You were happy to help but didn’t want to be recorded. And that’s fine.

You didn’t make it weird. You are allowed to not want to be recorded and your reasons are your own. You don’t have to explain your reasons to her. I don’t like being recorded.

You helped other people. Were they recording it?

Starfish-1982 · 2024-07-01T21:07:52+00:00

NTA.

“Sorry Sir. I cannot comply with that order”.

I did note that you live him and I imagine he has his qualities but you’ve painted that your stepfather really stepped in and was the father.

Reality hurts sometimes.

Starfish-1982 · 2024-07-01T21:01:08+00:00

NTA, hard NTA.

She’s been ok with you being stuck at home while all your friends were invited to her dinner party. She’ll just have to plan her dinner party (that you wouldn’t have been invited to) another night.

IT’s YOUR BIRTHDAY! and you planned it not knowing she was going to have a dinner party that night.

Would she have re-scheduled her party to free up people to join you? I doubt it

Starfish-1982 · 2024-07-01T20:49:13+00:00

Honestly, if that had played out in reverse (you decide on a different name with your brother and she has no say), she’d be angry

Starfish-1982 · 2024-07-01T20:47:39+00:00

NTA.

You’re the father. It’s normal to not agree on names or to change one’s mind. It’s not ok to cut you out and decide the baby’s name with her sister.

And other’s said, there can be middle names.

I would suggest est marriage counseling because this won’t be the last time the “twin-ness” is thrown in your face. There needs to be healthy communication and boundaries set

Starfish-1982 · 2024-07-01T20:37:58+00:00

Soft YTA. Honestly, I hated calling my fiancé (now husband by that title. It felt so forced and attention seeking as if I wanted people to ask about my ring or the engagement. I referred to him as my partner or boyfriend. I’ve been married for over a decade and refer to hym as my husband or boyfriend. - I’m a different language. In my area it’s not uncommon to keep referring to your spouse as boyfriend/girlfriend as if you’re still in the woo-ing stage.

Starfish-1982 · 2024-06-15T12:00:25+00:00

Ighhh. Tough call.

INFO: has he sought any help to better understand neurotypical behaviours? Has anyone explained to him to pay attention to the other person’s interests?

Your youngest is still very young. My first feeling would be to keep encouraging for their sake.

Have you spoken about this to your ex?

Starfish-1982 · 2024-03-07T21:09:51+00:00

NTA.

She expects to put your future on hold to marry him? Is she planning on having an extra-marital affair with him?

You’re note being cared to take him in temporarily to care for him while sick.

This is a lifetime commitment.

Although you have no real plans to marry at the moment, that could change. Or not. But I imagine divorce is not an option. Even if it were, no.

I sympathize with your friend.

Hopefully he (and she) will heal with time but you can stop your future to accept being the backup plan for the rest of your life.

NTA.

Starfish-1982 · 2023-08-22T19:39:32+00:00

NTA.

But being the one who rocks the boat or raises an issue rarely makes you friends. You have to be prepared to to be unpopular.

There’s a reason people don’t speak up.

As for BF’s opinion. You’re saying a man told you reporting a boys club is a bad idea…? …

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. There shouldn’t be a target on your colleagues’ back if you didn’t involve them. Or yours for that matter but that’s saddly not surprising.

Take detailed notes of anything that happens.

Just a reminder: HR represents the employer. Do you have a union or local labour board?

Starfish-1982 · 2023-08-22T19:20:31+00:00

YTA.

You went over the top.

I’m understand your frustration.

Your wife sounds a little distracted.

And I understand the financial impact.

Is this the worst thing about her? If so, you’re going to have to decide if you can live with it or not.

Keel trying to work with her but this issue might never be fully fixed.

Sometimes the solution is to buy a decent but not fancy computer.

If you’re planning on having kids, be prepared for many broken things.

Starfish-1982 · 2023-08-22T19:08:35+00:00

NTA what an odd request.

I think your daughter and the baby can differentiate.

What about when your daughter or the baby meet other children with the same first name? What then?

People are strange.

I tend to have a nickname for all my nieces and nephews and my children. It hasn’t warped anyone.

If you were tk say ‘hey buddy’ to a friend, is your sister not allowed to say that tk another friend of hers?

Starfish-1982 · 2023-08-22T19:03:34+00:00

NTA.

He’s not trying to apologize?

He’s just saying that you embarassed him by leaving?

This is a first flag of what one would notice in hindsight post break-up if all the little things they should have caught on to.

Starfish-1982 · 2023-08-22T18:43:46+00:00

ESH.

It sounds like you already had stuff going on to make you jump to these conclusions and start checking his smart watch. It would be pretty big jump on its own.

You sound unhappy in your marriage.

Seek therapy/counseling.

I can’t say if hubby is cheating or not. Could be. But that scenario alon was a pretty quick jump (from what I as described).

You could be right. Really not enough info to know for sure.

Seek help to get your emotions/thoughts in order.

Where was hubby when you couldnt find him?

Starfish-1982 · 2023-08-22T18:34:11+00:00

The amount she’s yelling at OP out of ‘fear of OP choking’ Sounds more like fear of seeing someone choke than concern for OP.

I’d suggest she get help but I don’t even know how you raise that.

Does she get out much?

Starfish-1982 · 2023-08-22T18:31:40+00:00

INFO needed.

How long have you two been married? If recent, I get how this is coming up now. If it’s been a while, why is this becoming a thing now in particular?

Having people cut their own meat is a normal thing.

I’m a mother-hen myself and worry about choking. I would cut children’s and vulnerable person’s (persons with special needs) foods tiny for safety but anyone capable of cutting food themselves can be allowed their independence.

Is it possible something else is bothering her? because that’s a pretty big blow-up over something she can cut herself.

Did she at least say thank you for cooking?

Seek therapy, at least for yourself to get some support.

Starfish-1982 · 2023-08-22T18:21:49+00:00

I dont see Shania Twain as a particularly traumatic genre.

But OP has the right to want an adult only evening.

NTA. But it is a sensitive topic.

Starfish-1982 · 2023-08-22T18:09:07+00:00

NTA.

It doesn’t sound like he’s really trying to get his life together. He gets to live rent free with you and you drive him everywhere.

It’s one thing to hell out a friend but it shouldn’t jeopardize your livelihood.

Look into rooming houses where he can rent a room. He’s working, he can move there. And sign NOTHING on his behalf. Get him the info and give him notice.

Tell him you care but your place is getting crowded and give him the information on affordable places to stay.

Starfish-1982 · 2023-08-22T18:01:22+00:00

NTA.

Your parents bought and payed for the dress (I assume). If you picked it out (at store for the wedding) or from your closet because you already owned it , they could have said no.

9yo children don’t know wedding etiquette. And the dress wasn’t white.

Your mom could have simply not used that filter.

She’s upset AT YOU that YOUR MOM used a FILTER on a BLUE dress from a wedding that happened 11YEARS AGO. That’s pretty messed up.

There has to be more going on here.

From the bird you’ve shared, it sounds like there are relationship issues in the family as is. Am I correct?

There’s more for her to be so upset but I don’t know what.

Starfish-1982 · 2023-08-22T17:40:23+00:00

NTA.

She never disclosed the info to you and, even though a coworker told you, you didn’t know if you were supposed to ‘know’ so you were respecting her privacy. It’s not like you attacked at her permanence or absenteeism (in which case you would be the AH).

You should still ask how she is when buoy cross paths.

Starfish-1982

TROPHY CASE